Just Give Him A Triffid And Let Nature Take Its Course

, , , , | Right | August 19, 2019

(I’ve been asked this question so many times. Customers often walk into the greenhouse looking lost. I ask if I can help them find anything.)

Customer: “Do you have any plants that don’t need a lot of water, can live in complete shade, and won’t die?”

Me: “A plastic plant.”

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Trying To Plant A Seed Of Doubt

, , , | Right | July 15, 2019

Customer: “No! You’re not ripping me off! The sign said that this hydrangea was $19.99, not $25.99! What kind of scam are you trying to pull?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the computer said—“

Customer: “I don’t care! Fix it now! This always happens to me!”

Me: “Can you show me where the sign is?”

(I angrily follow him to the pots of hydrangeas. There is a sign stuck in the pot for $19.99.)

Me: “Well, sir, this is for a two-gallon plant, and the one you bought is three-and-a-half gallons.”

Customer: “And you expect your customers to know the difference?”

Me: “No, sir, but I do expect them to know the difference between a hydrangea and a gardenia.”

Customer: “Can I have it marked down anyway?”

Me: “No, sir.”

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The Strangest Story Ever Toad

, , , , , | Friendly | July 6, 2019

(This story is told to me by my husband who works in a greenhouse. He went into work this morning around five am. On his way to the greenhouse, he saw something in the path. Thinking it was a rock, he kicked it. It turns out it was two toads mating. The one toad followed him into the greenhouse, croaking at him loudly while the other came in and changed color. He put gloves on and chased the two of them all over the greenhouse. When he picked them up, they peed on him. Finally, he took them out back and let them go. Later, he was telling his coworker about this. His coworker’s response?)

Coworker: “Did you at least offer them a cigarette?”

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For The First Time Ever, I’m Looking Forward To Monday

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2019

Several years ago, I was working in a garden center. We got our Easter lilies in the week of Easter. By Saturday, we still had some left. A lady came in and asked to see them. I took her to them and she seemed happy with how they looked. I asked her how many she would like and she replied that she would come back Monday when they would be half price.

At the end of the day, the owner came out of the office to leave. He saw that we only had a dozen or so left and told us to each take one, and an extra if we had someone to give one to. We ended up taking all that was left. I was glad to be there Monday to see the woman’s face when we had no half-price Easter lilies.

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Unfiltered Story #149686

, , | Unfiltered | May 11, 2019

(I work at a small business plant nursery as a cashier. Some of our customers tend to be not very knowledgeable when it comes to the plants they are searching for.)

*An elderly woman comes in*
Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store name]. How can we help you today?”

Customer: “Do you have any plants? My husband loves plants.”

*salesperson nearby hears this and gets a panicked look in her eyes*

Me: “Why, yes! We do! [Salesperson] here would be happy to show you all the plants we have and help you pick something out!”

*[Salesperson] gives me a death stare as sweet old lady goes up to her and start talking*

I then watched as my fellow employee had to show this lady every plant in the store for over an hour and help her find a suitable plant for a gift.

That salesperson has now quit.