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Encounters with friends & strangers

Has A Different A-gender

| Friendly | August 26, 2015

(I am taking to a work colleague. I’m pregnant with my first child.)

Colleague: “So, when will you find out the gender?”

Me: “We’re not going to. We are going to be surprised.”

Colleague: “Why would you do that?”

Me: “Well, is what we always said we wanted to do. My best friend did the same with her kids and it was great.”

Colleague: “But how will you decorate or buy clothes?”

Me: “Everything will be gender neutral.”

Colleague: “But if it’s girl, you’ll have no dresses or headbands.”

Me: “We can always buy dresses after the baby is born.”

Colleague: *angry* “Well, I think you’re just being selfish!” *storms off*

Me: “It’s MY baby.”

The Great Train Of Babel

| Friendly | August 25, 2015

(I live and study in Strasbourg, France and am interning in a lab in Karlsruhe, Germany. I take the public transportation and have a long commute every day, which I use to study, out of personal interest, foreign language books. One evening, halfway on my way back home, I’m working on my Italian book when two middle-aged Spanish tourists sit across from me.)

Spanish Tourist #1: *in Spanish* “Oh, so you speak Italian?”

Me: *in running-on-automatic German* “Well, not yet, but I’m still learning.”

(It dawns on me when they exchange puzzled looks. I laugh.)

Me: *in broken Spanish* “Oops, sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I meant…”

(I hesitate. I don’t want to seem rude but I never learned Spanish formally then and even though I understood them, it’s difficult to work out an answer. The other tourist helps me out in French:)

Spanish Tourist #2: “We speak English, if you want. Very little French and Italian though.”

Me: *relieved, in English* “Oh, great. I mean, I’m sorry, I just need to adjust. I’m French; I spoke German all day long and am learning Italian so I guess I’m a little confused.”

Spanish Tourist #1: *in Spanish* “Understandable. So you’re…” *in French* “…from this region, right? We’re…” *in English* “…sightseeing there. What do you recommend?”

(Cue a discussion about Strasbourg, their hometown Seville, my travels and theirs, and Europe in general in the most ridiculous Babel discussion ever, during which my poor brain provides sentences in complete chaos during 20 minutes.)

Me: *in Spanish* “I like to be…” *in Portuguese* “…working…” *Spanish* “…and traveling…” *Italian* “…in different…” *Spanish* “…places. It’s…” *Italian* “…always…” *English* “…enlightening and I…” *slip back in German, then repeat in French* “…like changing decors every once in a while.”

(By the time the train arrived in Strasbourg and we parted ways, I had both a full-blown migraine and a huge grin across my face. Four years have passed and I still laugh. I still haven’t been to Seville.)

It’s Changed Since My Gay

| Friendly | August 25, 2015

(Overheard from outside, are a bunch of kids (roughly 14?). They are being super loud:)

Kid: “Gay! Gay! Gay!”

Older Kid: “Hey! Not cool, man. Gay ain’t an insult, s***-head! Penalty box!”

Kid: “I’m sorry! I won’t say it again!”

Younger Kid: “Okay, but if you do I’m kicking you in the foot and you get DOUBLE penalty!”

(They all go back to playing ball.)

Ignore The Rule Of Thumb

| Friendly | August 25, 2015

(I am at a scout camp, and Counselor #1 is telling of something that happened during the summer.)

Counselor #1: *gets call on walkie-talkie* “Yes, [Counselor #2]?”

Counselor #2: *over walkie-talkie* “I have a health and safety question.”

Counselor #1: “What is it?”

Counselor #2: “How do I get my thumb out of a log-splitter?”

Where Are They From, From?

, , , , | Friendly | August 24, 2015

(I am at a get together with my boyfriend, his sister, and her friends who I just met. I’m Chinese and prone to snark.)

Acquaintance: “[My Name], where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from the Bay Area. From a city called San Leandro.”

Acquaintance: “Well, I mean… Where are your parents from?”

Me: “They’re from there, too. I live with them.”

Acquaintance: “No, like… Where were they born?”

Me: “Oakland.”

(I thought it was funny, but I think I embarrassed him, so I felt a little bad.)


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