(There is this store where if you return five containers that are empty, you can get a free face mask. I’m a customer, watching this happen.)

Customer: *buying a bunch of stuff* “I also finished five containers.”

Employee: “Oh, do you have them with you?”

Customer: “No, I threw them out.”

Employee: *pause* “I’m sorry, but we have to have the five containers, or we can’t give you the mask.”

Customer: “But I emptied them out! I want my free face mask! Won’t you just throw them away if I gave them to you?”

Employee: “Actually, we recycle them into the signs.”

Customer: *looks around, pays for stuff, and leaves in a huff* “Fine, but the next time I come back with the empty pots, I want two free face masks!”

(I am the next customer in line witnessing an exchange between the customer ahead of me and the cashier. This grocery store has a points card program. All you have to do is register the card online, load your weekly offers, and show it when you shop. The man in front of me has handed the cashier his points card, but there is no point balance on the receipt.)

Customer: “What the f*** is this?! I didn’t get any points?!”

Cashier: “Oh, that just means you haven’t registered your card yet. Keep your receipt, go online and register it, and then you can bring your receipt back to collect the points.”

Customer: *now getting visibly angry* “What the h*** are you talking about? I have had this card for a month; of course it is registered!”

Cashier: *scans card* “No, sir, this card does not have an account registered to it yet; you have to go online to do that.”

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Rescan these. I want my points!“

Cashier: “I don’t have to rescan them, sir. You can just take your receipt to customer service over there, and they can put the points on as soon as your card is registered.”

Customer: “You will rescan them and give me my points!“

(This is where I step in:)

Me: “Hey. She told you already: go on the f****** Internet and register it, and then come back for your points. There are four other people in line that you are holding up for no reason other than your own ignorance.”

Customer: “Well, that’s all she had to say. Spoutin’ all this s*** about goin’ online.”

Me: “What did you think the Internet is?”

Customer: “F*** this!”

(He slammed down his card and receipt and walked out with his stuff. I took his receipt over to customer service and collected his points.)

(I’ve just come back from vacation. My coworker always finds covering for me overwhelming, so, of course, he’s grousing about it as soon as I get back.)

Coworker: “You’re always on vacation, man. It’s getting really annoying.”

Me: “Really? I’m always on vacation? Yeah, that’s why HR is always on my case about my unused vacation time.”

Coworker: “Yeah, I know. But it just feels like you’re always on vacation, because you take a week here and a week there. You should take all your vacation time in one big chunk, and just get it over with.”

Me: “Because I’ve been with the company a lot longer than you, I get four weeks of vacation time. When I’m gone for a week, you start pulling your hair out and asking me to come back early by Wednesday. Now, are you seriously telling me you want me gone for an entire month?”

(My coworker takes a moment to think about this.)

Coworker: “Well… all I’m saying is it’d be easier to plan around.”

(I’m the manager on duty at a custom toy store chain. One of my newer staff members is talking with a guest and waves me over.)

Guest: “I just bought two of [Stuffed Dog Toy] the other day, but I realized when I got home that the tag on the collar is missing.”

(The guest noticeably does not have the defective toy in question on her.)

Me: “Oh, no. I’m sorry that happened. If you bring the defective one back, I’ll be happy to do an exchange!”

Guest: *shoots me a glare* “I have to bring it back?!”

Me: “Well, yes. I need to have the defective one before we give you a new one.”

(The guest briskly walks out to her waiting husband, I overhear her saying in a huff, “He has to see it.” Thinking that’s the end of that strange interaction, I go about my business. Later the guest returns with just the receipt. Still no toy dog.)

Guest: “I found it; give me my replacements!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the receipt isn’t the issue. I need the toy back to do anything for you.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous; I’m from overseas! It’s just a tag!”

Me: “I don’t have the ability to just give you a tag. I would need to exchange the whole toy.”

Guest: “This is ridiculous! It’s bad customer service! If I have to make another trip, then it’s just going to be for my money back!”

Me: “Sorry you feel that way.”

(The guest storms out, screaming about how terrible the service is.)

Employee: “In what country would she have just gotten a new one, just because she said it’s broken?”

(The company I work for has investment products that are not liquid just due to the nature of the investment. A lot of our clients are older and get upset when they’re told that they can’t withdraw their funds on short notice. There are some people we know well, investors that we can’t appease no matter what. On this day, the lady who calls in is one of our familiar characters, who seems to feel she deserves special treatment even when she’s horrible. So, it isn’t really a surprise when she says calls both me and my coworker — who talked to her a few minutes ago and was hung up on — rude and demands to speak to our manager.)

Customer: “I want your manager to call me back as soon as possible! It’s very important!”

Me: “I’ll have him call you as soon as he’s free, ma’am.”

Customer: “I said as soon as possible, not when he’s free!”

Me: “Ma’am, that is as soon as possible. He can’t call you if he’s not free to do so.”

(The customer hung up on me.)