I used to work in a call center as tech support for a large, well-known phone carrier. This was back in the day when contracts were still a thing.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] tech support. How can I help you?”

Caller: “F*** YOU! YOU LYING SACK OF S***! YOU ARE GOING TO BUY ME A NEW PHONE!”

Oh, we are having that kind of day, are we? Okay.

I tried all the general de-escalation tactics for well over half an hour before I finally got the dude to calm down enough to actually speak with me. Believe it or not, telling him I was from Texas is what did it. After talking about how terrible the Cowboys were — I don’t even know how to play football — the customer opened up to me.

He got sugared into the store for a new phone. The guy had been way overdue for an upgrade, so the sales guy happened to sell him on the brand-new iPhone 4! But what kind of salesman stops there? No, sir. The deal isn’t done until you sell your soul. He also upheld him on EVERYTHING — the protection plan, the screen protector, phone case, EVERYTHING. This guy should receive the salesman of the year award. Do you want to know how he sold the phone case? He made it very clear how durable these cases were by telling him, “You could take a twelve-gauge to this phone case and it wouldn’t break.”

The customer took his brand-new iPhone and all his goodies and went back to the backwoods to hang out with his buddies. He then proceeded to tell me about all the beer they were drinking and how we ruined his day.

After he bragged about how strong the phone case was, his buddies called bulls***. This customer was ready to prove them wrong. He proceeded to take the shotgun out of his truck’s toolbox and show his buddies how it was done.

Needless to say, it’s pretty difficult to troubleshoot a phone that’s in thirty pieces. So, the customer was now stuck in a two-year contract, had no coverage for intentional damage under his protection plan, and had no phone.

The guy ended up escalating on me to my supervisor, who talked to him for two hours before transferring him to the store he bought it from.

PSA: Guys and gals, your phone isn’t bulletproof.

Due to health issues, I recently changed positions in my store. I am now a clerk at a small shop of the convenient kind, and I am really enjoying it. Today, though, I had the most awesome day I’ve ever had while working.

I was standing behind the register, waiting for customers to select their purchases, when a fun song came on the in-store radio. I started dancing to it. Right then, a lady came in.

Customer: “You keep dancing, girl!”

Me: “Thanks, I will! Sometimes you gotta make your own fun at work.”

When she got to the register, we chatted a bit.

Customer: “It’s so nice to see you smiling. It makes other people want to smile, too.”

Me: “The way I see it, there’s enough pain and misery in the world without adding to it. I’d rather put some happy out there!”

Customer: “That’s a great attitude.” *Smiles*

Me: “I love that necklace you’re wearing. Is that mother of pearl?”

Customer: “No, they’re coin pearls.”

Me: “That’s cool! They’re so pretty.”

She paid for her purchase and left. I turned around to stock some items behind the counter. A few seconds later, I heard a small clatter behind me. When I turned around, I saw that the woman had put her necklace on the counter.

Customer: “That’s for you.”

Me: *Wide-eyed* “Are— Are you sure?! That’s so kind!”

She nodded, smiled, and headed for the door.

Me: “Hold it!” *Points at her* “You need a hug!”

Customer: *Still smiling* “I probably do.”

With the necklace in my hand, I rushed around the counter and gave her a huge hug.

Me: “This is so amazing! You’ve just made my day.”

She left, and I immediately put the necklace on. It is now my happy necklace, and I get a little teary every time I touch it. That lady may never know just how much her gift means to me, but karma owes her big.

I work in an auto shop and recently became a manager there. My boss warned me that the higher you go in retail, the harder it gets to deal with customers. I thought he was joking because I’ve had pretty chill and downright friendly customers for the majority of my time working there.

But this one customer actually makes my blood boil. I’m not a violent or angry person by any means, but he really tests my patience.

First, he walks into the store and shows me the product he needs on his phone. He has already visited the website, so he already knows what he is looking for.

All right, cool. This’ll be a quick transaction. I get the product for him and go to my register. As I’m about to scan it, he hits me with this.

Customer: “I’d like to use this code.”

He shows me an online code on his phone. I stare at him.

Me: “Are you planning to buy the product online?”

Customer: “No, I want to use the code in here.”

Me: “I can’t use that code. You can only use it online.”

Customer: “But it’s your store. It’s the same thing; it’s your website.”

Me: “I’m aware that the website and our store have the same name, but we have no control over whatever happens online.”

Customer: “Where’s the manager?”

I’m giddy on the inside to finally be able to use this line.

Me: “I am the manager. And I’m telling you that this code is not going to work in the store.”

Customer: “Why can’t you just honor it?”

Me: “Honor what? There’s nothing to honor, because this is an online code, and you are currently in the store. In-store purchases and online purchases are completely separate things. It’s not going to work.”

Customer: “I didn’t see you type it in.”

Never taking my eyes off him, I proceed to type in the code and move the monitor so he can see it. I hit enter and nothing happens

Customer: *Pauses* “Well, something’s wrong with your computers, because the other stores have done this for me.”

