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That Layby Just Flew By

, , , , , , , | Right | April 3, 2024

This happened back around 2001. I was being served at one of the two returns counters for a faulty item next to a teenage girl. From what I heard and saw, she was returning two “The Sims” game CDs.

Manager: “How can I help you?” 

Customer: “I’ve had these on layby for ages, and I picked them up yesterday after school. When I got them home, I found that they had the wrong game discs in them, which sucks because I was looking forward to playing them. Can I either get my money back or the proper games, please?”

Manager: “Oh, you’re the third person that’s happened to. We can definitely replace those for you.”

Customer: “Thanks heaps. Just to let you know, my bus leaves in fifteen minutes. If I miss it, I’m going to come back and stand here and chat with whoever is here — staff, customer, or the wall — about nothing for half an hour until the next bus.”

Manager: “Um, okay. Well, we shouldn’t take too long.”

The manager radioed through to the entertainment section, and a staff member quickly brought up two copies of the games. 

Manager: “Here you go. Have a nice afternoon.”

Customer: “Thank you loads!”

She grabbed her items, threw them in her backpack, and took off running toward the entrance leading to the bus station.

I finished my business, and out of curiosity, I hung around near the entrance to see if she came back. She didn’t.

Proximity Is Often Inversely Correlated With Lateness

, , , , , , , | Learning | December 2, 2022

I overheard this in a group project workshop.

Student #1: “Ah, sorry we’re late! Traffic, you know?”

Student #2: “YOU LIVE ON CAMPUS!”

A Long Overdue Overhaul

, , , , , , , , | Working | September 23, 2022

There’s an electronics store near my house that was notorious for being staffed by condescending older guys who were borderline creepy, the owner being the worst offender. I’m a software developer who works from home. I have been around computers since I was born because my dad was an IT technician for a major company.

While I, a female in my mid-twenties, have avoided the store as much as I could until now, one day, I pass by it and see an “Under New Management” sign. They also have some very expensive parts for my gaming computer advertised as on sale for almost 50% off. I decide to give them another try, hoping the new boss is better than the old one.

I walk in and notice that, while the last time I was here it was staffed by entirely middle-aged men, I can see three female employees and two male employees, all around thirty-five or younger. I get my hopes up, but unfortunately, there is still an older guy in a store shirt lurking around the parts I want.

I pick up the two parts I need and he starts in on his sales pitch, calling me names like “sweetheart” — which I don’t mind much — and “sugar” — which I DO mind — and generally telling me the wrong information and being kind of creepy. I grab my parts and walk quickly to the counter, where a woman about my age is running the register. Unfortunately, the old guy has followed me to the counter.

Old Guy: “You sure those are the parts you want, honey? I could do you a good deal on a [part I don’t need or want that is purely cosmetic]. You can make your laptop light up pink!”

Me: “Just these, please.”

He then decides to stand BETWEEN me and the register. Given the display behind me, even backing up only puts a few inches between us. I am wildly uncomfortable at this point and cursing whoever the new manager is.

Cashier: “[Old Guy], knock it off! You’re making her uncomfortable!”

Old Guy: “I am not! I’m just not letting her get her parts until she smiles for me. She hasn’t cracked one since she walked over to my section!”

Cashier: *Under her breath so I barely hear her* “For f***’s sake, not again.”

She waves frantically to someone behind me and gestures for them to come over.

Just then, I hear a man’s voice behind me calling the guy’s name. A guy around my age appears at my side and pulls the older guy away from me. I can see from his nametag that he’s the owner.

Owner: “We do not treat customers like that, [Old Guy]! Miss, I am so sorry. If you’d still be so kind as to give us your business, my wife will be happy to give you a discount for your troubles.”

Older Guy: “What troubles?! I just wanted her to smile!”

Owner: “Come on. Let’s go chat in my office.”

