(It’s around lunch, and my husband and I are standing in line in a popular fast food place, when we overhear this in front of us)

Lady: I would like an ice cream please.

Cashier: I’m sorry, but our ice cream machine is broken.

Lady: But I want ice cream.

Cashier: I’m sorry, our ice cream machine is broken today, may I suggest (other treat)?

Lady: No, that won’t do. Okay, I’d like a vanilla milkshake!

Cashier: …I’m sorry, as I said, our ice cream machine is broken. Perhaps (different treat)?

Lady: But I want a milkshake!

Cashier: yes ma’am, but unfortunately our ice cream machine is broken, so we cannot do shakes either.

Lady: Ugh. Fine. I’ll have a (special ice cream based treat that has treats mixed in).

Cashier: Sorry ma’am, that’s still ice cream, our machine is broken. I cannot serve any ice cream based products. *gestures to ice cream machine, which is obviously off and disconnected from the wall*

Lady: Why are you making this difficult? Then I’ll have a strawberry milkshake!

Cashier: MA’AM. Our ice cream machine is BROKEN. It does NOT function. I cannot make ANYTHING with ice cream. If you wish ice cream, there is a 2nd (fast food place) a few blocks away.

Lady: What? No there’s not!

Cashier: Yes ma’am, there is. *gives detailed directions*

Lady: Are you SURE? I don’t think there is.

Cashier: Positive ma’am. They can serve you ice cream there.

Lady: Why can’t you serve it to me HERE?

Cashier: Because, ma’am, again, our ice cream machine is broken. Please, if you wish ice cream, I suggest you try (2nd fast food place).

Lady: I don’t think it exists.

Cashier: Yes ma’am, I assure you, it does.

Lady: …Are you positive?

Cashier: Yes, ma’am.

*The lady then gave an annoyed sigh, then walked out. The funny part? Late that night my husband and I decided to stop by the 2nd fast food place -for ice cream- and THEIR machine was down too! I guess ice cream wasn’t in the cards that day, for anyone!*

Me: Ok Sir the soonest we will be able to schedule a pickup for your vehicle will be on Tuesday the 17th. Unfortunately, we won’t have any towers available until then.

Customer: In that case is it possible I can get it picked up tomorrow on sunday the 15th?

Me: *headdesk*

(I’m at the checkout of the grocery store, swiping my card, when I feel someone briefly put their hands on my shoulders. I turn around and see a little old lady behind me, so I figure she just lost her balance a little. Of note, there’s been a half-empty water bottle sitting by the card reader since before I got in line, and I’m wearing a pair of “five-fingers” running shoes.)

Old Lady: Excuse me, but are those shoes comfortable?

Me: Oh, yeah. They’re really-

Old Lady: I wanted a pair like that, but with the diabetes, I can’t.

Me: That’s too bad, I hope-

Old Lady: I wanted them for yoga, but I can’t find any yoga pants that-

Cashier: *helpfully interjecting* Here’s your receipt! Have a good day!

(I thank the cashier and skedaddle toward the exit, trying to build a mental wall between “old lady” and “yoga pants”, when the little old lady yells after me.)

Old Lady: HEY, IS THIS YOUR WATER?!?

Me: NOPE!

Me: Arigato! Thank you for calling (restaurant). How may I assist you?

Caller: ——

Me: Hello, you’ve reached (restaurant). How can I help you?

Caller: ——

Me: I’m sorry, but I can’t hear you. I’m hanging up now. Please call back.

Less than a minute later…..

Me: Arigato! Thank you for calling (restaurant). What can I do for you today?

Caller: YEAH YOU JUST HUNG UP ON ME! LET ME SPEAK WITH THE OWNER!

Me: May I ask who’s calling and what it’s regarding?

Caller: THIS IS IGOR! AND I WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOU HANGING UP ON ME!!!

Me: I’m so sorry about that. I can assure you that if I ended your call it was not intentional.

Caller: I DON’T CARE! YOU HUNG UP ON ME AND I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER NOW!

Me: I’m sorry, but the owner is available. May I direct your call to the ma—

Caller: GET ME JUSTIN THEN, THE GM! YOU HUNG UP ON MEEEE!

Me: I’m sorry, but he also currently unavailable. Would you like—

Caller: I’LL HOLD THEN!

Me: It will be quite some time. Would you like to call back in fifteen minutes?

Caller: FINE!

My shift is almost over and he still hasn’t called back. Fingers crossed!

(the store I work at has a store credit card. Every other weekend, there is a special if you use it. Other weekends, there’s a sale of you use your online rewards. They never overlap. This weekend was credit card only.)

(a woman in her late 50’s comes up to the customer service desk in a mobile cart.)
Customer: “Hi, so I’m old and don’t use the internet so I can’t use the rewards to get special discounts. Your manager gives me a $5 gift card because I can’t get the special discount.”
Me: “my manager isn’t in currently. But, I can call the store director in charge and see what she says.”
(so I ring the store director)
Store Director: “Hey this is (her name) what can I do for you?”
Me: “hey this is the service desk. I have a customer who received a $5 gift card by my manager a couple of weekends ago because she doesn’t have internet to use our online rewards. She would like a gift card because she doesn’t have the store credit card.”
Store director: “I can’t authorize that. I don’t have a store credit card so I won’t be receiving the special discounts today. We can’t just do that for everyone. If you don’t have it then you don’t get it. If she makes an issue out of it, have her call my boss on monday.”
Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I just spoke with the store director and she said that she cannot authorize that and that if you would like, you can call the main store director on monday.”
Customer: “but I don’t have internet to receive the special sale today!”
Me: “today is a credit card day, if you have the store credit card then you can get the discount”
Customer: “I don’t have that either!”
Me: “I’m sorry, she cannot authorize me to give a gift card. But, I don’t have one, so I won’t be getting the special today either.. I know it’s not exactly fair.”
Customer: “I’ll just be taking my business elsewhere where they treat me better!”
Me: “that is completely your descision”
Customer: “yes it is!”
(mobile cart slowly drives away)