It’s Early Days Yet

| London, England, UK | Working | October 5, 2016

(I’ve been working at this nursery for a month now, and there have been a lot of problems so far. As the youngest, and least senior member of the team, I always seem to have to take up the slack that my coworkers can’t be bothered to do themselves. At this point it’s about 11:30 am and I’m talking to coworkers about when they’re leaving. I and Coworker #1 should be on late shift together, and we both started work at 11 am.)

Coworker #1: “Oh, no, [Manager] said I could go early because we don’t have many children, so I’m leaving at one.”

Me: “What? Why? You’re on late shift. If you go it’ll just be me and [Manager]. We won’t be in ratio and I’ll have to do everything myself.”

Coworker #1: *shrugs* “Have fun with that.”

(True to her word, she leaves at 1 pm. The other three co-workers leave when their shifts end at 3 and 4 pm, leaving me alone with [Manager] for three hours with seven children. [Manager] spends the entire time complaining about how tired she is and effectively leaves me to care for all seven children until their parents pick them up. As we are not allowed to leave the room unless there are two adults present, I have to wait until quarter to seven when the last child is picked up to empty all the bins, sweep and mop the floors, clean the kitchen, and lock all the doors and windows. At 7:25 pm I finish everything I can do and go upstairs to get my phone from the manager’s office.)

Manager: *looking surprised* “[My Name]! Why are you still here?”

This Movie Is Never Going To Let Go

| San Diego, CA, USA | Learning | July 28, 2016

(I work as a daycare assistant in this story. This daycare center shares space with a K-8 school that happens to have a costume spirit day near the end of the school year. I’m walking to the library with my class of three-to-four year olds when I hear the following exchange:)

Girl #1: *sees an older girl dressed as Elsa from ‘Frozen’ walking nearby* “Where’s she going?”

Girl #2: “I don’t know but she’s probably gonna let it go.”

Got Breast Milk?

| Chesterfield, MO, USA | Right | May 25, 2016

(I work at a daycare, taking care of babies. My one-year-old son is one of the babies in my room. One day, when a parent comes to pick up her own child, she sees me nursing my son.)

Parent: “Oh, do you do that for all the babies?”

(She actually thought I breastfed all of the babies in my room, not just my son.)

How To Train Your Dragon-Children

| IL, USA | Learning | February 1, 2016

(I am 14, and volunteering at a daycare center. There are cabinets about seven feet tall in one of the hallways, and are (almost) never a danger to the children. I am on my way to the restroom when I see a little boy who is about 4 years old has somehow CLIMBED ON TOP of one of the cabinets!)

Me: “Oh, my goodness! How did you get up there? Don’t move, okay?”

Boy: “MY NAME IS DRAKE! I AM A DRAGON! I CAN FLY!”

Me: “No, no, it’s fun to pretend but you can’t really fly. Um, let me get a step stool, okay? You stay right there, okay?”

Boy: “I WANT TO FLY! WATCH ME! LOOK! I AM A DRAGON!”

(I realize I am not comfortable leaving him alone at this moment as I am afraid he will jump off and hurt himself.)

Me: *panicked* “No, don’t fly, that’s against the rules! No flying allowed. I’ll have to give you a time-out!”

Boy: *suddenly quiet* “But… I don’t want a time-out.”

Me: “Then no flying, okay? I’m going to get a step stool from that closet right there, and no flying allowed!”

(At this time I am pretty sure he won’t jump. I quickly run to get a stool, and come back no more than ten seconds later. The boy is standing on the ground next to the cabinet with a huge grin on his face.)

Boy: “MY NAME IS DRAKE! I AM A DRAGON! I TOLD YOU! I CAN FLY! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED!”

Me: *is completely speechless*

Boy: *running away* “HAHA! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED! HAHA! I AM A DRAGON!” *runs into the 4-5 year old room, where he is supposed to be*

(I wonder how he got down without hurting himself, and how he even got up there in the first place!)

All Noisy In Joisey

, | PA, USA | Learning | November 16, 2015

(I work aftercare at a school catering to children between two and six. I’m currently sitting with a three-year-old who is stringing beads.)

Three-Year-Old: “Are you going to be here on Wednesday?”

Me: “Next Wednesday?”

Three-Year-Old: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, it’s my spring break, so I’m going to be in New Jersey.”

Three-Year-Old: *aghast* “Wait, why are you going to New Jersey?”

Me: “Because that’s where my home is.”

Three-Year-Old: “…Oh.”

(Pause.)

Three-Year-Old: “…Can you speak New Jersey?”

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