(I’m a greenskeeper on a golf course and am doing some work on a green, moving the hole. I pull the pin (flag) out, which is the universal symbol for “the green is closed; don’t shoot.” As I’m doing my work, this happens…)
Member: “Fore on the green! Fore on the green!”
(I look up to see blue sky and a little white speck flying at me. I turn my back and the golf ball hits me square in my one good kidney. I drop like a bag of potatoes, and the member casually strolls up to the green.)
Member: “Are you okay?”
Me: “No, I need to get to a hospital. It hit my good kidney.”
Member: “What the h*** were you doing on the green? You’re not supp–”
Me: “Did you just hear me? I need an ambulance!”
Member: “Don’t interrupt me, you little a**-hole! Now move so I can putt!”
(I grab my radio and get my superintendent, who rushes out in his cart on the phone with 911. After he hangs up, he turns to the member.)
Superintendent: “Didn’t you see the pin was down?! You could have killed him!
Member: “He shouldn’t be on the green during play! It’s his own fault!”
(They continue arguing for a few moments until the ambulance shows up. As the EMT is getting me on a stretcher, she asks the member…)
EMT: “If the pin was down, what were you aiming for?”
Member: “Him.”
Superintendent: “You aimed… for him?”
Member: “I figured he’d be close to the hole. I mean… the pin was down! I had to aim for something!”
Superintendent: “You’re a f****** idiot!”
(I found out later that the member was kicked out of the country club, and his $50,000 initiation fee, as well as his $15,000 yearly dues, were not refunded.)
This story is part of our Golf roundup!
Read the next Golf roundup story!
Read the Golf roundup!
