(My coworker has just asked me to find out the status of a shipment. We’re both in our early 20s.)
Me: “The shipment is in Portland.”
Coworker: “You mean like Portland, Seattle?”
Me: “No, Portland, Oregon. Seattle is in Washington.”
Coworker: “So, it goes Washington, Oregon?”
Me: “Oregon is south of Washington, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Coworker: “South…” *pauses to think* “…you mean down?”
Customer: “I’ve never taken a cruise before, but I really want to try one.”
Me: “I’d be happy to help you plan your first cruise. Where would you like to visit?”
Customer: “I’m thinking a short, roundtrip, tropical cruise, to either the Bahamas or the Caribbean.”
Me: “Sounds great! We offer a wide variety of roundtrip Bahamas and Caribbean cruises. Which departure port do you have in mind?”
Customer: “Vancouver.”
(I’m Australian and have an accent.)
Coworker: “You sound funny. Where are you from? Boston?”
Me: “Australia.”
Coworker: “Really? You still live there?”
(I think my coworker is just trying to be funny, so I play along.)
Me: “Yup! It’s such a long drive for work every day.”
Coworker: “Oh my God, I bet! What time do you have to leave home to get here on time?”
(I still carry on with the joke, but I’m starting to suspect she may actually be serious.)
Me: “Oh, it’s not too bad. Only takes a couple of hours.”
Coworker: “How awesome! You SO have to have a barbecue one day! I have always wanted to go to Australia!” *walks off*
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(I am walking out of a discount retail store and overhear a conversation between a customer and an employee.)
Customer: “I go to Mexico to get all my prescriptions.”
Employee: “I go to Mexico to avoid radiation.”
Customer: “What?”
Employee: “Yeah, all the ‘nookyooler’ reactors are in the northern hemisphere, so I go down there.”
(At this point, I can’t help but speak up.)
Me: “You know, Mexico is in the northern hemisphere.”
Employee: “Really? It is?”
Me: “Yes. You have to go all the way down to like Ecuador to get to the southern hemisphere.”
Employee: “Well, I guess I have radiation poisoning then!”
Customer: “I just go there to get prescriptions…”
(I have just returned to work after going on vacation in West Virginia. My coworker is a senior in high school.)
Coworker: “So, did you need to get a passport when you left?”
Me: “Why would I need a passport? I was still in the States.”
Coworker: “West Virginia is in a different country, right?”
Me: “Uh, no. It’s in the US. What exactly do you think the US consists of?”
Coworker: “Canada, California, and Mexico?”
