(A little bit of backstory: I receive a phone from my parents for Christmas one year. As part of the gift, they agree to pay the contract for the first two years (the length of the contract), at which point it will be transferred to me. However, I go away to university in this time, so we set up with the company that I have the authorisation to speak on behalf of my father in case there are any issues while I am away from home.)

Me: “Hi, I’m having a problem with my account. It’s under [Father], but I should be on your system as having authorisation to speak on his behalf? My name is [My Name].”

Customer Service Rep: “Okay, yes, I see, ma’am. That is absolutely fine. We will require the answer to the account holder’s security question in order to continue, though.”

(I know the answers that my father would give to most standard security questions; however, since the account was set up in my absence, I don’t know which question he set.)

Me: “Okay, that should be fine. Can you tell me what the question is?”

Customer Service Rep: “No.”

Me: “…why not?”

Customer Service Rep: “You are not the account holder.”

Me: “But I have the authority to speak in his stead. You’ve already said that your system acknowledges that.”

Customer Service Rep: “I cannot divulge that information.”

Me: “But… look, it’s not as if I’m asking for a hint, or for you to tell me the answer. I’m asking for the question. That information is useless without the answer.”

Customer Service Rep: “I can’t tell you.”

Me: *giving up* “I’ll get in touch with my father and call you back.”

(He couldn’t remember which question he’d used either. Luckily, my mother could.)

(My mother, my sister, and I are at a store to upgrade my phone. A lady in her 30s and what I assume is her mother walk in and ask to see a model for the new IPhone 6. Worker #1, who is a black man in is 20s, is told by Worker #2 that since they already have a model out, he can’t bring out a second one. Worker #1 tells the woman that he cannot show her the model at this time, and she and her mother go and browse the store. Five minutes later, a black man in his 60s comes up and asks also to see a model of the IPhone 6. Since the other model has been put back, Worker #1 shows it to him. After the man leaves, the lady and her mother storm back up to the counter.)

Customer: “I knew you were a racist!”

Worker #1: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

Customer: “I saw you give that BLACK man the model and not me! Does your manager know its staff is comprised of racists?! I DEMAND to see the manager and have you fired!”

(Worker #1 seems quite shaken up about this, and turns towards the manager, who is helping me and my family upgrade my phone.)

Worker #1: “[Manager] can you come here for a moment?”

Manager: “Excuse me, ladies.”

(The manager walks over and we can hear her trying to explain the situation to the customer, but the customer continues to argue and starts to raise her voice. My sister and I are trying our best to ignore her, but my mother decides to butt in when the lady starts to verbally attack the young man.)

Mother: “Oh, for the love of god! Would you just calm down?! This is obviously not his fault and you are disturbing the peace!”

Customer: “Stay out of this; this isn’t any of your business!”

Mother: “I think you made it EVERYONE’S business when you started screaming like a lunatic!”

(The woman and her mother leave in a huff, grumbling to each other. My mother turns to Worker #1.)

My Mother: “Don’t worry, dear, you did nothing wrong. You seem like an excellent young man, and she was a crazy b****.”

(Worker #1 chuckles and says thank you, and the manager comes back to help us. A tiny, old woman that was standing at the back of the store comes up to the counters and speaks to my mother.)

Old Woman: “Thank you for doing that; she was driving me insane!”

(A customer is making a scene at the customer service counter. He wants a refund on a phone we don’t stock and has a receipt from another store with a name that sounds similar to ours but isn’t quite the same. I’ve had to call my manager over to explain we can’t refund products that weren’t purchased from us but this guy refuses to budge.)

Customer: “Listen, buddy, you are going to give me back the money I paid for this piece of s**** or I am going to dial the police right now and see how you like having to deal with them!”

Manager: “If you do that they’ll tell you they can’t do much. I’ve already explained, and my employee has already explained, that you didn’t purchase this from us so we can’t refund you for it.”

(The customer proceeds to pull out his phone and makes a show of dialing the police.)

Customer: “Yeah this is [Customer] at [Store] at [Address]… I need some boys in blue to come down and settle a dispute the s*** these employees are giving me! No… no, they aren’t armed… No, I’m not in any danger… Look, just send the d*** police, okay?! Thank you!”

(He turns and smiles smugly at us.)

