I was at work, and I had a customer try to talk to me about religion. I tried shutting it down gently. Instead, she returned THE NEXT DAY with her granddaughter and her friend.

Group: “You need to accept Jesus into your heart!”

I was young and a lot more of a pushover than I am now, so I stuttered some excuse and hid in the back room until they left.

Now, I ain’t got time to coddle people’s feelings. “No, thanks” means “no”.

I work at a store that’s primarily known for its underwear but also has an athletic wear line that’s popular right now. The manager, keyholder, and I are in the back of the store when we hear the familiar beep of a customer entering the store.

The keyholder and I both go to the front. I greet the woman and the two girls with her and ask if they need any help. They decline, but since they’re in our sportswear section, which people frequently steal from, I just kind of hang close and straighten up some stuff in a nearby area, occasionally glancing up at them. They’re muttering under their breaths about how the items are too expensive, clearly not noticing the discount signs plastered throughout the department.

Eventually, I head to the register area. At the same time, they head over to clearance. A couple of times, I again glance over in their direction, simply because they’re the only customers in the whole store.

Woman: “I hate when people watch you while you shop. I can’t shop when people are staring at me.”

She begins stalking off.

Woman: *To the keyholder* “I hate when people stare at me while I shop.”

Keyholder: “I wasn’t staring at you, ma’am.”

Woman: “Not you, the lady behind the counter.”

After they leave, I defend myself that I wasn’t staring at them.

Keyholder: “You don’t have to explain yourself. You’re fine. I know you weren’t staring at her. People like her are just looking for something to complain about.”

She went and told the manager what happened. We all laughed it off. Most of our customers want attention and/or to be helped, but apparently, this lady did not want any of that.

I start working seasonal retail at a large store that is known to be “better” than some other retail establishments and has a fancy nickname to some people.

This particular store is located in a city that is gradually being taken over by a large, conservative Christian college, and some of the parents that come to visit their college-age children can be a lot to handle. They are pushy and entitled, and they tend to make a scene about the tiniest things.

I have naturally light brown hair and decide one day to dye my hair a darker shade of brown. I pick out a really nice cola-brown color and go home and dye my hair myself. It looks great and I absolutely love it!

When I return to work the next day, I am busily refolding the sweaters when I hear a loud, horrified gasp. I turn, thinking something is wrong, and see a short woman in a fur coat and overly-permed hair gaping at me. Standing next to her is her confused-looking daughter who attends the nearby college. I have seen this woman and her daughter before and have even served them on the registers when we get super busy. She is extremely religious but is always polite to me, telling me to have a “blessed day” at the end of our transactions.

I smile and wave, and before I can even open my mouth to greet her, she suddenly says loudly:

Customer: “She dyed her hair! She gave up her God-given hair color! She is the antichrist! She is the spawn of Satan!“

I gape at her, and her poor daughter looks like she wants to crawl under the clothing racks and die, but the mom continues:

Customer: “I rebuke you in the name of Jesus Christ, sinner! Beg for forgiveness or He shall smite you where you stand!”

I lose it. I unapologetically burst out laughing and walk away — I need to take my break anyway — and laugh my way to the break room. My coworkers ask me what’s funny.

Me: “I hope you guys don’t mind that [Store] hired the Spawn of Satan!”

I recounted the interaction with the guest. We all had a good laugh, even the store manager thought it was funny, and I didn’t get in trouble for walking away from a guest!

It’s my first day on my own at work at an infomercial store. It’s been a wild day so far.

Customer: “Do you have any religious stuff?”

Me: “Let me show you where our audio Bibles are.”

He tried to get me to talk about religion, but the only thing I told him was that my dad converted right before he died. The man bought three of the audio Bibles AND GAVE ME ONE. The reason why I’m so surprised at this is that they’re like $40 apiece! I tried to decline, but he insisted on giving me one. He bought three sets of batteries to go with them, too. He spent over $120 and basically gave me a $40 thing!

A customer is checking out using the card reader. The first screen says, “Select language.” You can’t move forward until you do this. The customer scans their card, which doesn’t work, and then they scan their card again.

Customer: “Is this thing broken?”

Me: “No, you just need to read the words on the screen first.”

The customer starts blindly tapping the machine.

Customer: *Angry* “It doesn’t work! You should reprogram it!”