Unfiltered Story #219087

, , , | Unfiltered | December 23, 2020

(I work for a company that sells LARP weapons and armour, so we often get interesting customers, but this phone call was enough to make me get the work whiskey out)
Me: “[Company], home of the [brand we specialize in].
Customer: “Hi. I have a few questions about your gam-BE-soons.”
Me: “Sure, I can help you with gambesons, what did you need to know?”
Customer: “Okay, so because Russia is hacking me I have to change my email every month. The Russian dating sites made my girlfriend leave me because she was afraid of them, but now she set the Russian mob on me.”
Me: “Err, okay, I’m sorry to hear that sir, what did you need to know about the gambesons?”
(He launches in to a 5 minute rant on Russian conspiracy theories, and I send my coworkers a message letting them know I’ll be on the phone for a while.)
Customer: “Anyway, I need to know if I can buy the gam-BE-soon in black.”
Me: “Yep! Just select black when you are placing the order on our site.”
Customer: “I also have a question about your chainmail.”
Me: “Sure thing, what did you need to know?”
Customer: “Trump made me pay $700 more for a dragon thing when he changed the American currency.”
Me: “Uh-huh.”
(He rants about Trump for a few minutes before finally finally asking his question.)
Customer: “Do you stock short sleeved chain?”
Me: “We have a couple of short sleeved options on our website.”
Customer: “Okay thanks!”

(I had to take a break after this, and my boss is going to post about something to do with Russia on our social media tomorrow to mess with him.)