(I am working in a buffet-style restaurant where customers line up for the food.)

Supervisor: “Can you go refill the napkins? We’re all out.”

Me: “Sure.”

(I walk over to the line wearing my work uniform and my ID card prominently displayed.)

Me: “Excuse me, I just need to refill the napkins.”

Customer: “No problem.”

Customer #2: “Why the f*** does everyone keep cutting the line?”

Me: “Sir, I work here. I am just refilling the napkins.”

Customer #2: “Well, that is no excuse! If you work here, you should know to wait your turn!”

(I’m ringing up a mother and her daughter, about 8 years old, at the register. My computer is messing up, so sometimes when I scan an item, it comes up as a different item with the wrong price.)

Me: “I’m sorry about this. My computer seems to be acting up.”

Girl: “Maybe it’s broken!”

Me: “Yeah, that’s probably true.”

Girl: *excitedly* “Or…maybe zombies got it!”

Me: *plays along* “Oh yeah, that’s a good possibility too!”

Girl: “Yeah, zombies are people that used to be dead, and then they came back to life!”

Me: “Wow, that sounds pretty creepy!”

(The girl chatters on about zombies and other stuff while I finish cashing her mother out for their purchases.)

Me: *hands them their bags* “Alright, you have a good day, and look out for zombies!”

Girl: “Oh, don’t worry! That only happens in nightmares. Just make sure you dream about good zombies!”

Me: “Got it, I’ll make sure I do!”

This story is part of the Zombies roundup!

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CONTENT WARNING: Death

(New Year’s Eve is in full swing. Shortly before the midnight countdown, a coworker of mine drops down dead beside me from a brain aneurysm. We went into shock and obviously tried to help her. The customer that she was serving starts complaining about the quality of service.)

Customer: “Leave her; it’s almost midnight! I need my glass of wine to celebrate!”

Me: “Sir, we believe she may be dead. Please have a bit of compassion. The bar will be closing now while we wait for emergency services.”

Customer: “Forget that! We want to celebrate. Get me my drink now and take her body out back or something!”

Me: “Security! Throw this man out and clear the bar.”

Customer: “I will get both her and you fired for this!”

(I’m working the register when an older lady approaches and asks for a price check on some fabric.)

Me: “That one is $9.99 per yard.”

Customer: “Minus the 30% off.”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s regular price.”

Customer: “The sign said 30% off.”

(She takes me to the place where the fabric came from. The sign does indeed say 30% off, but has the name of the fabric that’s stored on the opposite side of the display. I flip the sign around the right way.)

Me: “Sorry, someone must have accidentally spun it around. See? It says this is regular price. The names are on the signs, so you can see which ones are on sale.”

Customer: “Okay, okay. Sorry.”

(She goes back to browsing and I go back to the register. After I ring up a few more customers, she’s back with another bolt to be checked.)

Me: “This one is $12.99 per yard.”

Customer: “But the sign says it’s only $3.95!”

Me: “Okay, let’s go look again.”

(Again, the sign over the fabric’s location says what she quoted to me. However, it’s been ripped in half so that the name of the fabric is now gone and it’s barely staying in its frame. I turn and look at the customer and she throws her hands up before I can even open my mouth.)

Customer: “I didn’t think you’d fall for it, but I had to try! Fabric’s so expensive these days!”

Customer: “I want to get this TV for $2,599.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our price is fixed at $2,999.”

Customer: “That’s nonsense! I went to [Competitor] and they’re selling the same thing for $2,599!”

Me: “Is that so? I highly doubt that because this is the current market price for this newly released model. Everyone is selling it at $2,999.”

Customer: “Are you saying I’m a liar? I even took a picture of their price tag, but I can’t show you because I left my camera in my car.”

Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry if you think that way, but even if it is indeed at that price, we don’t do price matching at our store.

Customer: “Why the h*** won’t you do that? I can just go there and pay them good money, you know.”

Me: “If I may ask, sir, why you don’t do so?”

Customer: “Er, because I told them that I saw the same TV elsewhere at $2,299.”