My husband and I wanted to switch wireless providers. We have already talked with an agent online, had a quote and package all set up, and reserved the phones we wanted for our upgrades. We arrive ten minutes ahead of our appointment, so we browse the store. When our appointment time comes, we approach the only available representative.

Me: “Hello. We have an appointment to set up a new phone plan.”

The representative glances at us but says nothing. My husband and I look at each other.

Husband: “Do we talk to you or is there a specific person?”

Representative: “No.”

Husband: “Uhh, no, we don’t talk to you or no, there’s no specific person?”

Representative: “Try the kiosk in the mall.”

Me: “No, we have an appointment here.”

I show him the confirmation email.

Me: “See?”

Representative: “Sometimes the online system doesn’t work right. You don’t have an appointment but I can squeeze you in now.”

Husband: *To me* “That seems odd.”

Representative: *Sighs* “Look, man, I’m just going by the computer. What are you trying to do, upgrade?”

Who calls customers “man”?

Me: “We want to open an account and upgrade our phones. We’re currently with [Other Provider]. We have a—”

Representative: “Okay. I need you to fill out this information. Is your husband in charge?”

Husband: “The account will be in my name, yes.” 

Me: “We have a quote from [Employee] on your website. It’s $30 a line per month.”

Representative: “I don’t think we can do that.”

Me: “I have screenshots of our conversation.”

Representative: *Shrugs* “Sometimes the robots are wrong.”

Husband: “It’s also on the sign in the window.”

Representative: *Glances at the sign* “Okay, we’ll try it.”

He collects our basic info. We are silent for a moment while he clicks around. 

Representative: “All right, so, I don’t know who you talked to, but we can’t do $30 a month.”

Me: “Why?”

Representative: “So, see, it’s like this. If you’re upgrading and your phone is, say, $500. You’re trading in a phone that is $100. That’s $400 per phone, spaced out over the contract, so you’re paying more than $30.”

Husband: “That’s not right.”

Representative: “Yeah, it’s called leasing so you don’t have to pay everything up front.”

Me: “Maybe I wasn’t clear. We’re buying the phones outright.”

Representative: “Right, so you buy it today with your activation and then you make little payments every month.”

Me: “Why? We’re not leasing the phones. We want to pay for them in full.”

Representative: *Speaking slowly* “Okay, listen to what I’m saying. You can’t—”

Husband: *Puts his hand up* “No. Get your boss.”

The representative throws his pen down on the desk and walks into the back room. My husband and I stand there for a few minutes before someone else approaches us. Her nametag has the word “MANAGER” on it, so we assume the first representative went to get her.

Manager: “Hi, I’m [Manager]. Are you being helped?”

Me: “We’re actually waiting to speak with a manager. [Representative] was here but he left a few minutes ago when we said we wanted his boss.”

Manager: “Oh, I’m the manager on duty. [Representative] actually went to lunch. How can I help?”

We are quite upset to learn that the first representative just left like that. We tell the manager what happened and she listens, her face getting more serious as we go on. 

Manager: “I am very sorry about that. I will have a word with [Representative]. In the meantime, please let me try to make this right for you. I can certainly set up an account using the quote you brought with you. I encourage you to fill out the customer satisfaction survey offered at the bottom of your receipt.”

The manager set us up without a single issue. A week later, my husband and I were walking around the mall and saw the first representative working at a kiosk for another cell phone provider. He glared at us as we walked by.

My friend works as a carpenter. He builds patios for people and cuts everything on site. A customer insists on making conversation as my friend is cutting the wood. My friend responds occasionally to be polite but hopes the client takes the hint because he really shouldn’t be distracted.

Finally, my friend looks at the client as he’s addressing him and accidentally saws off the tip of his index finger. He shuts off the saw, still in shock. Both my friend and client stand still in shock for a minute or two.

Client: “Uh… Do you need a bandaid?”

Friend: “No… I need you to call the ambulance.”

Client: *After a minute* “Okay! I think I have a bandaid in the house!”

