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Making Honey-Suckers Out Of People

, , , , , , | Working | January 20, 2023

My wife and I are visiting a public garden not too far from where we live. My parents are with us. On the day we visit, there’s a family event happening with a range of activities, one of which includes a tea-tasting in the gift shop, which is next to the restaurant.

We head to the restaurant for lunch, and then afterward, my wife and my mum want to have a look around the gift shop, so they walk in while my dad and I loiter at the entrance to wait for them.

The lady running the tea-tasting asks if they want to taste any of her teas, which they don’t, although my wife is interested to know what teas this woman has. She starts showing them to my wife, explaining the ingredients, and so on.

Woman: “This one’s got [ingredients] in it; that’s good if you want to relax. This other one is good for concentration because it has [other ingredient].”

She sees my wife looking at a brightly-coloured tea box.

Woman: “Ah! Now that’s got honeysuckle in it. That wee one will cure cancer.”

She’s about to talk about another tea when my dad speaks up. He’s a retired doctor and rightly gets angry when he hears people giving questionable medical advice. He walks over to the woman’s kiosk.

Dad: “Excuse me? You can’t say that!”

Woman: “Pardon?”

Dad: “You can’t claim that honeysuckle tea cures cancer! I’m a retired doctor and I can tell you that, without evidence from an extensive clinical trial process, it’s illegal to claim that tea will cure cancer!”

Woman: *Blushing* “Oh! Okay. I’ll just put this away, then…”

She grabbed the box of honeysuckle tea and stowed it away in a drawer underneath her kiosk. My wife and mum turned and walked out of the gift shop, and we all headed off for a walk, with my dad telling us about how dangerous it is for people to make statements like that.

I’m not medically trained but I do have to agree with him. I wonder how many other people she’d said this to. She was probably caught off guard to meet someone who actually knew what they were talking about.

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 27

, , , , , | Right | January 3, 2023

I work at a tea store where we sell tea to make yourself and drinks to take with you. My coworker is making a customer a drink when another comes up to the counter ready to check out. Trying to multitask, my coworker greets the new customer.

Coworker: “What can I get you?”

New Customer: “A gift card for $20.”

Coworker: “I will help you when I am done making this other customer’s drink.”

The drink gets done, and the coworker turns to the original customer.

Coworker: “That’ll be $5.37.”

The original customer pays and the new customer who wants the gift card comes up.

Coworker: “That will be $20, please.”

New Customer: “You said it was $5.37.”

Coworker: “That was the price for the customer ahead of you. Your $20 gift card will be… $20.”

New Customer: “But you said it was $5.37. I want it for $5.37!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, the price of the gift card has to match what you pay for it.”

New Customer: “Why?”

Coworker: “Otherwise, we’d be losing money.”

New Customer: “So?”

Retail has taught me that there is such a thing as a stupid question, and there are even stupider people behind those questions.

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 26
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 25
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 24
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 23
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 22

Customer Service To A Tea

, , , , , , | Right | March 6, 2022

My wife is almost completely tee-total except for the odd sip from time to time but she drinks tea constantly — both the proper stuff and herbal. When she was pregnant, she more or less gave it up because she was concerned about the caffeine content, but I knew that she was missing it.

One day after work, I went to a specialist shop a few streets away from my office and had a chat with one of their staff about my situation. She was absolutely wonderful and spent time helping me with a selection of teas that were naturally caffeine-free, worked with my wife’s preferences, and were otherwise safe to consume whilst pregnant.

After one of her colleagues rang me up, I asked to speak with the manager.

Manager: *Polite but a little apprehensive* “Hello, I understand that you wanted to speak to me. How can I help?”

Me: “I just wanted to give you a bit of feedback. Your member of staff has been absolutely wonderful today and has really gone out of her way to help me find teas that my pregnant wife can enjoy. I really just wanted to thank you also and let you know that I had a great experience today so that you can mark it in her next performance review or whatever.”

Manager: “Oh! That’s wonderful. I’m really happy to hear that and thank you for taking the time to speak to me. Congratulations, too! Here, let me give you something.”

The manager then spent the next few minutes filling up my carrier bag with free samples before thanking me again and telling me to have a good day. What a great experience! The place wasn’t the cheapest but it definitely became my favourite spot for unusual teas after this.

Leaves Them Very Tai-wanting

, , | Right | July 22, 2021

I work at a bubble tea place and am full Taiwanese — where bubble tea came from!

Me: “Here’s your drink! Have a wonderful day!”

The customer looks at the drink mysteriously.

Me: “Is there an issue?

Customer: “Yeah, I just don’t think this is the right shade of black for the boba!

Me: “I’m… sorry?

Customer: *Hands the drink back* “Yeah, so if you could just make it the proper shade and change that, that would be great!

Reaching New Tea Totals

, , , , | Right | April 24, 2021

I walk into my favorite tea shop in the early afternoon and am greeted by the owner.

Owner: “Well! Glad to see you… You’re our seventh customer today!”

They’ve been open since nine am.

Me: “Well, you’d better get your restroom breaks while you can. You know what happens when I come in.”  

We’ve been joking about how every time I come in, they immediately get slammed. The owner’s husband replies as he goes into the restroom.

Owner’s Husband: “You snooze, you lose.”

I get a cup of the tea they’re sampling and then go about picking out my teas to refill my stash as we chat.

Just as the last of the shop’s staff goes into the restroom and the owner’s husband is weighing and bagging my tea, the door opens and two groups come in — about seven people.

The owner helps one group and her employee helps another. Several more groups come in.

By the time I’ve been there for twenty minutes, the shop is packed. People keep coming up and asking me about various black teas.

Customer: “Thanks! I will get all these. Can you ring me up?”

Me: “Just take it over to the register.”

Customer: “But we want you to get the credit.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t have a register login because I don’t actually work here.”

Customer: “Oh! I’m sorry!”

Me: “If it bothered me, I would have made an excuse and escaped!”

I was doing that for over an hour. When everyone finally cleared out, they had made more than $1,500 in that hour! They’d been under $100 when I walked in.

They gave me my tea for free; they said I’d earned it.

This story is part of our Best Of April 2021 roundup!

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Read the Best Of April 2021 roundup!