My young children are getting some ready-to-bake pizza. We get the two we need and head to the open checkout. Of course, there is a line. Knowing this is the norm for this store, we stand in line with our two pizzas and wait.

The customer in front of us starts to unload their cart; they were there first. The customer behind us speaks up.

Customer: “This is what’s wrong with this country — won’t let someone with fewer items go in front of them.”

If that’s the only thing wrong with this country, I will gladly wait in line to purchase my two items.

I’m a self-checkout attendant in a grocery store. One morning, a middle-aged man walks into the fairly dead self-checkout area and immediately beelines for me instead of one of the numerous open machines.

Customer: *Smiling* “I would like some help.”

Me: “All right, is there a specific register you’d like to go to?”

He doesn’t reply.

I awkwardly lead him over to the nearest open register. He is still smiling. He only has two items, so I take one and show him how to scan the barcode; some customers do have trouble figuring out exactly where to hold items so they’ll scan.

He makes no move to scan the second item; he just stands there and smiles. I swallow my annoyance, take the second item from him, scan it, and bring up the payment screen.

Me: *Tapping the card reader* “Okay, now put your card in here.”

Instead of doing so, he took out his debit card and handed it to me. Thoroughly fed up with his nonsense, I took the card, ran it, grabbed the receipt, and shoved it and the card into his hand.

He left without another word, still with that unchanging smile. I have no idea if he had something going on or if he just saw a young woman in a work uniform and wanted to fulfill some kind of fantasy. Maybe he would’ve stopped smiling if I’d handed him over to one of my two coworkers — who were over twice my age.

I’m a self-checkout attendant. A customer in a nice dress and makeup hangs up a phone call just as I’m getting to her.

Customer: *To me* “Never have kids. Do you have kids? No, you’re too young for that.”

Me: “No kids for me. I’ll spoil my nieces and nephews when they come along, but that’s it.”

Customer: “Good plan. Kids are a nightmare.”

Me: *Trying to cheer her up* “As long as you’re not here in pajama pants at one in the afternoon, you’re doing better than a lot of the moms I see come through here!”

It worked; I got her smiling before she finished her purchase and left.

Later that week, she came back with her husband and toddler, spotted me, and immediately gushed to them about our previous encounter.

My store will price-match local physical competitors to encourage people to shop with us instead of taking their business elsewhere. A regular customer is known for showing screenshots of big sales when they are no longer valid and then throwing fits when we tell him we can’t do the match. Usually, management gives in to retain his business, but corporate has noticed our price overrides and has told us in no uncertain terms that we cannot do that for him anymore.

He comes to my register with two twenty-five-pound bags of dog food and his phone in hand. 

Me: “Hi. Do you—”

Regular: “These are $20 at [Competitor]. You have them for $50.”

He shows me his phone screen. I lean in and see a screenshot from Black Friday. It’s currently July. 

Me: *Pointing at the screen* “Sorry, that’s—”

Regular: “Do not take my phone!”

Me: “I wasn’t. Unfortunately, that is not a current sale, so we will not be matching it.”

Regular: “Uh, yeah, you will. You always do.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we cannot match anything that isn’t a current price. Corporate has told us—”

Regular: “Get your manager. I am not putting up with this.”

Manager: *Coming from behind a nearby display* “I’m here, sir. [My Name] is correct. We are not going to match any price that is not current. This comes directly from corporate.”

Regular: “This is bulls***. I’m disabled! I’m on a fixed income!”

Manager: “If you’d like to speak to corporate yourself, I can provide their number for you.”

Regular: “No. F*** this store. F*** your stupid rules. This is disability discrimination. I will be taking this to the news. I refuse to spend another penny here if you’re going to treat me like a criminal.”

Manager: “So, you’re not buying this?” *Pointing to the cart*

Regular: “No! You’ll lose big business when this gets out!”

My manager takes the cart and walks away.

Manager: “Okay, sir. You have a nice week.”

The regular stands there for a few seconds, looking back and forth between my manager’s retreating form and me. 

Regular: “Is she seriously leaving?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Regular: “So, that’s it? You’re willing to lose my business over a couple of dollars?”

Me: “I don’t make the rules, sir. I just—”

Regular: “I hope you wreck your car and die. “

Me: “Get out, a**hole.”

He did call corporate and complained that we were discriminating by not allowing him to match any price he found. They backed us up and told him it was a current price or no match. We’re still waiting for the news to reach out.

Related:
The Price-Match Catch

We have three express lanes where customers are not allowed to check out more than fifteen items. All of these three lanes currently have lines, and many of the customers are complaining.

Customer #1: “So much for the ‘express’ part of the express lane! I’ve been waiting here for so long!”

Customer #2: “I know! And look, all those other regular lanes are empty! What a joke!”

Customer #3: “It’s like the ‘express’ lanes are the slow lanes, and the slow lanes are now the express lanes!”

I am trying to check out the items as quickly as possible, but I look up to note that — yes, indeed — the regular checkout lane next to me is totally devoid of any customers.

Me: “Sirs, you know you can also use this lane to check out? It’s open, and there’s currently no line.”

Customer #1: “Are you crazy? That’s a slow lane, not the express lane! Are you trying to delay us even more?!”

Customer #2: “She’s just being lazy and doesn’t want to serve us.”

Me: “Sirs, I am simply saying that you can still use the regular lane if you have less than fifteen items—”

Customer #1: “No way! We’re staying in the express lane! We don’t want to be in the slow lane!”

I looked once again at the totally empty regular checkout lane next to me and then back at my long line at the express checkout. I figured it was best not to argue and just kept checking them out as quickly as possible.

They continued to moan about how slow the express checkout lane was the entire time, and also the entire time, the lane next to me remained totally empty.