Pre-Order Disorder

, , , , , , | Right | January 20, 2018

(It is just after the release of an AAA title. Any customers wishing to reserve a copy usually put down a five dollar deposit and need to have their receipt in order to pick it up on release day.)

Customer: *walks in arrogantly* “I want to pick up a copy of [Title].”

Me: “We would be glad to sell you a copy; however, all of the ones we currently have are for pre-orders only. I’m afraid we have none left for walk-ins.”

(The customer starts arguing, and our pre-order customers are starting to file in behind him. He remains oblivious.)

Customer: “Do you mean to tell me that all copies of that game are reserved? That’s ridiculous! I want you to sell me a copy of [Title] now, or I’ll call your head office.”

Me: *sly wink to the line up* “Sir, if you would like to purchase a copy, then you’ll have to convince one of the 20 or so people behind you to give up one of theirs.”

(The customer turns around and finds himself staring down an angry mob.)

Customer: *pregnant pause* “I’ll, uh… I’ll go and see if [Department Store] has some.”

(I spent the day bro-fisting the line. It was awesome.)

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Unfiltered Story #103851

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2018

My coworker was helping an older couple with ice makers

Husband: Do these ice makers make ice?

Coworker: Yes these ice makers make ice.

Wife: Are you sure?

Flowering New Hall Passes

, , , , , | Learning | January 5, 2018

(We have a sub in the horticulture class and he finds out what we use as a pass.)

Me: “[Substitute Teacher], I need to use the bathroom.”

Substitute Teacher: “Okay. Where’s the hall pass?”

Class: *points to an orchid in a small vase*

Substitute Teacher: “That’s the hall pass?”

Me: “Yeah, the old hall pass got stolen or broken; we don’t really know. [Teacher] decided we would use the orchid as hall pass. Different class rooms use different items, though.”

Student #1: “Math uses a textbook, and social uses a rock.”

Substitute Teacher: “Okay, then.” *hands over the orchid* “Don’t drop the hall pass.” *goes to sit with confusion on his face*

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A Quizzical Response To Missing The Quiz

, , , , , , | Learning | January 3, 2018

(My grade counsellor sends me an email about a field trip the next day, as she figures I might be interested. While it is absolutely last minute, I still agree to go. I have a test the next day in one of my classes, but the counsellor reassures me that she will talk to my teacher about rescheduling it. The next day in class:)

Teacher: “I’m just going to go through something that came up on the test.”

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I haven’t written it yet.”

Teacher: “I know you haven’t. I saw you in the morning yesterday, but then you left, which was really suspicious, especially on a test day.”

Me: “I know, but I went on a field trip, and it was last—”

Teacher: “I really don’t appreciate excuses.”

(She says this in front of the entire class, and I’m super embarrassed. She just gives a generic example of a question.)

Teacher: “Unfortunately, since [My Name] hasn’t written the test yet, no one can look over it until she decides she wants to.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can do it on Tuesday, since I have to do a language arts essay on Monday, or I can even write it today.”

(The test was on Thursday and this happens on Friday.)

Teacher: “No, just do it on Tuesday; you’d only have 45 minutes today to do it.”

(Friday classes are the shortest of the week, while other days are all 65 to 80 minutes.)

Me: “But I’d rather not keep others from reviewing their tests.”

Teacher: “Tuesday is fine; you won’t be able to finish it on time today, anyway.”

(Around me, I heard people complaining about having to wait to review it. My friend later informed me that it was an extremely short quiz and it took the class a max of half an hour to do it.)

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Acerbic Allergic

, , | Healthy | December 31, 2017

(I am 15. In my family, most of the women on my mom’s side have a condition called Restless Leg Syndrome, which is a brutally frustrating tic where your muscles in your thigh and calf feel like they are in spasm, like a small electric shock. It comes randomly, and nothing seems to help it stop once an episode starts; you just have to ride it out. I’ve been dealing with this myself since I was a kid. What my mom thought were growing pains turned out to be RLS. I’ve been referred to a specialist to see what my options are. Part of the process is conducting a nerve path function test. I have small needles pointed into the tips of my fingers, with electrical simulation higher up my arms to track if the signal is flowing properly. The test is uncomfortable to say the least.)

Specialist: “The results seem to be okay for your arms, which is a good indication that your legs would reveal the same.”

Me: “No short circuit, then? Bonus!”

(I am trying to lighten the mood as my mom is stressed at seeing me in such discomfort, and I am trying to take my mind off of it as well.)

Specialist: *stares blankly at me* “Your RLS is likely caused by poor diet and lack of exercise and in many cases, alcohol.”

Me: “Well, geeze, Mom, if you had just laid off the whiskey at bedtime, we wouldn’t be here now!”

Specialist: *blank stare* “In the event we have to do a minor surgery to explore nerve function, is there anything you’re allergic to in terms of medication?”

Me: “Penicillin.”

Specialist: “And what happens when you take it?”

Me: “I get a terrible rash over my stomach and chest and become very sick to my stomach.”

Specialist: “So you’re not allergic to it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Specialist: “You’re not allergic to it. You wouldn’t die if it was given to you.”

Me: “Well, no, I guess not but—”

Specialist: “That’s an intolerance. You shouldn’t say you are allergic to penicillin. What if it was required to save your life from an infection?”

Mom: “Well, there are plenty of alternatives out there, I think it’s a semi-common allergy? She’s had to have antibiotics for various infections, and they always seem to find something else.”

Specialist: *to my mom* “Do you have allergies?”

Mom: “Yes, I’m allergic to strawberries.”

Specialist: “And what happens if you eat them?”

Mom: “Well I go into anaphylactic shock very fast.”

Specialist: “THAT, is an allergy. I’m not writing on your chart that you’re allergic to penicillin. See the front reception to re-book when you’re ready.”

(He promptly leaves, with my mom and I sitting in stunned silence. I suppose he was right — I wouldn’t die if I was given penicillin in an emergency, but the marvel’s of modern medicine mean I don’t have to when there are so many alternatives. I am careful to tell other doctors now, that it’s not a life threatening allergy, but to avoid it if possible!)

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