Unfiltered Story #56663

Unfiltered | December 4, 2015

(It’s almost winter and we are working in a tent outside. My colleague has started shivering.)

Me: *concerned* “Are you cold?”

Colleague: *embarrassed* “No, this was supposed to be dancing.”

(I’m still ashamed of destroying any chance of fun she had that day.)

Unfiltered Story #67023

Unfiltered | December 3, 2015

(I work in the children’s clothing and toy department of a popular retail store only a few hours into the Black Friday rush. The line is queued all the way around the store, and I happen to be folding clothes at a tall stand that sits right right between me and part of the line. Being a very short girl, I cannot see over the stand so I only hear the exchanging of conversations as I am working to straighten up the clothing. Suddenly, an arm reaches around the side and places a small children’s toy on the shelf only inches in front of me as to avoid putting it back in it’s proper place.)

Customer’s Friend: “Dude, there’s a girl folding clothes right there!”

Customer: “Wait, you’re kidding?”

(The customer sheepishly peeks around the shelf to see me right on the other side, his face red as a Christmas light. He then takes the toy back and bursts out laughing. I can’t help but laugh along with him)

Customer: “Oh my god, I am so sorry! I’m so, so embarrassed!”

Me: “Don’t worry sir, you’ve pretty much made my night!”

Unfiltered Story #32208

Unfiltered | December 3, 2015

(I am in the sixth grade. My parents are smokers and I smell like cigarette smoke. I don’t talk much. At least three classmates walk up to my desk. I had this question asked to me before, by a few other classmates.)

Student #1: “Do you smoke?”

Me: *agitated* “My parents are smokers. Leave me alone about it, okay?

(The three are shocked and I hear this:)

Student #2: “I swear, I didn’t know know she knew how to talk.”

Unfiltered Story #27936

Unfiltered | December 3, 2015

(Every Friday, our gym coaches let us have free day. Me, my friends and a new German exchange student like to play a twisted version of volleyball. While we’re playing, three people come up and ask to join.)

Boy: Can we play?

Me: Of course! Here, you two play on this team, and you go play on [Exchange Student]’s team.

(The three proceed to do nothing but take selfies and don’t actually play)

Me: *annoyed, since this is the way I relax every week and they’re in my way* Hey, are you guys going to play or not?!

(They ignore me)

Me: *even more irked* *in mechanical voice* This is a selfie-free zone. Use of electronics while the game is in progress may result in injury or death.

(They continue to ignore me. The exchange student, usually very laid back, seems to get irritated too. We play very rough, and with these kids around, we can’t hit the ball as hard as we like. So he sneaks up behind them and photobombs them. They laugh and go back to standing there.)

Me: Seriously, you guys, you’re gonna get hurt!

(They still ignore me. At this point, I’m very angry and about to go over there and steal the phone. But I don’t have to. My teammate hits the ball, and the way the other team deflects it, it hits the phone and knocks it out of their hands.)

Me: *in mechanical voice* Please keep all electronics safely put away during the game. Use of electronics while the game is in progress may result in injury or death.

(At this point I have to go and chase down a ball that the other team hit really hard. When I get back, the three selfie-students approach me)

Girl: *as if challenging me* What was it you said about selfies?

Me: *still in mechanical voice but much firmer and angrier* This is a selfie-free zone. Continued use of electronics while the game is in progress WILL result in injury or death!

(They laughed nervously and left. I’m not sure if they thought I was threatening them or what, but we had a fantastic game after that and I got into a fun tussle with the exchange student and one of his teammates.)

Unfiltered Story #47634

Unfiltered | December 3, 2015

(My two-year-old daughter is eating food that I cooked.)

Me: “Who made what you’re eating?”

My daughter: “Daddy.”

Me: “Daddy is awesome!”

My daughter: “No, daddy is not awesome.”

Me: “What? Of course daddy is awesome!”

My daughter: “No, daddy is not awesome, daddy is Daniel.”