Resigned To Being Late

| Australia | Working | August 12, 2014

(I am transferred to a new store. It’s my first weekend supervising a shift on my own. I ring the store manager to find out where Coworker’s number is as she hasn’t turned up for her shift.)

Manager: “I don’t have her phone number on me. I’ll be home soon and will call her. My battery is about to go fl—” *disconnects*

(The coworker turns up at 9:30. At 10 the manager calls back.)

Manager “Did [Coworker] arrive?”

Me: “Yes, she got in at 9:30.”

Manager: “What was her excuse?”

Me: “That she was doing the washing and she knew we are always quiet on Saturday mornings so it didn’t matter that she was late.”

Manager: “That’s no excuse. I knew she would start doing this. She handed in her resignation last week. I can’t wait until she’s gone”.

Pajama Drama, Part 2

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Right | August 11, 2014

(I work in the lingerie section of a very well-known department store when a male customer walks in.)

Me: “Hi there. What were you looking for today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some sexy bras and underwear for my girlfriend.”

Me: “Okay, did you know her bra size?”

Customer: “Um… no.”

Me: “Well… sexy pajamas it is, then!”

 

Has No Interest In True Interest

| UT, USA | Working | August 10, 2014

(A customer and her boyfriend are checking out.)

Customer: “Looks like I’m short on change, [Boyfriend] do you have six cents?”

(The boyfriend hands six cents to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Now don’t let her forget she owes you money. And be sure to charge her, like…100% interest so by tomorrow she’ll owe you $6!”

Equally Maddening

| MO, USA | Working | August 10, 2014

(I am male. My coworker is female.)

Coworker: “Hey. What’s the maximum number of pens I can throw at you before you get mad?”

Me: “I don’t know. What’s the maximum length of time I can stare at your chest before you get mad?”

Coworker: “Touché.”

Blood Type Z-Negative

| Orange County, CA, USA | Right | August 8, 2014

(We carry liquid candy blood packs at our novelty shop. One looks like a regular blood IV bag and the other is green and is called ‘zombie blood.’ A customer comes up to the counter with a worried look and points to the zombie blood.)

Customer: “Is this REAL?”

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