This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 98

The grocery store where I work has taken to delivering orders to people who are self-isolating due to the current health crisis. Customers email or call in a list of what groceries they need and we gather the groceries and ring them up, and then we call the customer on the phone. We give them the total and they pay over the phone with a debit card. Some customers, of course, like to pay cash on delivery, but as most people would prefer no contact, card over the phone is the usual deal.

I have just rung up a customer’s order and I phone them on the number provided. Most of those taking advantage of our service are elderly.

Me: “That comes to £63.46. Are you happy for me to take payment now over the phone?”

Elderly Customer: “Yes, dear, of course. I really want to avoid all contact with the outside world right now.”

Me: “I understand, ma’am. Please just call out the long number on your debit card when you are ready.”

Elderly Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one of those, dear!”

Me: “Not a problem; we take credit cards and prepaid cards. Just please read me the long number.”

Elderly Customer: “Do you not take cash?”

Me: “Of course! If you wish to pay cash, our delivery person will bring change for whatever notes you have, and you can simply pay him at the door when he brings you your order.”

Elderly Customer: “Oh, I can’t do that! What if he has [illness]?! I want to pay cash now.”

Me: *Puzzled* “Um… I am sorry. I don’t understand.”

Elderly Customer: *Suddenly impatient* “I said that I want to pay you cash! You take cash! So take my cash payment now!”

Me: “…”

Elderly Customer: “Well? Will you or won’t you?”

Me: “Um… you mean now, as in over the phone?”

Elderly Customer: “YES!”

Me: “Um… I can’t do that. It isn’t possible. So, if you have your cash ready at the door when our delivery person arrives, you can leave your payment on the step of your door and he will leave you your change—”

Elderly Customer: *Interrupting in an angry tone* “Listen, will you, you stupid brat? I do not want to do that! I want to pay you now! So take my d*** money over the phone!”

Me: “Okay. Right. So. Like I said previously, ma’am. Your total for today is £63.46. Please go ahead and send your cash over the phone. I will wait.”

Elderly Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Elderly Customer: *Click*

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 97
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 96
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 95
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 94
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 93