(A customer has come to me asking if I can find an item for her. I take her to where the stock is. I take an item off the hook to show her, but because the stock in that area is tightly packed, I knock a few small items off neighboring hooks. As I reach down to pick them up, I notice that her bag is on the shelf right underneath and is open.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve knocked some items down; would you mind checking to see if any have fallen into your bag?”

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF STEALING!”

Me: “I wasn’t accusing you; I was the one who may have knocked something into it. I was just asking if you would check!”

Customer: “I’VE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN ALL OF MY LIFE, BEING ACCUSED OF BEING A THIEF!” *flings the item at me and storms off*

Me: “I honestly didn’t accuse you of being a thief; I’m sorry if you thought so.”

(She turned the corner abruptly, knocking one of the items I dropped out of a fold in her bag.)

(I am having lunch with a few of my fellow students at a local college. I am the youngest, at 21, while the others range from their 20s to their 50s. The discussion turns to vacations.)

Woman #1: “I can’t wait until the kids are older so that [Husband] and I can finally start taking romantic getaways or do a big overseas vacation.”

(Her kids are in their early teens.)

Woman #2: “Why not just go now?”

(Her kids are grown with their own children.)

Woman #1: “I don’t feel right about leaving my kids with anyone, and we can’t afford to take everyone.”

Woman #2: “That’s ridiculous. When my kids were young and I felt I needed a break, I just had them put into foster care.”  

Woman #1: “You did what?!”

Woman #2: “Put them in foster care. I could do whatever I wanted while they were there.”

(We are all stunned by her nonchalance at doing this to her daughters. She’s always complaining about them and their lives. A few weeks later, she is now complaining about the treatment she is getting from her kids. She complains that they don’t involve her in much of their family lives and that it’s disgusting how they treat her because all she got for Mother’s Day was a phone call; they live on the other side of the country.)

Woman #1: *To me, later* “She’s lucky she even got a phone call; if I was her daughter I would lose her number and change mine.”

This story is part of the Mother’s Day 2023 roundup!

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(We have rented a four bedroom house, but I have found that a couple of the rooms have a damp problem, so I have put my five-year-old daughter and two-year-old son into the same bedroom. I am discussing how damp the rooms are with a couple of the mothers at the school.)

Me: “I’ve had to put the kids into the same bedroom, because it’s the only dry room”

Mother #1: “You have a boy and girl don’t you?”

Me: “Yes, [Daughter] and [Son].”

Mother #1: “That’s disgusting.”

Me: “What is?”

Mother #1: “Putting a girl and boy in the same bedroom, it’s disgusting.”

Mother #2: “What’s so disgusting about it?”

Mother #1: “It’s not natural, they could do things.”

Me: “They are two and five years old. There’s nothing wrong with it; they aren’t going to do anything.”

Mother #1: “You are just encouraging incest. You’re disgusting; I don’t want to be around you.” *walks off, leaving the other mother and I just staring after her, stunned*

Mother #2: “I’m glad I didn’t mention that my daughter always jumps in the bath with my sons.”

Me: “Me, too.”

(I’m at my friend’s house with her and her three kids: a girl, six, and two boys, five and three, when her daughter comes and tells us the following.)

Daughter: “[Youngest Son] pulled his pull-up nappy and pants down.”

Friend: “So? As long as he pulled them back up.”

Daughter: “[Oldest Son] was going to kiss his butt and that’s how you have s-e-x!”

(We both cracked up and I left it for her to explain why we couldn’t stop laughing.)

(I’ve found a mobile phone in the car park of a major shopping centre. I look through the contacts and find one named “Dad”.)

Me: “Hi, I’m just letting you know that I’ve found one of your kids’ mobile phones.”

Father: “How do you know it’s my kid’s phone?”

Me: “This number was under ‘Dad’ in the contacts.”

Father: “Oh, okay, so what do you want me for?”

Me: “I just wanted to tell you that I’m handing the phone into the centre management of [Major Shopping Centre].”

Father: “Never heard of it.”

Me: “It’s in [Suburb].”

Father: “What would my kids be there for? Are you sure it’s their phone?”

Me: “Uh, yes, unless someone else has put your number under ‘Dad’ on their phone.”

Father: “I don’t understand what you want. My kid would never go there.”

Me: “I’m letting you know where the phone is so someone knows and it can be picked up.”

Father: “I don’t understand how you think it’s one of my kid’s phones.”

Me: “I’ve already told you, why not just ask them if they’ve lost one?”

Father: *getting angry at me* “But which kid, can’t you tell me?”

Me: “You know what? I’m telling you where the phone is going to be and am done with this. You can pick it up or not, I don’t care.” *hangs up*