Friend: “Call. The. Ambulance!”

Client: “I’ll get you a bandaid!”

The client ran back into the house. My friend ended up calling for an ambulance himself. Luckily, they managed to save the finger and reattach it. He’s now a chef and runs his own restaurant.

I got laid off from my job a few years ago but got a generous severance package that allowed me to be picky about job offers. Unfortunately, some of my job prospects were with contract agencies, which can be really flaky about keeping in touch. After a job interview:

Recruiter: “Okay, you are a really strong candidate for this job and I think the client will love you. We’ll be in touch within a week.”

Me: “Great, can’t wait to hear from you.”

A week goes by without contact. Even though the job sounded like a sweet gig, I don’t sweat it as I’m fielding several job interviews a day while my old company is essentially paying me to sit on the couch.

Recruiter: “Hey, looks like they decided to go with someone else. But I’ve got another client interested in interviewing you. Are you available this afternoon?”

I’m currently on my way to the other side of the state for another job interview.

Me: “Today’s not a good day. But I can interview tomorrow. Call me when you have a time arranged.” 

Surprise. No call. I eventually find a new job and am getting settled in my new office when the same contract agency calls.

Recruiter: “Hey, the person we sent them fell through and the client wants someone else. When can you start with them?”

Me: “Uh, I just started a new job.”

Recruiter: “Oh, congratulations! Who with?”

Me: “[Company].”

Recruiter: “And how long is the job assignment?”

Me: “As long as I want.” 

Recruiter: “But what agency placed you there?”

Me: “No one did. It’s a permanent hire.”

Recruiter: *Disappointed* “Oh. Wouldn’t you rather work for [Client Company]? It’s a good contract.” 

Me: “To be honest, you kind of flaked on me twice already. I did warn you that I was entertaining several offers during our first interview and wasn’t going to wait on [Client Company] if I got a better offer.” 

Recruiter: “So, you aren’t interested?”

Me: “Nope.”

A few months later.

Recruiter: “Hey, are you in the market for another job again? [Client Company] really wants to interview you and they’re kind of desperate to fill that position.”

I blocked their number after that.

In the tearoom, it’s a common policy to take off your shoes and put them in the shoe locker. First-time visitors usually don’t know this so we ask them to do it. But when it’s too busy we sometimes miss them. This is one of the very busy days.

Customer: “Hey, I want a shisha.”

Coworker: “Okay. Oh, can I ask you to take off your shoes and put them in the locker, please?”

Customer: “Why? I will put them next to my table.”

Coworker: “Please put them in the locker.”

Customer: “Why? I want my shisha.”

Coworker: “Because they would be in the way. I could trip over them and hurt myself or someone else.”

Customer: “I don’t care. I want my shisha!“

I was speechless. In the end, one of his friends did it for him.

Some days I worry about the course of our society.

I call a company for tech support on their product, as I’ve been having issues that I just can’t solve myself.

After the customary wait, and after sorting through a million phone choices designed to weed out those too inept or not stubborn enough to get a live person, I finally get someone to talk to.

Information is exchanged: name, date, rank, and serial number, status of the first born child, third moon of Jupiter’s equinox date. You know, the standard “tech support opening questions.”

Finally, what feels like a half-hour after starting the call, the tech support worker finally asks, “What is the problem?” and I explain it. Basically, I’m asking how to reboot a device.

The tech support on the other end pauses for a minute, hmms, and haas. Finally, I get this beauty of a comment.

“I’m sorry, you can’t do that. Nope, no way to do it. It’s impossible. Would you like me to look it up for you to find out if it can be done?”

No. No, I don’t want you to look it up. I called you, spent all this time trying to talk to you… No, I don’t want you to look it up. I’ll just sit here and talk to you for the charm of your personality, Mr. Tech Support Guy.

A quick transfer to someone higher up the chain and my problem is fixed, in less time than it took for tier one to ask me if “I wanted him to look up my issue.”