(I’m at a winter youth retreat for middle-schoolers. We’ve started playing a simple word game; the first person says a word, the second person says whatever word first pops into their head in relation to the first, the third repeats the pattern, and so on. We’re on our second time around the circle.)

Player #1: “Star.”

Player #2: “Astronaut.”

Player #3: “Space.”

Player #4: “Time.”

Player #5: “Continuum!”

(Everyone stopped to laugh. By far the most memorable combination I’ve heard while playing that game!)

(I am a summer camp counselor. I am waiting for the next activity with my campers on a bench when we spot a spider on the bench next to us. The campers are around ages seven to nine.)

Me: “Oh, hey, there’s a little spider here. Watch out for it!”

Camper #1: “That’s a jumping spider!”

Me: “Really? Do you like spiders?”

Camper #1: “Yeah! I study spiders a lot!”

Camper #2: “I like to study cars!”

Camper #3: “I study human weakness.”

(I am working at a summer camp. As you can expect, the campers regularly freak out over insects and spiders.)

Me: “Calm down! It probably won’t hurt you!”

Camper: “I love how you say, ‘Probably.’”

Me: *screams* “There’s a snail on my side of the tent! Get it off!”

Partner: “Why can’t you just be afraid of spiders like a normal person?”

Me: “Spiders are more common than snails, so you’d have to deal with the screaming girlfriend issue much more frequently.”

Partner: “Good point…”

(Our school offers music lessons during the school year and camps over the summer. I have to call a parent because she turned in a registration form for camp and left the parent contact information blank.)

Me: “Hello. I’m calling about [Child]’s registration form for summer music camp. It looks like the parent contact information was left blank.”

Parent: “He attended your camp last year. You have our information.”

Me: “That may be true, ma’am, but we do ask that you fill it out each time to make sure the information is up to date.”

Parent: “He takes lessons there during the year; the information is in your system!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind, I’m going to look in your account and verify that information with you. Are you [Mother]?”

Parent: “Yes.”

Me: “Is your cell phone number still [number]?”

Parent: “No, I don’t have that number anymore. Why don’t you have my new number?”