That Age-Old Problem

, , , , , , | Learning | May 11, 2019

(I’m talking to a six-year-old student. I’ve told her my age a dozen times but she never remembers it.)

Student: “Ms. [My Name], how old are you?”

Me: “How old do you think I am?”

(She sits quietly for over a full minute.)

Student: “You’re six!”

Me: “Uh… no, I’m not six. You’re six; do you think we’re the same age?”

Student: “No.”

Me: “Okay, how old do you think I am?”

Student: *after thinking again* “You’re six.”

Me: “No. I’m a little older than that; do you want to guess again?”

Student: “You’re ninety-eight.”

Me: “No! Not that much older. I’m only nineteen.”

Student: “Oh, that’s like really old. Even older than ninety-eight!”

(Thanks, [Student]… It wasn’t until working with kindergarten that I was ever called old, but these kids manage to make me feel ancient every time I visit their class.)

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Your Age Has Little To Do With It

, , , , | Learning | March 29, 2019

(I’m a nineteen-year-old student going to college for a music education degree. Two days a week, I go to a kindergarten daycare class to observe and gain field experience. I always sit with the kids at lunch to get to know them better. Today, they are talking about their siblings.)

Me: “I don’t have any brothers; I just have a little sister.”

Student #1: “How old is your sister?”

Me: “She’s sixteen.”

([Student #2] glares at me)

Student #2: “You said you had a little sister. Sixteen isn’t little!”

Me: “Well, I’m older than her, so compared to me she’s little.”

Student #2: “But sixteen isn’t little!”

Student #1: “My big sister is sixteen.”

Student #2: “See?! Sixteen is big!”

Me: “Well, that’s because you’re little. I’m big, so sixteen is smaller. Remember, I told you I’m nineteen. Is sixteen bigger than nineteen?”

Student #2: “No, it’s smaller.”

Me: “So, my age is bigger than my sister’s age, making her the little sister.”

Student #2: “But sixteen isn’t little!”

(I was not able to convince [Student #2] that it was my age that determined whether my sister was little or not, not their ages. She still thinks I’m lying when I call my sister “my little sister.”)

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Pot Calling The Kettle Pink

, , , , , | Learning | March 16, 2019

(One day at the child care center where I work, I have a little boy come in with red fingernail polish on. Later that day, one of my male coworkers sees him and walks up to me.)

Coworker: “Who painted that child’s fingernails?”

Me: “His mom.”

Coworker: “Oh, my God.”

Me: “What?”

Coworker: “That poor kid doesn’t stand a chance.” *walks away*

(You’re a male working in childcare and you want to hold a three-year-old to traditional gender expectations?)

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The Age Of Innocence

, , , | Learning | March 13, 2019

(I am in daycare playing Legos with the kids when they start talking about birthdays and how old they are. They start guessing my age, and when they finally guess the right age, I tell them.)

Me: “Do you think that’s old?”

Boy: “Yes, but not old enough to die… yet.”

Me: “How old is ‘old enough to die’?”

Boy: “You’d have to be a hundred or something to die.”

(I’m glad I’m only eighteen!)

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“Just Say No” In The Adult World

, , , , | Friendly | March 2, 2019

(Where I work, when someone on staff has a birthday, we get all the kids together and share a cake. A coworker is a coeliac, while I am just gluten intolerant, so we generally never get any; even on my own birthday they forgot. But this is the worst.)

Coworker: “Hey, did you get any cake?”

Me: “Oh, no, thank you.”

Coworker: “You sure? We have heaps left! A little won’t hurt you!”

Me: “It will actually… I’m gluten intolerant, remember?”

Coworker: “It can’t be that bad! Just a little piece. I don’t want to throw it out.”

Me: “Well, it’s nice going in, but when it comes back out through both ends I really don’t enjoy it that much.”

Coworker: “Wow, that’s too much information. Geeze! I didn’t need to know that.”

Me: “I’m hoping it will get you to stop asking. I am easily tempted by food and it’s hard to say no.”

Coworker: “Then don’t say no!”

Me: “Please go away now.”

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