I quickly grab and pay for my even further discounted parts while the cashier apologises profusely. I give her my information for my warranty and run out of there.

Two weeks later, I get a card in my letterbox.

Letter: “Dear [My Name]: We here at [Store] are so sorry for the experience you had shopping with us a few weeks ago. When [Old Owner] passed, ownership of the store passed to [Owner], his son. We have been trying to repair the bridges that were burned under [Old Owner]’s management. While we have tried our best to retrain existing staff, unfortunately, sometimes you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. The employee that accosted you has since moved on to other employment, and we promise you will never have an experience like that again. Please take this $50 gift card as a token of our apology, and we hope you can find it in your heart to give us another chance. Sincerely, [Store].”

Given their sincere apology, I head down there with my gift card. As soon as I step into the store, the cashier from before recognizes me.

Cashier: “You came back! Hooray!”

She walked around the whole store with me, answering questions about products and generally chitchatting. Every other employee was warm and polite. While there were still two older gentlemen selling air coolers, they were both incredibly polite and respectful, answering my questions about a reverse cycle without talking down to me.

While I settled on a new keyboard that day with my gift card, I’ve been back twice already with my boyfriend, who fixes computers and has bought a load of parts already from them. I doubt we’ll ever shop anywhere else. It’s amazing to see a bad business turn itself around, and I’ve been telling anyone who will listen to shop at [Store]!


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You Might Be Bluffing, But It’s Not Worth Finding Out

, , , , , | Legal | September 10, 2022

There have been some break-ins in my area recently, and a rumour says that the thieves have been calling homes pretending to be salespeople to fish for information about when people are at work and the house will be empty. I’m at my parents’ house when they get a phone call.

Man: “Good afternoon, ma’am! I’m from [Security Company] and our company is looking to fit free roller shutters to houses in the area, for advertising purposes.”

I know my parents wouldn’t want that anyway due to how their windows are shaped.

Me: “Go on.”

Man: “Is there a good time we can come over to discuss it? Do you work during the day? Is there any time where no one would be home?”

Me: *Pauses* “You know, actually, I think roller shutters would be really good at our house. My parents and I rehabilitate former attack and guard dogs, and one of them is something of an escape artist. I’m unemployed at the moment so I’m home literally all the time, so you can come whenever. You would need to get really specific about what time you’re coming, though; we have eight dogs at the moment and I would need enough time—”

The man hung up.

My parents have one dog who is elderly and adores strangers. I just couldn’t believe how obvious this guy was being!

The Truth Hurts, Doesn’t It, Buddy?

, , , , | Legal | May 31, 2022

My mum has recently bought a house after divorcing my dad. I live with her and pay board each week to cover groceries and some bills. However, I am definitely not renting, nor do I have anything to do with mortgage repayments or homeownership.

I receive a call from an unknown number. Since I’ve been applying for jobs, I answer.

Me: “Hello, [My First Name] speaking.”

There’s a long pause, which I recognise as a scammer calling, about to begin their script.

Scammer: “Yes, is this [My Full Name] speaking?”

Me: “Yes?”

Scammer: “Do you own the house you are currently living in?”

Me: “Oh, no, I do not.”

Scammer: “Are you renting? We have ways of helping people who are renting.”

Me: “No, I am not renting.”

Scammer: “So, you own the house, then?”

Me: “No, I don’t.”

Scammer: “So, you are renting, then?”

Me: “Nope. Not renting.”

Technically, I’m not lying. Also, I have time to spare, so let’s have some fun!

Scammer: “So, you own the house?”

Me: “No, I really don’t.”

Scammer: “So, you don’t own the house, and you’re not renting?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Scammer: *Frustrated* “Well, it has to be one or the other! You can’t live in a place that you don’t own or rent! Do own the house or do you rent the house?”

Me: “I told you, neither!”

He let out an exasperated sigh and hung up on me. I told my mum, and she laughed and congratulated me for getting a scammer to hang up.