Our building is getting some much-needed work done on it, and the result is that we have horrible noise every day that starts almost the exact time we open. My manager orders some earplugs for all the desks so that we can give them out. They are those foam types that aren’t in pairs; it’s just a huge bag of earplugs. They are fluorescent orange and look like baby carrots.

I find a bowl, make a sign that says “Free Earplugs,” and place them at the desk. Five minutes after we open, a patron comes up, grabs a handful, shoves them in their mouth, and then spits them right back into their hand. 

Patron: “These aren’t carrots.”

Me: “No, they are earplugs.” 

Patron: “Why do you have earplugs?”

Right then, the construction noise started. I just picked up the trashcan. The patron dumped the earplugs in and walked off.

I’m a patron in a library. I see a woman and a small child come in and try to check out a few movies.

Librarian: “I’m sorry, but you have to pay your overdue fee first before we can let you check out these books.”

Woman: “I always return my books on time!”

Librarian: “Our systems show you have fifteen dollars in late fees.”

You can have up to ten dollars in fees and still be able to check stuff out, so she only really has to pay five dollars, but she isn’t having any of it.

Woman: “I am not paying an arm and a leg to check out a book! You won’t let me get anything because you’re racist!”

Librarian: *Taken aback* “What?”

Woman: “You don’t like me because I have an Asian child!”

She is white.

Librarian: “Ma’am, you can’t check these out because you haven’t paid your fines. All you need to do is pay five dollars to be able to check them out.”

Woman: “I will not be discriminated against! You have a problem with Asian children!”

At this point, she is yelling, and another patron walks up to her.

Other Patron: “You need to calm down. We’re in a library.”

Woman: “Well, she’s racist and won’t let me check out these movies!”

Other Patron: “This is a library. No one wants to hear you.”

She then gives up and just storms out, pulling the kid by his arm pretty hard. I go up to the librarian.

Me: “I think she was having a bad day and just wanted to take it out on someone.”

I’m nineteen, and I’ve been working in a public library for about half a year. It’s one of my first shifts alone at the reference desk. A regular who looks to be in his mid-fifties to early sixties approaches me, so I put on my friendly customer smile.

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Regular: “Yeah, I think I have to make a complaint.”

Me: “Oh, no, what happened?”

Regular: *Grinning smugly* “You stole my heart…”

I didn’t know how to react at this point and just laughed it off, but his comment made me really uncomfortable. Later, I told my coworker about it. She all but dragged me into my boss’s office. My boss was equally furious and promised to kick the regular out if he ever so much as looked at me wrong. Luckily, I haven’t seen him since.

Dear readers,

Today is National Read A Book Day in the US, and what better place to start reading than the library? There’s something truly serene about a library, surrounded by books and hushed voices and those return date stamps. (Do they still stamp the return date in books? I confess I haven’t been to a proper library in years. Whoops.)

However, when you run into patrons like these, the peaceful atmosphere of the library dissolves pretty quickly. We’ve rounded up 12 stories from our archives about library patrons that will make you want to throw a book at them!

As Opposed To The Ones That You Can, Like, Smoke? – The eternal question: stupid or stoned?

A Series Of Unfortunate Questions – We really need Lemony Snicket to explain this one. He’s good at that.

An Interest In Corruption – People who owe large sums of money aren’t usually in the position to make demands.

(more…)

I work at a bookstore. One day, a man walks up to me. 

Customer: “Hey, is it cool if I order pizza? I’m hooked on [Book].”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but there is no food allowed inside the bookstore.”

Customer: “But you have a coffee shop right next door!”

Me: “Yes, but they are not affiliated with us. You are welcome to purchase [Book] and go next door.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to spend any money on a book!”

I’m thinking, “But you were willing to spend money on pizza?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the rules are set. No food inside the bookstore.”

I later spotted him talking to my manager, and she was speaking firmly to him. He pointed me out, and I overheard her say that I was right, there is no food allowed inside the store. I later heard from my coworker that he complained to corporate, who told him he was not to return unless he followed the store rules.