This Movie Is Never Going To Let Go

| San Diego, CA, USA | Learning | July 28, 2016

(I work as a daycare assistant in this story. This daycare center shares space with a K-8 school that happens to have a costume spirit day near the end of the school year. I’m walking to the library with my class of three-to-four year olds when I hear the following exchange:)

Girl #1: *sees an older girl dressed as Elsa from ‘Frozen’ walking nearby* “Where’s she going?”

Girl #2: “I don’t know but she’s probably gonna let it go.”

Got Breast Milk?

| Chesterfield, MO, USA | Right | May 25, 2016

(I work at a daycare, taking care of babies. My one-year-old son is one of the babies in my room. One day, when a parent comes to pick up her own child, she sees me nursing my son.)

Parent: “Oh, do you do that for all the babies?”

(She actually thought I breastfed all of the babies in my room, not just my son.)

How To Train Your Dragon-Children

| IL, USA | Learning | February 1, 2016

(I am 14, and volunteering at a daycare center. There are cabinets about seven feet tall in one of the hallways, and are (almost) never a danger to the children. I am on my way to the restroom when I see a little boy who is about 4 years old has somehow CLIMBED ON TOP of one of the cabinets!)

Me: “Oh, my goodness! How did you get up there? Don’t move, okay?”

Boy: “MY NAME IS DRAKE! I AM A DRAGON! I CAN FLY!”

Me: “No, no, it’s fun to pretend but you can’t really fly. Um, let me get a step stool, okay? You stay right there, okay?”

Boy: “I WANT TO FLY! WATCH ME! LOOK! I AM A DRAGON!”

(I realize I am not comfortable leaving him alone at this moment as I am afraid he will jump off and hurt himself.)

Me: *panicked* “No, don’t fly, that’s against the rules! No flying allowed. I’ll have to give you a time-out!”

Boy: *suddenly quiet* “But… I don’t want a time-out.”

Me: “Then no flying, okay? I’m going to get a step stool from that closet right there, and no flying allowed!”

(At this time I am pretty sure he won’t jump. I quickly run to get a stool, and come back no more than ten seconds later. The boy is standing on the ground next to the cabinet with a huge grin on his face.)

Boy: “MY NAME IS DRAKE! I AM A DRAGON! I TOLD YOU! I CAN FLY! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED!”

Me: *is completely speechless*

Boy: *running away* “HAHA! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED! NO TIME-OUT ALLOWED! HAHA! I AM A DRAGON!” *runs into the 4-5 year old room, where he is supposed to be*

(I wonder how he got down without hurting himself, and how he even got up there in the first place!)

All Noisy In Joisey

, | PA, USA | Learning | November 16, 2015

(I work aftercare at a school catering to children between two and six. I’m currently sitting with a three-year-old who is stringing beads.)

Three-Year-Old: “Are you going to be here on Wednesday?”

Me: “Next Wednesday?”

Three-Year-Old: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, it’s my spring break, so I’m going to be in New Jersey.”

Three-Year-Old: *aghast* “Wait, why are you going to New Jersey?”

Me: “Because that’s where my home is.”

Three-Year-Old: “…Oh.”

(Pause.)

Three-Year-Old: “…Can you speak New Jersey?”

Total Blockheads

| Denver, CO, USA | Learning | September 17, 2015

(I catch a group of four-year-old boys throwing blocks, something they know is not allowed.)

Me: “[Boy #1], [Boy #2], knock that off! We don’t throw blocks; you know better.”

Boy #1: “We weren’t throwing blocks, miss.”

Me: “Yes, you were. I saw you doing it.”

Boy #2: “…Well, I didn’t see me doing it!”

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