This was just a short one that I thought was cute. I was in the process of moving one block over. I was taking smaller things from my place to the new one in an abandoned shopping cart as I didn’t have a car. One of the last things for me to move was the “frankencage” for my pet rats… which is what I called the cage I had fashioned out of two smaller ones.

As I was rattling down the street with my 4 babies in tow, a bunch of children came running up to me, interested in what I was doing. They became very excited upon seeing the rats and started asking all sorts of questions. My favourite, by far, was a girl about 12 years old who asked:

Girl: How many eggs do rats lay at one time?

I am not sure what made her think rats laid eggs, but I thought it was cute… and I did tell her all about how they were mammals just like us and had live babies.

(My sister and I live a few hours away and are texting about Christmas. We have both purchased and begun playing a highly anticipated video game. I worked the weekend while she was off, so she’s made more headway than I have. This all occurs over text.)

Sister: Can you help me out with installing [mom’s Christmas present]?

Me: It sounds complicated – let me look into it tonight during downtime at work and I’ll let you know.

Sister: Okay, thanks! Appreciate it!

(About twenty minutes later…)

Sister: I’m freaking on Kashykk and they’ve given me a breather?! I just know there must be some big fish in that lake. Lord help me.

(Immediately, she realizes what she’s done.)

Sister: Sorry! That last one was for [boyfriend]! LOL

Me: NO F***ING SPOILERS

(My sister apologized profusely while snickering on her side of the state, as it’s a long-standing tradition that we don’t ruin games for each other. I got her back by beating the game first, though!)

I work front desk at a hotel. A guy walks in.
Guy: Hey is this ( Hotel Name)?
Me: Yes it is how may I help
Guy: I need to find (hotel name)
Me: This is (hotel name)
Guy:I really need to find (hotel name)
Me; you are in (hotel name)
I point to the giant sign with our hotel name right in front of him.

*So I’m at school, and it’s lunchtime, so of course I am eating with one of my friends and some other people I talk to but don’t hang out with. We get around to playing some music on our phones, and I’m dancing*
Person: Ha ha, what the hell type of dance move is that?
Me: It’s the school boogie! Hey (Friend), come on, dance!
*Friend then does a weirder dance then mine*
Me: HA HA! OH MY GOODNESS THATS FUNNY AND WEIRD!
Friend: Well, I mean I could dance sexier.
*A large silence at our table follows these words*
Me: We will never talk about this. Ever.

Girl #1: “you missed bathroom day”
Guy: “I’m sorry but I really don’t care about bathroom day”
Girl #2: “how can you not care about bathroom day?!”
They proceeded to have a long and confusing argument that offered no clarification as to what bathroom day actually was.