(I am reaching the end of a transaction with a customer over the phone and just need to take payment.)

Me: Did you want to make payment on a card today?

Customer: Yes. My Mastercard. You should have the details from last time.

Me: Sorry but we are unable to store that sort of information for Data Protection purposes so I’ll need to take the details over the phone.

Customer: That’s ridiculous! I’m going to have to go and find my card now. Do you realise how inconvenient this is?

Me: Yes sir, I understand how inconvenient it is that we don’t store your credit card details on our system that anybody can access.

Customer: Oh, well when you put it like that…

(I worked at an ice-cream stand at the mall. Out of all the crazy things that happened during that job, my co-workers were the real nutjobs. I was working a shift with the boss’s ex-wife. We had just served a customer together.)

Coworker: *with obvious disgust on her face* Did you see that?

Me: See what?

Coworker: That customer was just chewing away at those [popular midly smelly snack food]. I could smell them from here! People are so f****** rude!

(This was my first odd encounter with my co-workers, so I was confused and laughed it off. That job ended when my other coworker, the boss’s daughter, tried to frame me for stealing money. Needless to say I do not miss that job.)

I got called to do showcase where they put valuable stuff inside and can only be opened by key. This lady wanted to see this bag but was hidden underneath a bigger bag, which I didn’t see in the beginning. She kept on pointing at the bigger bag and saying behind it, I pointed to the two bags behind it and she kept on saying no behind it, behind it. Two other customers helped me out, a lady pointed it out that it was a hidden underneath and explained that I didn’t see it. A man told the lady to lower her voice and explained that it was underneath and not behind.

(I work at a semi-popular fast food restaurant that serves a type of soft serve in a cup. We have two flavors, chocolate and vanilla, and 4 different sizes.)
Customer: Can I have a number 1 combo?
Me: Anything else for you tonight?
Customer: Yeah, can I have a [soft serve] please?
Me: Okay. Chocolate or vanilla?
Customer: Chocolate.
Me: Okay, what size?
Customer: Chocolate.
Me: Okay sir, but what size, small medium, or large?
Customer: Chocolate!
Me: So, that’s a small chocolate [soft serve]?
Customer: Chocolate! What don’t you understand? I want a chocolate [soft serve]!
Me: I’m trying to get that for you, but I need to know what size.
Customer: Oh, small. How didn’t you know that I wanted a small?
(I just make him the soft serve and give him his food. My manager comes up to me after he leaves.)
Manager: What just happened?
Me: I honestly had no clue people don’t understand sizes and also expect me to telepathically know what size they want.
Manager: Oh. I’m so sorry.

(a few very common interactions that happen at my store)

Customer: I need ink for my printer

Me: Ok, what printer do you have?

Customer: I don’t know, but I bought it here.

—

Customer: I need a case for my tablet

Me: Ok, what kind of tablet do you have?

Customer: I don’t know, but I got it here.

—–

Customer: I need a new battery for my laptop

Me: Ok did your bring your laptop in with you?

Customer: No, but I got it here.