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Untouched and raw stories: unedited, uncensored, unformatted, and sometimes unbelievable!

Unfiltered Story #56753

Unfiltered | March 7, 2016

(I work as a receptionist for a family-owned car dealership. The owners rarely come to this location, and one owner, who has a unisex name, has never had her office space in my location. Despite this, many telemarketers call asking for her, and try different ploys to get her contact info. This one stands out.)

Telemarketer: Is (Unisex owner’s name) there?

Me: No, I’m sorry, can I take a message?

Telemarketer: No, that’s fine. I was just talking to him yesterday and wanted to touch base again.

Me: Well sir, if you had been talking to (Owner), you would know that (Name) is a SHE, not a he. Have a good day.

Telemarketer: (Stammers and hangs up).

A word to the wise: Never assume gender if the name is ambigious!

Unfiltered Story #47728

Unfiltered | March 7, 2016

Sister: Ugh, do I have to do this in MLA format? I can’t use contractions if it’s MLA.

Me: You mean you *cannot* use contractions!

Unfiltered Story #28031

Unfiltered | March 7, 2016

Friend: Your face is cute today.

Me: *pauses with a chip half way in my mouth for a good couple seconds before replying* What?

Unfiltered Story #32298

Unfiltered | March 6, 2016

(I was in Junior high at this time, 8th grade. I had been going to school with almost the same classmates and friends through 6th and 7th grade, but this was the first time we had ended up into different class schedules so we had to rely on before and after school to see each other. Only one friend was in my class schedule.)

Friend in my class: “Hey, I heard [other teachers] say [our teacher] isn’t coming today and that’s why we’re all still hanging out in the hall.”

Me: “I hope it’s [awesome sub] and not [awful sub].”

Friend in my class: “It’s [awful sub].”

Friend not in our class: “Ha, she’s the worst. She doesn’t even do anything but talk the whole time, you could be reading manga or doodling, she wouldn’t even notice. ”

Friend in my class: “As long as you behave she doesn’t really pay attention to anything. I bet she wouldn’t even realize [a classmate] is out sick. You should sit at her desk!”

(We were not a very popular group of kids, we were often known for doing harmlessly stupid and silly stuff at school like dressing in all black on Friday the 13th. Scared the staff so much they sent us all to the principal’s office. So comparatively temporary identity theft was right up their alley.)

Awful sub who finally arrived: “Shut up! Sit down. Answer here!”

(As the sub runs down the roll call the rest of the class has silently noted our friend has taken seat at [sick classmate]’s desk. They dislike the sub more than us so when the sub called [sick classmate]’s name and my friend answered they all started casually trying not to laugh. Having my friend share our class that day actually made everyone’s spirits rise because every time some one would giggle at the joke the sub would go off on a tangent. I don’t think we learned anything that day, all anyone wanted to talk about was my friend hijacking another class schedule. We had that same sub several times that week, but she never did notice when the girl who was supposed to be in class came back and looked nothing like my friend.)

Unfiltered Story #67117

Unfiltered | March 6, 2016

Me: “Ma’am, you have paid through Expedia.”

Guest: “No! I didn’t! I paid through your website!”

Me: “Ma’am it says right here that you paid through Expedia.”

Guest: *looks at me like I’m crazy* “No! I didn’t! It was through you guys! I’m certain!”

(We go around like this for a while. Meanwhile, people are trying to get service behind her, but she doesn’t budge an inch, arguing.)

Me: “Ma’am, how about I get the manager to explain it to you.”

Guest: “I don’t see why you should get the manager. It’s pretty obvious I’m right!”

(I get the manager anyway.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you have paid this through Expedia. You’ll have to get your receipt through them. I don’t know how clearer I can make this.”

Guest: “I know what I saw! It’s was YOUR website!”

Manager: “Ma’am…is it possible…that the websites…ours and Expedia’s…looked similar?”

(The guest pauses. My manager, I, and the other guests behind her all hold our breath as she thinks it over.)

Guest: “I guess it is possible. Why didn’t you tell me this earlier? Now I’m late for my flight!”

Other Guest: “They did a million times, you idiot!”

Guest: “Well, I never! Harrumph!”

(She storms out. Later, she complained to the corporate office that she was called an idiot when questioning her bill. She was given a free certificate.)