Going Bananas About Pajamas

| AB, Canada | Right | January 2, 2014

(It’s December 23rd. I have never worked a Christmas at my current job.)

Me: “Hello. Are you finding everything alright?”

Customer: “Um, no. I can’t find your pajamas.”

(I’m really confused by this. We are a hardware store, and so do not and have never sold pajamas.)

Me: “Sorry. Did you say pajamas?”

Customer: “Obviously. What are you, deaf!? They are clothes that you you wear to bed. Do you understand now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pajamas.”

Customer: “Well the very nice young lady across the street said you would have the pj’s I’m looking for. I came in last week and I couldn’t find them. So I went to the [Big Clothing Store] across the street. She definitely said you were getting a shipment of purple and pink flowered pj’s today.”

Me: “Again, as I said, we don’t sell sleepwear. If you would like I can tell you another store which might have what you are looking for, or bring my manager to confirm we don’t have any pajamas.”

(The customer is very visibly upset by this, and starts yelling and cursing at me.)

Customer: “What kind of store doesn’t sell pj’s at the holidays! I am holding you personally responsible, you b****! Why dont you get your manager and tell him that!?”

(As the customer says this she knocks over a whole shelf of Christmas ornaments and other decorations.)

Customer: “I hope you have an awful Christmas!”

(The customer starts hurling more insults and horrible names as she walks out. A coworker has observed all of the proceedings.)

Coworker: “–and a happy new year!”

Customer: “F*** you too!”

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Double Price Double Standards

| IN, USA | Working | January 2, 2014

(It is my lunch break and I am doing some Christmas shopping at my store. I find a shirt for my mother that clearly has a orange sticker that says it’s $9. I go to the self check out and call my coworker over.)

Me: “This shirt come up as $12, and the tag says $9. Can you please change it?”

Coworker: “No. If it comes up as that price, then that’s how much it costs!”

Me: “But it says clearly right here—”

Coworker: “I don’t care what it is! Now, I have other stuff to do!”

(It is super slow. Right now it’s just an elderly man and me at the self check out.)

Me: “Just void out my whole order.”

Coworker: “No! You scanned it, you are going to pay for it! Don’t make me call the boss!”

(I walk away without paying and leave the stuff there for her to pick up. Later, I tell my other coworker, who is also a good friend, what happened.)

Friend: “She always thinks that she’s better than every girl who comes in! She won’t say anything to me, just watch.”

(We both go the self check out. The shirt I was going to buy my mom is still in a cart where we keep things guests don’t want. My friend grabs it and scans it, and calls my coworker over.)

Friend: “Hey! This is supposed to be $9. See the tag?”

Coworker: “Oh, of course! I will change it right away!”

(The coworker changes it for him. She turns around, sees me, and smirks. I walk over and pay for the shirt.)

Me: “Thanks, [Friend’s Name]!”

Coworker: “You are not allowed to do that!”

Me: “I just did.”

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Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

| St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Right | January 1, 2014

(It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

Me: *facepalm*

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A Triple Rainbow Of Christmas

| Wollongong, NSW, Australia | Right | January 1, 2014

(It’s the week before Christmas. We are run off our feet helping people choose gifts to buy. A customer rushes into the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I’m looking for something for someone. What do you think?”

Me: “Um… Who was it you were buying for?”

Customer: “Oh, my daughter. I think she married badly. You know what it’s like when they go and do that.”

Me: “What sort of thing were you looking for? Clothing? Jewellery?”

(The customer starts flouncing around the store picking up random items. She turns with a necklace in hand.)

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know! Just something nice. I like this! It has rainbows! I like rainbows! Do you think she’ll like it?”

Me: “I don’t know your daughter, ma’am. If you think it’s her taste, it’s on sale at the moment.”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just want something. I like rainbows!”

(She proceeds to flounce around the store picking up anything ‘rainbow.’)

Customer: “Do you think she’ll like it? I like rainbows! Rainbows might make her happy!”

Me: *aware of several other people waiting for me* “It’s a perfect choice. I think she will like it.”

Customer: “I don’t know! I just want something… something nice. I like rainbows!”

A Triple Rainbow Of Pens

Don’t Even Want To Know What A Milkshake Is

| Lafeyette, LA, USA | Right | January 1, 2014

(My store is selling goodie bags of various candies as stocking stuffers. One of the candies we use are colorful chocolate-flavored spheres a little smaller than gumballs. We use only white ones for the goodie bags. The label refers to them as ‘snowman poop,’ with a little poem about how the child it’s for has been naughty. A couple roaming the store have caught sight of the goodie bags, and the man is particularly interested in the snowman poop.)

Man: “Snowman poop? It’s normally marshmallows… He must have been constipated!”

(I double over laughing, and the man begins cheering for himself for having caused such a reaction.)

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