(This story was told to me many years ago in broadcast school. As part of our application, we had to take a tour of a radio station and get a taste for the work involved. This classmate is telling us about her tour. She is in the main control room, asking the announcer some questions while he does his show, and she notices that all the phone lines are lighting up.)

Classmate: “Uh… Shouldn’t you be answering the phone?”

(The announcer turns around and randomly picks up one of the phone lines.)

Announcer: “Good afternoon, [Radio Station].”

Caller #1: “Oh, my God, he picked up.”

Caller #2: “Well! Say something!”

Caller #1: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!”

Caller #2: “THEN HANG UP!”

Caller #1: *screams*

Caller #2: *screams*

(The two callers then hang up. The announcer turns back to my classmate.)

Announcer: “It’s Spring Break. All the kids are out of school and bored. All the calls this week are like that.”

(A customer orders.)

Coworker: “So, that was a medium double-double and a medium iced coffee?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Coworker: “A medium double-double and an iced coffee come to [total]. Is that everything?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Coworker: “All right, we’ll have that at the window for you.”

Me: *at the window* “Hi! One medium coffee and one medium iced coffee?”

Customer: “Mmhm.”

Me: “All right, that will be [total].”

(The customer pays. I go to hand them their iced coffee.)

Customer: “Oh, that wasn’t what I ordered.”

A couple of summers ago, we allowed a couple college-aged girls to stay at our house for a few different weekends while we were away. My husband had met one of the girls before, and they were volunteering for the organization he works for, so we offered our place for them to stay for free.

None of the three weekends went well.

For two of the weekends, we came home to a sink full of dishes. The dishes were clean, but the sink was literally completely full of them, and they obviously needed to be put away. There were also chairs in random spots in the house, and games and controllers littered throughout the living room. Although it wasn’t a huge deal, I was also upset because I’ve always believed that if someone is nice enough to offer you their house for free, you should leave it the way you found it — and not create work for the people coming home late after a busy weekend away!

Throughout those weekends, they also lost their key to the house, and knocked over and cracked a lamp.

The worst thing, however, involved our cat. Thankfully, they didn’t leave the door open long enough to let him escape. However, one night, one of the girls decided to sleep in the living room, despite there being a room for her to stay in. Our cat was apparently bothering her, so at some point during the night, she decided to lock him in our bedroom, away from his food, water, and litterbox. I don’t know how many hours he was stuck in there, but it was long enough that he pooped on our bed and peed on our down duvet. Our cat is completely litterbox trained and has never done that outside of the box before that situation.

I still can’t believe this happened, even though it was quite a while ago. If you are staying at someone’s house for free, please be thoughtful and considerate!

(It’s currently November, which means we’re now starting to sell Christmas products, including a small fake Christmas tree and ornaments. A coworker and I are working at the cash registers when I overhear my coworker speaking with the person she is helping. The customer has brought up a small Christmas tree and a couple of ornaments.)

Customer: “So, since I’m buying these, I can get 50% off?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I’m buying the tree and the ornaments together, so I get 50% off.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work like that. I can give you 25% off since we are having a promotion where if you spend $50 or more you get 25% off your purchase, and these products definitely put you over $50.”

Customer: “But I’m buying these together, so I should get 50% off.”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I just can’t give you 50% off; that’s not how it works.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *stomps off, leaving everything behind*

Me: “Did she just demand 50% off her purchase for no reason?”

Coworker: “I don’t even know where she’s pulling that number from; as far as I can tell she’s just making it up.”

Me: “If she was just going to make up a discount she liked, why didn’t she just go for broke and go 100% off?”

(Throughout the rest of the shift, I kept bugging her, asking my coworker for 50% off of stuff, and just asking her if I can just take stuff home for free.)

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 11
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 10
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 9

(The scene: a desperately understaffed postal outlet, two cashiers, mountain of Christmas shipping boxes behind them, line of customers stretching out behind us. I am next in line while two men in front of me do business with the two clerks. The customer on the left is mature, annoyed, and arguing very slowly with the woman trying to help him.)

Customer: “But this says that the driver couldn’t deliver the package and that I could pick it up here.”

Clerk: “Yes, sir, but the driver has not yet returned from his rounds, so the package isn’t here to pick up yet.”

Customer: “Can you just check and see if it’s here?”

Clerk: “I’ve already explained to you, sir, that the driver has not yet returned for the day…”

(This continues for minutes while the line behind us steadily grows longer. The clerk is clearly pained, but her professionalism is astounding.)

Clerk: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to come back tomorrow and check for your package; there are a lot of customers waiting in line.”

Customer: “Well, you don’t care that I made a special trip in here in my truck to pick this up! Nobody cares about me. I might just go get into my truck and drive over someone on the way home—“

(This is too much, and the customer beside him and I both interrupt him simultaneously.)

Me: “Hey! Don’t be talking like that. That’s not cool; you don’t threaten to run someone over just because you didn’t get your package…”

(Voices from the lineup behind us join in in support. The customer whirls in surprise, and notices that he is holding up about twenty people, that we’ve all been listening, and that we are all calling him on his bad behaviour. He leaves the store without a word. The clerk thanks us, the other customer and I fist bump, and we finish our business. Next time I am in, I get the same clerk, who says…)

Clerk: “You remember that guy? He came back the next day, then complained that his package was too heavy for him to carry, and now he’d wasted two trips for nothing and we should just send it back. Then, about an hour later he came back in and picked it up after all.”

(Their receipt has one of those “How did we do?” surveys on it. I made sure to fill it out positively, mentioning her by name.)