(I have been cleaning up the magazine section for over an hour, as people leave piles of magazines all over the store rather than buying them or putting them back. Two women approach me as I’m working.)

Woman #1: “Excuse me, didn’t you have chairs here in this section before?”

Me: “Yes we did, but we took them away because this area isn’t monitored as often and it results in a large mess and damaged products.”

Woman #2: *after leaving a pile of magazines on the floor* “Oh, so you mean you got lazy.”

(I try hard to not roll up a magazine and bop her on the head with it.)

This story is part of our Lazy Customers roundup!

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Read the Lazy Customers roundup!

Customer: “Is there an elevator to the theatre?”

Me: “Yes, directly across from me.”

(The customer walks to the front of elevator and starts yelling…)

Customer: “How does this thing work?!”

Me: “Press the button, and when the doors open, get in and press floor number 2.”

Customer: “No, how does this thing work?”

Me: “Do you mean the physics behind elevators? This brand of elevator… or something more specific?”

Customer: “No, how does it work with me?”

(My phone was ringing and I had to go answer it in a different room. I wandered off. Ten minutes later, the customer was still arguing with the elevator. I left for lunch… a very long lunch.)

(There is a huge line of customers waiting on their drinks. An impatient customer who just placed his order assumes the next drink is his and takes it, after I call someone else’s name.)

Customer: “This isn’t hot chocolate.”

Me: “That’s because you grabbed someone else’s drink.”

Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate!”

Me: “There are nine people in front of you waiting for drinks. You grabbed the wrong drink.”

Customer: “But it isn’t hot chocolate.”

(I look at the order screen for the name on the drink he took.)

Me: “Is your name [Other Customer]?”

Customer: “No, and this isn’t hot chocolate!”

Me: “That’s because you took [Other Customer]’s drink!”

Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”

Me: “Hand me the drink and I will remake the person whose drink you took. I’ll make your hot chocolate, but it will take a few minutes!”

(The customer hands the drink back to me.)

Customer: “It’s not hot chocolate!”

(I have just taken the client’s information and asked him what kind of issue he is having.)

Client: “Well, I’ve been having some problems with my emai–”

(I hear the guy pull the phone away from his mouth.)

Client:*yelling* “HEY, SHUT THE F*** UP, MOTHERF*****!”

Someone Else In The Background: “NO, YOU’RE THE MOTHER-F*****, A**HOLE! YOU SHUT THE F*** UP!”

(After about ten seconds of silence, the guy came back on the line and continued describing his problem like nothing ever happened.)

This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!

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(A woman came up to the concession counter with a tub of popcorn.)

Me: “Yes, can I help you?”

Woman: “WHY IS THIS POPCORN COLD?!”

Me: “It is? That’s weird; it shouldn’t be. I just made several batches, so I can get you another one.”

(The popcorn is ice cold, which is odd considering it usually stays warm for a few hours.)

Me: “Just wondering, when did you buy this popcorn?”

Woman: “Yesterday.”

Me: “…”