Champagne And Pregnant?

| Cotswolds, England, UK | Right | September 14, 2016

(I work as a barmaid at a private golf course. Most of our clientele are elderly gentlemen with absolutely impeccable manners and it’s a lovely place, but there are some younger members of the club who are in this particular day. It’s one of our semi-annual ‘bring your family along’ events and we have a lot of people’s grandchildren and such around but it’s all well-run and behaved. Until…)

Woman: *twenty-something* “Give me a champagne.”

Me: “Certainly, which one would you prefer? We have Moet and Chandon, Bollinger—”

Woman: “—just anything. Whatever.”

(I pour out a glass of our usual standard and place it on the bar in front of her.)

Me: “Here you are, ma’am. Will there be anything else?”

Woman: “Took your f****** time didn’t you?”

Me: “I am not certain what you mean. You asked for this drink and I poured it for you. Is there a way we could have done this faster?”

Woman: “You’re not here to question me. My husband makes more in a month that you’ll see in your lifetime.”

Me: “Will there be anything else?”

Woman: “No.”

(She starts to walk off but turns around, puts the glass on the bar, leans over, and smacks me across the face.)

Woman: “Learn. Your. Place.”

(I kept working, but, even though my manager saw all this happening, she did nothing. I was later told that the woman in question was ‘expecting a baby’ and therefore we should ‘expect a bit of irrational behavior.’ We’ve not seen her again, though.)

Reached His Tee Total

| Akron, NY, USA | Right | April 22, 2016

(I am working as a ranger on a busy Sunday. All of the tee times are taken for the entire day. Even though the course is full, the pace of play is still at four hours because the course uses ten-minute tee times. As I come up to the eleventh tee, a customer is practice swinging his driver while waiting for the group in front of him move to the green. The customer walks over to me.)

Customer: “I want to play through the group ahead of us.”

Me: *politely* “I am sorry, sir, but that is not an option. The course is full and there is no group that is out of position.”

Customer: “I know the owner of the course and he would let my group play through.”

Me: “I know the owner quite well myself, and your group will not be able to play through.”

(He turns his back to me and starts swearing every swear word known to man. His swearing does not bother me because he’s not directing his comments to me. His three other playing partners never say a word to me and look content drinking a cold beverage while waiting their turn. All of a sudden, he quickly turns around and starts walking towards me in a fast pace with his driver in his hand. He has a crazy look in his eyes as he approaches and I prepare myself for an angry confrontation.)

Customer: *screaming* “I have a date today and if I am late for my date, I am going to have my girlfriend call you to yell at you!”

Me: *without hesitation* “Is your girlfriend hot? If she is, I will give you my number. Have her call me.”

(The three men on the carts busted up laughing. The man with the golf club never said another word for the rest of the day.)

1 Thumbs
1,373
VOTES

Their Relationship Is Up To Par

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Romantic | September 18, 2014

(My boyfriend takes up golf and keeps asking me to go with him and his friends. I agree one day. There are four of us: husband teams up with Friend #2, his normal golfing mate, while I am teamed with a never-played-before friend. They go ahead of us so we won’t ‘hold them back.’)

Friend #1: *by the end of the second hole* “I’ve had enough of this; I’ll be at the clubhouse.” *takes his clubs and leaves*

(I play through the next couple of holes and catch up to my boyfriend and Friend #2. They are at the bottom of a hill.)

Me: “[Friend #1] is in the clubhouse.”

Friend #2: “We are having trouble getting up this hill. We keep hitting the ball into the bushes.”

(My boyfriend is in the bushes looking for his ball. I tee up my ball.)

Boyfriend: “This has to be worth a laugh. If we can’t get the ball up there, there’s no way you can.”

(I swung and the ball flew straight up the middle of the hill, landing near the green. Both were opened mouthed. Almost right away they decided it was too hot to play so we all headed to the clubhouse. It was the last time I was ever invited golfing.)

Really Tee’d Off Over Closing Time

, | UK | Right | September 1, 2014

(I work in a bar at my local golf club. We have closed at 7 pm for years now. I’ve just collected the last glasses and pulled the shutters down over the bar apart from the one which allows me to get in and out. I’m in the middle of cashing down the day’s takings.)

Customer: *at 7:30* “Are you open?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “No, sir. We closed about half an hour ago and I’m just finishing the last of my tasks behind the bar.”

Customer: “Well, you should be open for people like me who like to be the last to tee off on the course in the day!” *walks off in a huff*

Crazy Golf

| WA, Australia | Right | December 3, 2013

(To pay for university costs, I work for a small, government run golf course as a cashier. A customer in his forties enters the store.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Golf Course]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’d like to play nine holes on the course with buggy hire. Thanks.”

Me: “Alright. Your total comes to $30. Will you be paying in cash or by card?”

Customer: “Actually, I was hoping I could give you this instead?”

(The customer slides a bottle of unmarked, white liquid across the table and looks at me grinning.)

Me: “Uh… sir. I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “Oh, I make my own perfume in my bathtub! How about this bottle for my course fees?”

Me: “Sir, I must insist that you pay with currency. Perfume is not legal tender and I not be able to balance my till otherwise.”

(The customer takes the bottle back hastily, looking as if I’d just insulted his mother.)

Customer: “You don’t want my perfume? What kind of golf course is this!?”

1 Thumbs
1,286
VOTES
Page 1/3123
Next »