Customer: “You two are in trouble now!”

Manager: “In that case, sir, please can you step aside so we can assist the customers behind you while we wait?”

(The customer does so but keeps smirking at us. Several minutes pass and he starts looking more unsure.)

Customer: “Well?”

Manager: “Well what?”

Customer: “Aren’t you going to try to get me to call off the cops?”

Manager: “Sir, I already told you they aren’t going to be able to do anything. Upholding our return policy is not a crime so all that’s going to happen is they’re going to come here, possibly take a statement, and tell you there’s nothing more to be done.”

(The customer’s smile slowly melts away.)

Customer: “You’re serious? You’re not going to do anything to stop the cops from getting involved?”

Manager: “I don’t know how else to say this, sir. You want to return something you didn’t buy here; we can’t do that because, as stated, you didn’t buy it here. If the only way you will believe me is if the police tell it to you then so be it.”

(The customer is now looking pale.)

Customer: “You… you a**-hole! I have unpaid tickets! I can’t talk to the police!”

(The customer bolted out of the store and quickly drove like a madman out of our parking lot. Several minutes later the police actually did turn up and confirmed the guy’s description and car matched that of a driver they’ve had to pull over multiple times for dangerous driving and who owed a fair amount.)

(I get a live transfer from an Internet repair level-one agent who sends us tickets to test and troubleshoot some technical stuff with the customer. The level-one agent advises me that the customer has a defective Internet modem. Keep in mind, it’s three pm and the techs only work till five pm in her town.)

Me: “Hi, I’m told you have a defective modem?”

Customer: *impatience already in her voice* “Yeah, I need a new one today!”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, our policy is to send you one in the mail. Can I verify your mailing address?”

Customer: “What? No! I need you to send a technician to my house today to change my modem for me. I had this problem at my office and they came to fix it the same day! I need it TODAY!”

Me: “How long has your Internet been down? I can have a modem to you in two days.”

Customer: “You listen here! I’ve had no service for five days and because nobody has come to fix it yet, I have to call and waste my time talking to you. Now, I want my Internet working TODAY! Never mind; transfer me to someone else that can help me.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. My manager can also arrange a modem to be mailed out.”

(I hit transfer before she continued to yell at me and told the story to my boss before transferring… Guess what? He mailed her a modem!)

(I am another customer in the store purchasing a new phone charger and I overhear this conversation between a manager and an older man. The older man had purchased the phone online from some website that’s not run by this service provider, but had it activated under them. The man’s phone rings; the ringtone is a popular rap song by a female artist. He answers his phone and can hear the manager who has called it but the manager can’t hear him.)

Manager: “I think the problem is the speaker on your phone. You can hear me, but I can’t hear you. And you said something about the ringtones?”

Older Man: “They were all just already on there. It came with them.”

Manager: “See, that’s not normal. Okay, what we can do for you in here today is cancel this phone line and you can purchase a new phone but—”

Older Man: “I don’t understand. If the phone is broken why do I have to pay for a new one?”

Manager: “Well, you can always contact whoever you purchased it from and see if there’s a warranty on it. But it wasn’t from us, so if you want us to fix it, there will be a charge. I can see if you’re eligible for your upgrade.”

Older Man: “I JUST bought the thing! It was brand new right out of the box! If you’re not providing me with a service then why am I even here?”

Manager: “Sir, we are providing you with a service. We are the phone company that you use, but we didn’t supply the phone. Whoever sold you that phone probably sold you a damaged phone.”

Older Man: “They couldn’t have! It was brand new right of the box!”

(Just then his phone rings and he answers it.)

Older Man: “Hello? Hello?” *hangs up* “THIS IS RIDICULOUS. YOU NEED TO FIX MY PHONE!”

Manager: “We can certainly do that, but there will be a charge, unless you contact whoever it was that you purchased the phone from. If it’s under warranty with them then they will send you a new phone for free.”

Older Man: “So I’m supposed to go several days without a phone?! This is ridiculous. I shouldn’t have to wait! I don’t know why I have you as a phone company when you won’t provide me service!”

Manager: “Sir—”

(At this point my transaction was finished and I walked out of the store this man cursing about needing to make phone calls. Somehow I don’t think Nicki Minaj comes standard on brand new out of the box phones, though….)