Customer #1: “I would like a discount on this shirt. It’s covered in blood! This is disgusting!”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry about this! I can give you a 10% discount.”

(The customer looks through the rest of her purchase, which is also covered in blood.)

Customer #1: “There’s blood on all of these clothes! This is DISGUSTING!”

(A nearby customer notices what’s going on and chimes in.)

Customer #2: “Ma’am, your hand is bleeding.”

Customer #1: “Well… er… I don’t bleed like that!”

This story is part of the Customers-Who-Will-Die-On-Their-Hill-themed roundup!

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(I’m cleaning a table that a young couple just left and find a used tampon floating in their old drink and a pregnancy test hiding in their napkin. I turn around to see a frantic woman.)

Customer: “Where is it?!”

Me: “Uh… excuse me?”

Customer: “I left some personal things here. What happened to them?”

(I look at my tub and then back at her. She looks at my tub and then back at me, and suddenly turns pale.)

Customer: “Oh…”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: *suddenly quiet* “Do you remember what the result was?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Well, that’s just f****** great! Thanks for nothing!”

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

23 Stories About Customers Who Should Quit Smoking – For OUR Health

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(I’m a female working in a gas station and it’s close to midnight. The customer is obviously drunk, which means I can’t sell him alcohol.)

Customer: “You’re the kind of pretty thing I’m not allowed to touch.

(He proceeds to our beer cooler and takes one bottle out of a six-pack.)

Me: “Sir, I can’t sell you that for two reasons. One, you are obviously drunk and store policy says you can’t buy alcohol. Two, if you were sober it would have to be the whole six-pack or nothing.”

Customer: *stares at me for 30 seconds and then pukes on his coat*

Customer: “Am I sober enough now?”

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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(A customer claims they had found cockroaches in several pizzas we had delivered earlier. My manager tells me to go ahead and give them their money back.)

Me: “Here’s your money refunded in full, and again, we’re very sorry for this. It’s never happened before.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable! We’re never ordering from you again. You should feel ashamed!”

Me: “Again, we’re very sorry. If you could just give me the pizzas back, I’ll dispose of them for you.”

Customer: “Well… I don’t have them anymore.”

Me: “What did you do with them?”

Customer: *sheepishly* “I gave them to my kids.”

This story is part of our Yet More Dangerous Parents roundup!

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This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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Read the Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

(A woman and her three-year-old daughter leave the changing room and approach my counter. She looks to be flustered and in a hurry.)

Me: “Hi there, can I help you?”

Customer: “Just this, please.” *hands me her items*

Me: “That’s £49.96, please.”

(The woman frantically searches her bag for her purse and almost turfs the contents out onto the floor.)

Customer: “I can’t find my purse.”

Me: “It’s okay, take your time. Perhaps you left it in the changing room?”

Customer: “No, I didn’t leave anything in there! Here it is.”

(She hands me her credit card, I complete the transaction and hand her her purchases.)

Me: “Here you go. Thank you for visiting today.”

Customer: *nervous smile* “Thank you.”

(The woman walks away hastily. Just before she gets to the shop door, her daughter speaks up.)

Customer’s Daughter: “But mummy, we did leave something in the changing room!”

Customer: *starts walking quicker* “Shhh!”

Customer’s Daughter: *triumphantly* “We left my poo in there!”

(The woman grabs the child by the hand and runs out of the shop. My colleague and I run over to the changing room to see for ourselves. Sure enough, in the corner of one of the changing rooms, there is a small pile of poo. We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.)

This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup!

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Read the Grossest Customers Ever roundup!