(I asked my wife the question. I was raised in the South and went hunting a lot.)

Me: “What would you do if I was bitten by a zombie?”

Wife: “Logically, I’d shoot you. But in reality I have no idea.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure I’d shoot you, but I’m better with guns than you are.”

Wife: “This is true. Eh, we’re together enough that we’d probably be bitten at the same time, anyway.”

Me: “Fair enough.”

Related:
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 70
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 69
Until Undeath Do Us Part, Part 68

(A little kid understands horns, but he can’t understand how antlers fall off then grow back.)

Little Boy: “So, the animal dies, then the antlers fall off?”

Me: “No, they fall off, and then a new pair grows while the animal is still alive.”

Little Boy: “But the animal dies?”

Me: *getting frustrated* “No. It’s like losing a tooth. You lose one, and a new one grows in, but this happens to some animals once a year.”

Little Boy: “But the tooth fairy makes me lose my teeth.”

Me: “Well, the antler fairy makes them lose theirs.”

Little Boy: “And then she takes them, right?”

Me: “Yeah!”

Little Boy: “But how did you get that one?” *pointing at the antler*

Me: “Well, the antler fairy brings them to zoos so we can tell people about them.”

Little Boy: “But what about Santa?”

Me: *confused* “Santa?”

Little Boy: “Yeah, doesn’t he like to keep the antlers?”

Me: “He keeps some, but the rest he gives to the antler fairy.”

Little Boy: “Ohhhhhhhh.”

(This happens to a coworker of mine. They are standing in front of the wolf pen:)

Zoo Visitor: “Are the wolf eggs poisonous?”

Me: *hands cashier a $20 bill*

Cashier: “Please answer the questions on the screen.”

Me: *pressed button for $20 cash back*

Cashier: *dumbfounded look*

(I had gotten $20 from a group to buy a birthday gift for our friend. I used the $20 to buy the gift, but then realized I needed $20 later to buy other things!)

Customer: “Four tickets.”

Me: “Which movie?”

Customer: *speaking slowly and loudly* “Fooouuur tickets.”

(We go around like this a couple more times until I finally get the movie title.)

Me: “Would you like the regular or 3D showing?”

Customer: “Four tickets.”