(I work for a company that sells LARP weapons and armour, so we often get interesting customers, but this phone call was enough to make me get the work whiskey out)
Me: “[Company], home of the [brand we specialize in].
Customer: “Hi. I have a few questions about your gam-BE-soons.”
Me: “Sure, I can help you with gambesons, what did you need to know?”
Customer: “Okay, so because Russia is hacking me I have to change my email every month. The Russian dating sites made my girlfriend leave me because she was afraid of them, but now she set the Russian mob on me.”
Me: “Err, okay, I’m sorry to hear that sir, what did you need to know about the gambesons?”
(He launches in to a 5 minute rant on Russian conspiracy theories, and I send my coworkers a message letting them know I’ll be on the phone for a while.)
Customer: “Anyway, I need to know if I can buy the gam-BE-soon in black.”
Me: “Yep! Just select black when you are placing the order on our site.”
Customer: “I also have a question about your chainmail.”
Me: “Sure thing, what did you need to know?”
Customer: “Trump made me pay $700 more for a dragon thing when he changed the American currency.”
Me: “Uh-huh.”
(He rants about Trump for a few minutes before finally finally asking his question.)
Customer: “Do you stock short sleeved chain?”
Me: “We have a couple of short sleeved options on our website.”
Customer: “Okay thanks!”

(I had to take a break after this, and my boss is going to post about something to do with Russia on our social media tomorrow to mess with him.)

I work as a hostess in a popular chain restaurant and it is my job to greet the guests and seat them my common greeting being “Hey guys welcome to restaurant, how many in your party today?” I use guys as a general term and no one has ever said anything before
So when a family comes in, a mom her son and husband i greet them
Me: Hi guys welcome to restaurant, give me one second and I can take you to your seat
Woman at my counter staring at me: IM A LADY
Me after awkwardly trying to respond : umm right this way
I still dont understand why she was so defensive

(I work at a pharmacy and we accept a well known rewards card, as part of my hiring process i signed a contract saying i would ask every customer if they have the rewards card)
Me: “do you have [reward card]?”
Customer: “Its cash”
Me “… okay, do you have [reward card]?”
Customer: “It’s cash”
(it continues back and forth like this for a minute)
Customer: “I REFUSE TO ANSWER STUPID QUESTIONS”
Me: “okay, its [price]”
(they pay and leave at last
Next customer: “I feel so bad for you that was so rude”

(some time later i have the same customer again and simply does not respond when i asked for the rewards card, after asking twice i realized who it was)

A young teen comes into our store, browses the board shorts and approached my till.

Teen: Can I pay you $5 to rent these board shorts for a hour. I just need them for a few hours.

Me: They cost $30

Teen: Ya, so? I’m just renting them. I don’t want to keep them.

Me: No!

Teen: Whyyyyy nooootttt?

This is a story that was relayed to me by a coworker.

We work in a call center answering questions from people who want to visit our city. It’s a Monday afternoon and my coworker receives an online chat from a visitor who wants to know parking options for his RV. The only place you’re allowed to park RVs downtown is the visitor center parking garage, which has a max clearance of 12’8″. She relays this information to the visitor, who is evidently unhappy with it because he abruptly closes the chat.

A few minutes later our supervisor receives an email from him asking to confirm the maximum clearance and to offer other parking options. The supervisor is out sick so the email gets forwarded to our office manager, who tells him the same thing my coworker did, and also provides the phone number for the parking garage.

A little while later, the office manager gets another email from this guy saying that he spoke to the parking garage staff to confirm that the clearance is 12’8″ and was told the same thing that my coworker and the office manager had told him. He, again, says he wants us to confirm the clearance and provide him with other parking options for his RV. My coworker calls the garage, and the staff member on the other end is very irate with this visitor who was apparently very rude to her.

At this point the clearance has been confirmed at least four times and there’s nothing else we can do for this guy. The office manager emails him to let him know that there are literally no other options for him. He is not allowed to park his RV anywhere else downtown. There is nothing we can do about it.

My ill supervisor checked in to tell us that if he contacts us again, we should point him to the department head. Praying that he doesn’t get in touch with us again.