Driving Like A Pre-Schooler

, , , , , , | Related | November 26, 2018

(One summer while in college I take a job at a day-care center to earn extra book money. My job is to drive the kids in a passenger van to the local pool. It is the kids’ favorite day of the week and they are usually incredibly excited. One day we’re slowed down by a group of police cars with their lights on taking care of an accident on the side of the road. The kids are hollering, “Faster, faster! Drive faster!” A little four-year-old sitting behind me cries out:)

Four-Year-Old:No! Oh, no. Don’t drive faster!”

Helper: *curious* “Don’t you want us to take you swimming?”

Four-Year-Old: “Oh, yes! I just don’t want the driver to walk the white line.”

Helper: “What do you mean?”

Four-Year-Old: “Well, every time the police stop my daddy, they make him walk a white line, and we always end up not being able to go where we wanted to.”

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At Least It’s Not A Velociraptor

, , , , , | Related | October 10, 2018

(I overhear this conversation:)

Child: “My mommy is pregnant.”

Coworker: “Congratulations. Do you know what she is having?”

Child: “She is having a boy…”

(Pause:)

Child: “…or a girl.”

Coworker: *laughing* “Well, I’m glad she’s not having a puppy.”

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Time To Teach Them About Time

, , , , , | Learning | June 19, 2018

(While in high school, I work a couple days a week at a daycare after school. I am with the first- and second-graders, waiting for the older kids to join us.)

Second-Grader #1: “Are you a mom yet?”

Me: “Oh, no, I am still in school. I got to [High School that these kids have visited on a field trip].”

Second-Grader #2: “Isn’t that, like, really far away?”

Me: “Not really; it’s only about twenty minutes away from here.”

Second-Grader #1: “Wow… That’s like an hour!”

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Eye’ll Tell You

, , , , | Friendly | May 19, 2018

(During college I work at the associated daycare centre. Due to a genetic disorder, my right eye is puffy and closed. At the end of fall semester my freshman year, it is decided I need to have the eye removed. I have the surgery during the three-week term during January. I start working again spring semester. A child is sitting in my lap while I read to him. A second child comes and stands in front of me.)

Child: “Did your eyeball fall out?”

(I am shocked and have to frantically find an answer that will be accepted by him while not freaking him out.)

Me: “Um, no, the doctors decided that to make me better they needed to take it out.”

Child: “Okay.”

(I love the honesty of children, and how much they want to learn about the world around them. I do not like when parents shush them, because it teaches them it is not okay to politely ask questions of people.)

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Eleventh-Hour Decision On The Twelve-Hour Job

, , , , | Working | May 7, 2018

(I graduate as an elementary school teacher, but after college I remain with my “college job” because of the great pay, good hours, and low stress. However, they unexpectedly fire me without a good reason, and I need to look for a job when the economy is quite bad. Luckily, my lawyer manages to cut a deal with my old job, giving me some breathing space for a month or two. I send out many applications, for schools and other jobs. I finally get an interview with a daycare, for a position I am quite overqualified for. The daycare offers a decent pay, which would allow me to make ends meet, but have no more money left for saving up or fun things. Still, it’s better than nothing.)

Manager: “Thank you so much for coming! I was very impressed by your resume and qualifications!” *goes off in a standard spiel, I answer whatever she asks* “Now, let me show you around!”

(She shows me the daycare, from the little ones’ area to the after school program with the bigger ones. Since it’s during school hours, there is no one here.)

Manager: “The kids usually just play, but we expect you to think of fun projects for them to do, once in a while.”

(It dawns on me that she expects me to be in the after school program, which is pretty much from three pm until six pm, for four days a week: only twelve hours. The position offered, however, was for 36 hours. I ask her about this.)

Manager: “Oh, no, no, no, that’s what we offer full-fledged daycare employees, and that’s not what we’re looking for right now. But this position is open.”

(After the interview, I have a long train ride home and do my calculations. With the pay they offer, with no travel expenses covered, I could only pay half of my current rent, with no money left for anything else. I think about a second job, but the hours this job offers — I would need to come in early but only get paid the hours the kids are there, and leave late — give me little options. When I get home, my phone rings:)

Manager: “Hello! We talked about it and you are just perfect for the job!”

Me: “I am sorry, I thought about it, but I don’t think the job is something for me. I thank you, though.”

Manager: “But, but… you are perfect!”

Me: “Yes, but I thought things through, and I realized I won’t be able to pay my rent.”

Manager: *angry* “Then why did you apply?!”

Me: “I thought the position held more hours. Again, I am very sorry but I can’t take this position.”

Manager: “Well, thanks for nothing!”

(The manager hung up. I now understand why they were so eager to get me: a full-fledged teacher on a pay barely more than what you’d give a babysitter.)

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