This story takes place in 2009 or 2010. I was working for a huge name drug store at the time. We had this woman who would come in every night right before close and would stay for 15 to 20 minutes after close every single time. I will use Me for story teller. SFM for shift manager and UC for unwelcome customer.
It is 5 minutes before close and in walks UC.
Me:Just so you are aware we do close in 5 minutes (Even though I know it is pointless because she doesn’t care).
UC: Oh I know I will just be a minute (her minute is 15 to 20 minutes).
Me to SFM: Just so you know UC just walked in again you may want to come to the register because I know I will have issues from her.
SFM comes to the register and waits of UC to come up. UC approaches right at close with a few items. I start thinking maybe this time she will leave at a decent time I was so wrong. I ring up her items and she pulls out her stack of coupons mind you most of her coupons never work and she cannot accept it and move.
Me to UC: Mama this coupon doesn’t work can we try another?
UC: Yea let’s try this one (I scan the coupon and to no surprise it doesn’t work).
Me: Mama none of your coupons are working.
UC; Can we try one more could one more?
At this point SFM steps in now mind you this woman wasn’t one who would take crap from anyone and once you pissed her off all hell would break loose.
SFM:We have tried your coupons its now 15 minutes after close I need to count this draw down so we can go home. None of his get paid over time and you hold us up every night for 15 minutes using coupons you know will not work. Honestly I do not know why you keep coming in here no one here likes you and we really wish you would stop coming in here. (The whole time she saying this I am trying hard not to bust out laughing because it was so very tue)
UC looks at her stunned and demands the corporate number and her name. SFM gives her both with no problem. The next day I find out that UC did in fact call our district manager who came in and spoke with SFM. He told her while trying not to laugh that while it may be true what she said she could not talk to customers like that. SFM was not fired and after the District manager reviewed the footage for the month he saw that she was doing it every night and she was banned from coming into the store because it was clear that she was doing it on purpose and had no regard for us. I quit a year later for an unrelated reason.

My workplace has a bunch of different locations and part of their orientation is a series of field trips to tour the locations. I was visibly pregnant when I did the bulk of the tours. I also always ended up touring with an overly friendly new hire…

New hire: Wow, that was a fun tour! Say, why don’t all us girls get a drink and get to know each other?
Me (5 months along): Sorry. (Points to my rounded belly.) Pregnant. Maybe another time.

6 months along and definitely showing. I had hiked three flights of stairs during the tour and was noticeably winded…

New hire: Hey, let’s all get a drink! You come too, [Me]!
Me: (pointing to my noticeably round belly) Still pregnant! Talk to me about drinks in a few months.

7 months along. There’s no question that I’m preggers because I’m all belly and having to sit a lot…

New hire: Let’s go drinking! [Me], you definitely need to come!
Me: Still pregnant.
New hire: Come anyway! You can have a soda!
Me: No, I can’t. I have gestational diabetes. Bar food will wreck my blood sugar and put my baby at risk. Thank you for the invite, but no thanks.
New hire: … Oh…

I appreciate her efforts to include me, but dang. Take a hint, lady.

So had a customer come to the desk and ask me to help him log out of the computer. it went something like this-

Patron: Help me log out?
Me: OK, its a little red door on the desktop, double click that and you will have logged out.
Patron: I don’t understand you help me?
Me: *gets up and goes to show him* I get to the machine and he has already logged out of his email so i close Internet explorer and show him the red door. I then tell him that he needs to click that to log out.
He then proceeds to look at me. clearly thinking i’m going to do this for him. When i make it clear i wont be doing it for him he sits down and reopens Internet explorer and closes it again. He does this a few times until i ask why he’s doing that.
Patron: I want to log out.
Me: you already logged out of your email so i’m confused as to why you are reopening the Internet. If you want to log out you need to use the red door on the desktop…
Patron: continues to reopen the internet and close it again…finally it sinks in what I’ve told him and eventually logs out of the machine.

I had been hunting for jobs using online job sites, and missed a call from this (ahem, /totally legitimate/) company:

“Hello, this is [name] from [slurred company name] in [city two hours drive away], trying to contact [Mom’s name] about a job you applied for with us. Please call us at [phone number].”

First of all, my mom is retired, and I know for a fact that she’s not applying online. She doesn’t even know how to job hunt on the internet.

Second of all, I am the only one applying online anywhere. I couldn’t identify the company name from the deliberately slurred message, so I had no reason to trust that the offer was legitimate.

Thirdly, I have no idea how they got my mom’s name from my resume, and my name sounds NOTHING like my mom’s name. My best guess is that they mixed my name up with another resume they found online.

In the end, I felt it was safe to turn my back on that “opportunity” since there were too many red flags.

My brother in law (bil) and I are going from furniture shop to flooring shop trying to help my mother in law (mil) find a rug that doesn’t clash with her new lounge. She’s being super fussy and my bil and I are getting a bit bored.
We walk into the umpteenth store, this one sells nothing but rugs.
The sales assistant walks over to us and with a cheerful smile welcomes us and says “what are you after today?”
My BIL and I look at each other, obviously thinking the same thing, but we say nothing.
Then my MIL with all sincerity and a straight face says “a rug”.
That’s all we needed. My BIL and I absolutely lost it and had to go outside for laughing. My MIL kind of scolded is for not being helpful nor mature. We both understood the guy wanted to know specifically what type of rug she wanted, but it had been a long day and it was just too much. Especially when she replied what we were thinking.