Me: “Hi, your order comes to [total].”

Customer: “Is it okay if I pay on my credit card even though it’s under $10?”

Me: “Sure. May I please have your card?”

Customer: “Oh, do I actually have to swipe it? Your machines inside don’t need swiping. I just wave my card in my purse and it works.”

Me: “None of our machines do that, sorry.”

Customer: “I just hold up my purse and wave it around and it works!” *she begins waving purse, at least half a metre from the Eftpos machine*

Me: “No, ma’am. It won’t, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Oh, all right; here’s my card. You really should fix your machines, you know!”

This story is part of the Worryingly Weird Checkout Encounters roundup!

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Read the Worryingly Weird Checkout Encounters roundup!

Me: “How can I help you today?”

Patient: “Um. I think I have an STI.”

Me: “Okay. What symptoms do you have that make you think that?”

Patient: “Well, I don’t really know. My computer told me to be here.”

Me: “Oh, did you do a self-analysis online?”

Patient: “No. I’m not sure. I’m here; I need to be here!”

Me: “Exactly what did your computer tell you?”

Patient: “Don’t judge me! Stop it! I need to be here!”

Me: “I can assure you that I am not judging you. Can you explain to me exactly what happened before you came here?”

Patient: “Well, I was looking at some [adult websites] last night online and this morning I turned my computer on and it told me I have a virus!”

Me: “Uh.”

Patient: “Stop judging me!”

This story is part of the Technologically-Challenged roundup!

Read the next Technologically-Challenged roundup story!

Read the Technologically-Challenged roundup!