She’ll Be Back In No Thyme

I am eighteen and have recently started a job at a garden store, and since I go in knowing almost nothing, I have to look up a few answers for customers.

Customer: “Excuse me? Can I have some help real quick?”

Me: “Of course! What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need a good groundcover that can take mostly shade. It’s going under a large tree in my backyard, and it needs to be able to take lots of water.”

Me: “Okay, I have a few options in mind. Will they be in the ground or in containers?”

Customer: “They’ll be in the ground. I just don’t want the dirt showing under the tree.”

Me: “Okay! Here are a few options right here that love shade.”

As I am talking to her about the limited options she has, she wanders off farther down the table, where our more sunny groundcover is.

Customer: “What about this right here? This has pretty flowers on it and looks like it spreads nicely. What is this right here?”

Me: “That’s creeping thyme.”

Customer: “Will this do well in the area I want it?”

Me: “Let me double-check just to make sure.”

I pull out my phone — we’re all allowed to do this for this exact purpose — and look up the sun and watering needs for this creeping thyme. From what I find, this is the complete OPPOSITE of what she wants! Creeping thyme likes full sun and it’s drought-resistant.

Me: “Oh, it looks like that’s not a good one to go with. From what I’m seeing here, creeping thyme likes lots of sun and it does not like water.”

Customer: “But I like it, though. I’ll make it work.”

Me: “If you have another area you’d like to put this in, then that’d be great! But the area you described to me would not be suitable for this plant.”

Customer: *In a condescending tone. “No, no, it’s okay, it’ll work. It’ll be okay. I like this, so I’ll take it and plant it there and it’ll do just fine.”

Me: “No, ma’am, the thyme will die in that area because it’ll be overwatered.”

Customer: “You can’t overwater plants, dear. That’s not a thing.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you can, and it’s really easy to do since most don’t realize they’re overwatering until it’s too late.”

Customer: “Well, this will not be overwatered, and it’ll all be okay.”

She puts the flat of creeping thyme in her cart, which is $22.50.

Customer: “It’ll be okay, dear; I’ve been gardening for many years.” *Looks me up and down* “I can tell you just got out of school, so it’s okay.”

Me: *Now taken aback and laughing a bit in shock* “Uh, no, ma’am.”

Customer: *In a knowing tone, looking me up and down again* “Okay. Well, I’ll plant this in my yard, and it’ll all be okay.”

The woman then walked away, leaving me at the groundcover, deeply unnerved. To most people, these plants are just that, plants, and they are replaceable. But to me and my coworkers, we do care deeply about these plants and want to ensure they’re well taken care of.

I did tell my managers about this woman, and since she bought a flat of creeping thyme, she cannot return or exchange it, so really, she washed $22.50 down the drain.