I take a customer’s order and payment.

Me: “Thank you! It’s coming right up. You can either wait outside or have a seat in our waiting area.”

Customer: “No. I’d like to stand.”

Me: “That’s fine, but please do so outside or in our waiting area.”

Customer: “Oh, because I’m not allowed to stand now, either?! I am fine right here! You guys are taking this [health crisis] thing way too far! It’s ridiculous!”

Me: “This isn’t about [health crisis]. You are blocking the register, and I’m guessing the lady waiting behind you would like to order.”

Customer #2: “Yes, please.”

He got so flustered!

I work in a grocery store on the east coast of the USA. I was working behind the seafood counter, and I had a customer walk up to me. Everything seemed normal and all up until he opened his mouth. With a completely serious and straight face, he pointed at the raw shrimp we had on display (mind you, there are labels right in front of each product) and asked:

Customer: “Is this raw shrimp fully cooked?”

I was completely caught off guard because I did not expect a question so stupid. I mean, if he had thought about the question before asking it, he would have known the answer. Completely restraining myself from making a snarky reply, I answered:

Me: “No, sir, the raw shrimp is not cooked, it is raw.”

And the customer seemed a bit shocked for a moment, almost like he had never heard of raw shrimp before. I’m not exactly sure what was going on in his mind. However, then, he moved in front of our cooked shrimp display and pointed to it.

Customer: “Is this cooked shrimp fully cooked?”

And again, I was surprised he felt like he had to ask as, again, there are signs in front of each product labeling it.

Me: “Yes, the cooked shrimp is cooked.”

He proceeded to order a pound of the cooked shrimp. It was overall a bit strange. But later, it was topped when a customer asked if the lobsters in my lobster tank were already cooked.

I’m a former childcare worker. I LOVE working with kids, and that’s no secret. But today, the universe decided to test me.

I work at one of those stores where everything is pretty cheap, but there’s a really good variety of products. I am doing my business on the register when, suddenly, I hear a weird buzzy-beepy kind of noise, far off in the store. I look at my coworker on the other register, and we both make confused faces and shrug. A few minutes later, the noise is still going.

Coworker: “What is that?”

Me: “Maybe it’s the emergency exit.”

Coworker: “That’s probably it.”

She goes to check it out and comes back.

Coworker: “Yeah, someone pushed open the emergency exit door, and nobody here has the key to make it shut up.”

So, we suffer.

Cue me apologizing for the noise to every customer I have to ring up, and explaining that someone opened the emergency exit and we can’t turn it off.

Then, a family comes up to my register. This kid — young, but definitely old enough to know better — points out the noise and laughs.

Kid: “That was me! It was an accident, though.”

Mother: “He wanted to open it because he thought something was back there and wanted to go see it.”

So, therefore, it was not an accident. This is fine. No problem. I understand curiosity.

But then, this kid starts spinning the bagging station around while I’m trying to bag things, whining to his mom the whole time about how he wants to go home and she’s taking so long. I keep trying to bag things, but he won’t stop spinning it, so I just start scanning things and setting them to the side on my station instead of attempting to bag them.

Mother: “Cut it out! They’re trying to do their job!”

Kid: “I want my [toy]! And I want it now!”

Mother: “It’s probably already been bagged.”

Kid: *To me* “You’re hiding my toy from me! I want it!”

Then, he complains that some of our balloons are all the way up on the ceiling.

Kid: “Why are your balloons up there? Shouldn’t they be down lower? How will you get them down?”

Blah, blah, blah. I give him some of my classic kid banter.

Me: “Hey, if someone was really, really tall, they could just jump up and grab them!”

The kid laughed, and I felt accomplished.

He didn’t help his mom put her bags in the cart, but he left, and that’s what matters.

That was only thirty minutes into my shift, and then we had to wait for the boss to show up so we could deactivate the door.

At my bar, we smoke BBQ ribs and half-chickens in house, and it’s awesome. We only do the BBQ on Saturdays and Sundays. It says so on a giant sign in front of our bar and also on the menu.

I’m bartending on a Friday evening and this couple comes in.

Couple: “Can we have the smoked ribs and chicken, please?”

Me: “I’m so sorry, but we only have that on Saturdays and Sundays.”

Couple: “Oh, so we have to order off the regular menu, then?”

Me: “Yes, that’s all we have.”

I give them some time to look at the menu.

Right before this couple arrived, we had a party order eight dozen wings, and we’re a pretty small bar, so ninety-six wings fill our fryers up.

I go back to the couple.

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Couple: “We’ll start with a dozen Cajun wings.”

Me: “Our fryers are filled for about the next fifteen minutes, so it will be a little bit of a wait.”

These people flip out on me.

Couple: “We’re f****** going somewhere else! We will never be back! You should’ve taken our order before the big wing order! And you should have what’s on the f****** menu!”

Me: “It is listed on the menu — and on the giant f****** sign outside — that our BBQ is tomorrow and Sunday. Nothing I can do. Sorry!”

And they stormed out.

I was a server in a restaurant. A woman at a table ordered just chicken. I started listing chicken entrees, and she rudely interrupted.

Woman: “Uh, like, just plain chicken.”

So, I brought her a chicken breast. She stared at it and barked:

Woman: “What the f*** is this?!”

Me: “The chicken you ordered?”

Woman: “THIS IS NOT CHICKEN! THIS IS FISH!”

After back and forth, I realized that she had never seen chicken that wasn’t deep-fried and breaded, but no matter how I explained, she was adamant it was fish.

I brought her chicken nuggets.

Woman: “See, this is chicken!”