Me: *Almost losing my temper* “There’s no way our other stores have done this. The code is supposed to be used online, so if they were to type in the computer at the store, they would’ve gotten the same result as me. Nothing.”

The customer makes a big huff and finally goes into his email to pull up a coupon that can be used in the store.

Customer: “I’ll be calling corporate about this.”

Me: “You do that.”

I relayed the entire interaction with this guy to my boss, and he laughed his a** off, and even his boss lost it when he told him.

I’m all good now, but man, that customer was not listening to a word I said.

I work as a cashier. This occurred when I was on self-checkout. It was fairly busy, and I was by myself for a bit running around trying to help everyone. We usually have two people, but my coworker was out. One lady caught my attention to let me know that the older woman next to her needed my help.

Sometimes we get people who don’t know how to use the self-scan, and I have no qualms about helping teach them how to use it. When I got over to this older woman, she was freaking out and talking at 100 miles an hour.

Customer: “I’m from the city and I don’t have time to learn this. Can you just do this for me?”

Immediately, I knew that this woman was going to be a handful and cause problems if I made the wrong move, so I just agreed to help her scan her items. Luckily, at this point, a coworker had come over to help other people while I helped this lady.

Once I started to scan her things, she was very happy. She started talking at me, and I half-listened as I scanned all her items for her. I caught a few things, like how I was the greatest and how she loved me. She was just showering me in praises, and she also started talking about her life and family. That all didn’t last too long when I hit a snag.

The next thing I knew, I looked up at the screen and it was telling me to insert the coupon into the slot. This prevented me from scanning more items. I didn’t know how it happened, but I knew what to do. We have a piece of cardboard we use to push down coupons when the slot gets full to get past the sensor.

Me: “Ma’am, I need to get something to fix this issue with, because I can’t scan anything else until I do. I’ll be right back.”

Immediately, like flipping a switch, she started freaking out again.

Customer: “You’re leaving me? So, what, you’re going to be gone for like five hours? You’re abandoning me!”

Me: “I promise I’ll be back in, like, two seconds.”

That seemed to placate her, so I rushed to get the cardboard and went back.

Once I was back, she fell right back into how she was earlier — praising me and telling me about her life. I was once again half-listening as I was working when she told me she didn’t want to buy some bread she had in her cart.

Me: “Okay. I’ll go put it in the cart for unwanted items, and I’ll be right back.”

Once again, she freaked out that I was abandoning her. I quickly put the bread away and came back to her once again flipping the switch and being all friendly and nice again. This time, I remember her talking to me about celebrities and how they all have diseases. She also mentioned Bill Gates’ divorce and how she hoped I’d meet him and marry him.

I finally finished up helping her, and she thanked me and left. I was EXHAUSTED. Part of me was also feeling like I had just been played; there was no way someone like that could actually exist in real life. Whether real or a joke, I’m just glad I haven’t seen her since.

I worked at a small community bank for a time as a banker, opening and closing accounts, completing paperwork, etc. This occurred shortly after we opened our doors again after health crisis lockdowns.

An older gentleman came in on a random Monday and asked to speak with a banker. I was available, and I invited him into my office. Once inside, he related that he and his wife were going through a divorce.

Customer: “My wife has full control over the finances to the point where I don’t even have a checkbook or debit card for the accounts, even though one of the accounts is solely funded by my pension checks. I’m here to check if [Wife] has been writing checks off of the account. I have a copy of a legal document she signed stating that she would only be writing checks off of the account for necessities up until [date], three weeks ago.”

After ascertaining that he was who he said he was (i.e., checking his ID), I pulled up the account in question. Since [Wife] only had checks for the account, we could track and view a photocopy of each check written that had been cashed. We discovered that she had not only continued to spend past the date she was supposed to stop, but she had also been writing checks for non-essentials (also a no-no).

Customer: “I was suspicious that this might happen. When we started the divorce process, she took half the money out of that account and was forced to put it back. What can I do to ensure that she can’t touch my money?”

Me: “Since she has the checkbook for the account, taking her off of the account won’t guarantee that she can’t touch it. The only option would be for you to close this account and open a new account with only you on it.”

He decided that he wanted that, so we did just that.

After he left, I continued on my day, updating my supervisor on the situation due to how strange everything was.

A few hours later, the man’s wife, whom I’d never met before, stormed in and demanded to speak with a supervisor.

My boss took her into her office, and I was told later that [Wife] demanded that I be fired because I was talking badly about her — a lie — and that I closed her checking account without calling her to get her consent. My manager explained to her that our policy with joint accounts is that either party on the account can close the account without the other party’s consent. She also assured [Wife] that I would never talk badly about anyone, especially someone I have never met. Mind you, my boss’s office is next to mine, with extremely thin walls, so she would have been able to hear if I was talking badly about anyone.

[Wife] ended up storming out angrily after giving me the stink eye.

It turned out that [Customer] called me right before his wife showed up, and he left me a voicemail warning that she was coming. I wasn’t in my office at the time and didn’t get the voicemail until after she had left.