I work as a Regional Sales Manager for a pretty major consumer/industrial electronics manufacturer. I specifically work with a lot of the national retail channels, and I will do meetings with a lot of each retailer’s leadership and directors in-store to discuss product sales, supply chain projections, product marketing, and other various metrics. I also have in-store brand ambassadors who represent our product lineup specifically in [Electronics Chain] locations.

For starters, when I go into stores, I generally wear dress clothes or something semi-formal with an identification lanyard and a bookbag, specifically so I don’t get stopped a bunch of times by customers when I’m trying to complete my job. I usually don’t mind helping people out in stores when I can, but I have to be pretty concise with my schedule and I have limited time available to be in the field.

On one of my most recent visits, I was meeting with one of my brand ambassadors to complete a performance assessment. When I was walking in, a middle-aged woman grabbed my shoulder — I cannot STAND being touched, so great start — and immediately started asking me about some open box television and what kind of “deal” I could work for her.

Me: *Kindly* “I am a store visitor that works with [Chain] leadership, but I don’t represent [Chain] in any way. And my brand doesn’t sell TVs, so that isn’t my area of expertise.”

Woman: “Oh, well, you’re here now, so I need you to tell me about it and figure out what we can do here. Also, I’m a real-a-tor, so no funny sales tricks!”

That’s strike two.

After reluctantly dealing with her for about fifteen minutes and finally getting her to make a purchasing decision, she begins questioning me.

Woman: “Why do the display TVs look ten times better in the store than my TV does at home?! That should be illegal marketing practices!”

I’m fed up at this point.

Me: “They use a flash drive of specifically optimized videos and have the TVs professionally calibrated.”

I also use an analogy relatable to her.

Me: “Think about it like this: as a realtor, you’ve sold a home that’s absolutely f****** hideous, let’s face it. I’m sure when you staged that home, you put a bunch of beautiful $5,000 couches, fancy love seats, and a mahogany coffee table in there to really sell the ‘personality’ of the home. In reality, you just put lipstick on an ugly pig. It’s the same thing with any kind of visual product marketing.”

She ended up apparently trying to file a complaint with the store and district manager. They informed her that they didn’t have an employee named [My Name], so they had no idea who she had talked to.

A tornado has done some damage to our retail park. As a result, the entire back-end of our phone store no longer has a roof, and our stock room’s walls are half gone. The whole area has been cordoned off, but after a couple of weeks, Corporate deems us able to serve customers as most of our stock can be on the shop floor and facilities have been provided using portable toilets.

Customer: “I need a new iPhone. I need it in space grey and with 512GB memory.”

Me: “I don’t think we have that configuration in stock.”

Customer: “Oh, you have to! I need a replacement today!”

Me: *Confirming* “I’m afraid we don’t, sir. We would need to order that in, for you.”

Customer: “Can’t you check the back?”

Me: “Not right now, sir. I—”

Customer: “Stop being lazy! Just check the back and see if you have one!”

I go over to the door that used to lead to our backroom, open it, and let the customer see the broad daylight and distinct lack of… a room.

Customer: “Well… you shouldn’t be open without a back!”

Me: “Finally, we can agree on something, sir.”

I ordered an OLED Switch from the website of a major electronics chain, and I went to pick it up in the store.

While I was buying it, a woman’s child saw it and started whining about it. The woman offered to pay me the base cost for it. I’m not above a bit of scalping if the price is right, but it wasn’t.

Woman: “A grown-a** man like you shouldn’t be playing video games!”

Me: “Well, this grown-a** man is going to go play Pokemon on his new OLED Switch.”

She fumed and tried to snatch my bag, not realizing it was one of those anti-theft ones with metal handles to prevent that exact act. She lost the tug of war and tried to leave, but she got stopped by security.

I was asked if I wanted to press charges. I did.

A customer comes in with their laptop, complaining that the Internet is slow. We open it up to try to troubleshoot.

Me: “Well, sir, I think I see your problem.”

Customer: “What is it?”

Me: “You currently have 302 tabs open on your Internet browser.”

Customer: “And?”

Me: “Well, that’s… a lot. I’m surprised your browser hasn’t crashed, to be perfectly honest. I would recommend using the ‘favorites’ feature and closing most of these down.”

Customer: “No! Then they’ll change the site! I always leave a website and when I come back they change it. I like them just as they are.”

Me: “Well, websites change, sir. They update them to remain current.”

Customer: “Idiots! I don’t use the Internet to stay current!”

Related:
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet, Part 2
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet

A customer comes in with a tablet she purchased from us.

Customer: “I have a problem with my Internet.”

Me: “Oh, well, did you—”

Customer: “There are other people using it.”

Me: “Well, did you share your password with any—”

Customer: “No, let me show you.”

She opens up a webpage, a forum she looks like she has been reading.

Customer: “Look!”

Me: “It’s a forum, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, but look! Other people are using it!”

Me: “Wait, is your complaint that other people are accessing the same websites as you?”

Customer: “Yes! I paid for my Internet! Other people should go and use their own!”

Me: “Ma’am, the Internet is a shared service. For the most part, everyone on the planet has access to the same websites as you.”

Customer: “Well, how do I get rid of them? I paid! I should get my own Internet!”

After my manager and I try to explain, she snatches up her tablet and marches out the door.

Customer: “Ridiculous! I should have just stuck to books!”

Related:
Sooo Not Ready For The Internet