(I’m trying to figure out how to get a replacement phone. The one the store sent me was defective, and because it was a refurbished phone, the physical store in town says they can’t help. They give me the number to call and I do. I’ve talked to about five people and been transferred to multiple departments, and I’m getting irritated.)

Me: “I really need this fixed. It’s not acceptable that I was sent a defective phone.”

Employee: “I completely understand. I’m going to get this fixed.”

Me: “Great. Thank you.”

Employee: “Okay, which location did you bring the phone to?”

Me: “The one at [Street in Town].”

Employee: “Okay, I need you to take it to [Store in City I haven’t lived in for a decade].”

(I’m stunned, because this information has certainly been updated then. All bills and new orders have been delivered to my new address.)

Me: “What? I haven’t lived there since I was twelve. Why is this location being brought up?”

Employee: “I need you to bring it there. That’s how it will get fixed.”

Me: *sighs and hangs up*

(I eventually called back after the rage passed, got it worked out by someone who didn’t want me to travel 1,000 miles.)

(I work in a major wireless retail store. A customer comes in with a newer smartphone that he recently purchased. It is no longer working after being dropped in a pool. After going over multiple options, including insurance which ships overnight, the customer opts to buy out his current phone agreement in order to get a new device in store.)

Me: “Today you’ll have to pay the remaining amount of your current device, which is $450, plus the tax on the new phone, and then your monthly payments will start over on the new phone.”

Customer: “But you said I’m buying out of my agreement? I don’t want to have a payment.”

Me: “Yes, sir. You’re buying out your broken device that you still owe on, but then you said you would like to purchase a new phone today in the store instead of going with the insurance.”

Customer: “You mean because I broke my phone, you’re going to charge me for a new one?”

Me: “Yes, sir, electronics do cost money. Again, if you do insurance, you’ll just pay a small deductible and you’ll get a new phone tomorrow; that would be cheaper.”

Customer: “I told you I don’t want to do the God**** insurance, but it’s poor business to charge me for a new phone just because I destroyed my other one.”

Me: “If I go out and wreck my car, and want a brand new one, I still have to pay off the old loan, and then I’d start a fresh loan on a new car. I don’t get a free one.”

Customer: “Well, no one would do that. That’s why you have insurance!”

Me: “…”

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 7
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 6
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 5

(I work for a cell phone retailer. An older gentleman comes into the store and states that he has lost his phone. We go over the process of checking if he has insurance on his device, as well as going through the steps for filing a claim. He opts to file the claim in-store. While going through the automated steps on the phone with the insurance company, and as we are issuing him a loaner device, we hear things like this:)

Customer: “Why do I have to talk to a robot?”

Customer: “These d*** robots are taking over everything!”

Customer: “I don’t understand what this robot is asking me.”

(Not many people enjoy automated systems, so though this is a wee bit strange and annoying, it is understandable. Once his claim is filed, we begin to issue him a loaner phone. Since one of our devices is malfunctioning, we have to remove that one and activate another one. While thanking him for being patient as we do this, he completely ignores us, which we don’t mind. He is muttering profanities as well as having a full on conversation — with no one. My manager and I exchange confused looks. My manager then pulls up the memo pad on the computer while waiting for the claim to fall through. I think she is making account notes, but she is actually writing a message for me to read over her shoulder. She writes:)

Manager: “I’m pretty sure he’s talking to himself…”

Customer: “I think my phone is broken.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, and I’d love to assist you. Can you describe the issue?”

Customer: “People say that they’ve called me, but my phone never rings.”

Me: “Do you have your phone with you? May I see it?”

(The customer hands over his phone. It is immediately apparent what the problem is.)

Me: “Sir, it appears that your phone is off, and the battery is completely dead.”

Customer: “I need to charge my phone?”

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s it.”

Customer: “I thought I only needed to do that if I wanted to make calls.”

Me: “No, your phone will need to be charged in order to use it for anything.”

Customer: “Are you sure about that?”

Me: “Yes, I’m completely sure.”

Customer: “Because I thought you only needed to charge it if you were making calls.”

(I work in chat. The customer says that her hotspot isn’t working. She cannot connect her phone to it but the laptop will.)

Customer: “My phone is unable to connect to its [Hotspot On Device]. My laptop does and so do other devices.”

Me: “You want to connect the hotspot on your phone to that same phone. Is that correct?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to connect the hotspot to my [Cellphone] but it doesn’t seem to work.”

Me: “You cannot do that.”

Customer: “They didn’t tell me that when I added it.”

Me: “I do apologize, but you cannot connect that hotspot to the device that is on. It would be using its own data.”

Customer: “So when I don’t have service in a area, I can’t connect my phone to the hotspot? It’s weird because when I added it, it connected to my [Cellphone].”

Me: “No, you cannot. You have to use an external hotspot if you are in an area with no service.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. It’s weird because one of my friends had a [Different Cellphone Model] and I didn’t have a working phone so I used it as a wifi hotspot.”

Me: “Again, that was an external source. Your phone cannot connect to itself. Your regular service and your devices data work on the same network. If one does not have data, the other will not either.”

Customer: “I never knew it was like that. So my personal opinion is ‘who would pay $50.00 for someone to use your hotspot?’.”

Me: “The hotspot is so other devices can connect to your data.”

Customer: “Why?”