I have a set of ongoing prescriptions that I get filled as needed. I went to the doctor a few months ago and got refills on all of them sent to the pharmacy. The last time I called in my prescriptions, the system said this is the last refill on some of them. I call the pharmacy to see if there’s a new set of prescriptions. After going through the rigamarole to talk to a representative and being put on hold for ten minutes, this happens.

Me: I just refilled two of my prescriptions yesterday and they said I had no more refills after this. I just wanted to make sure I have a new set of prescriptions.

Pharmacist: What are they?

Me: *lists medications*

Pharmacist: [Medication 1] and [Medication 2] are ready. [Medicine 3] has one more refill. Do you want me to fill it now?

Me: No, I just want to see if the doctor sent in a new set of prescriptions.

Pharmacist: [Doctor’s Name] sent in one for [Medicine 1] and [Medicine 2] because you refilled them yesterday. [Medicine 3] has one refill, and [Medicine 4] has no refills.

Me: *suspecting that those refills are for the current set of prescriptions I have* OK.

Pharmacist: Do you want me to put the two prescriptions already filled back?

Me: *tearing hair and somewhat alarmed* No, leave them!

Pharmacist: OK, thank you.

I work for a large company that sends out many different ads and mailers. I have the following conversation on a regular basis.
Customer: I got something in the mail from you. Why did you send this to me?
Me: I am not sure, do you have it in front of you?
Customer: yes I have it right here.
Me: can you read it to me?
Customer: it says; You may be eligible to add to your existing coverage amount please fill out the enclosed application to see if you qualify for an additional $5000.00 in coverage for an additional 5 dollars a,month.
Me: that would be an offer to increase your coverage. Just fill out the application and return it if you are interested.
Customer: how much does it cost?
Me: an additional $5 a month.
Customer: I pay $20 a month now. How much would I be paying if I add the coverage?
Me: $25 a month
Customer: what if I don’t want it?
Me: just disregard it. It’s just an offer.
Customer: so I can throw it away?

(I’m having lunch with my mom and brother, and the conversation turns to Netflix. This is right after the launch of Disney Plus, which my brother is obsessed with because Star Wars. My brother is extremely closed-minded about certain things, especially TV. In his mind, there’s almost nothing worth watching at all, especially when it comes to animated media. He believes the only good cartoon in the world is Clone Wars.)
Brother: We should get rid of Netflix.
Me: Why?
Brother: There’s nothing good on it anymore.
Me: Not true. There’s still some good shows, plus they’re getting better with their originals.
Mom: Besides, it has our British shows.
Brother: In a year, Netflix will be obsolete.
Me: They’re not going down without a fight. That’s why they’re making a live-action Avatar.
Brother: They already did that.
Me: The movie doesn’t count. And the creators of the show are taking the reigns this time, not Shyamalan, so it should actually be good.
Brother: You’ve never even seen the show!
Me: Oh yes I have!
Brother: No you haven’t.
Me: Oh yes I have! It’s an awesome show. You should watch it.
Brother: Weeb.
Me: It’s not anime, it’s just done in that style.
Brother: Weeb.
Mom: (brother), be nice.
Brother: No, I’m not going to be nice to any weeb. I hate that I’m related to one. Anime should be banned. It turns your brain to mush. Besides, nothing good ever comes from Japan.
Mom: I’ll take your Toshiba laptop back then. And leave your sister alone. If she wants to watch anime, let her watch anime.
(My mom also has negative views towards anime, though not as extreme as my brother.)
Me: First of all, I don’t’ watch anime. My friends have tried to get me into it, but they like the super gory stuff and that’s not for me. And second, Mom, Speed Racer is an anime.
(Speed Racer was one of her favorite shows when she was a kid.)
Mom: No it’s not, it’s a Japanese cartoon.
Me: That’s called an anime.
Mom: Growing up, we just called it a Japanese cartoon.
Me: It’s anime. You like an anime.
Brother: She’s right, Mom, Speed Racer is anime. But she’s still a Weeb.
(My brother ran out of the room before I can say anything else.)

My parents live in Miami, right on the water, where jetskis, paddle boards, and small boats are common. A small canal takes them to the ocean or a lake in just a coupe of minutes. Two important things to note: First, for safety reasons, there are strict rules about how fast you can go in a canal. Second, my father is a very no-nonsense person. One day a ridiculous, excessively colorful, tricked-out jetski goes flying by way to fast:

My Dad: *waving to get his attention* “HEY! SLOW DOWN!”

Obnoxious jetski dude: *waves*

My Dad: “YOU’RE GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY!”

Obnoxious jetski dude: *smiles and waves again*

(A handful of my dad’s younger coworkers are at his out for a get-together, so he vents:)

My Dad: “What the heck? Are you serious? A wake that big could’ve hurt somebody or done serious damage to someone’s property! Who does he think he is?!”

Coworker #1: “Wait, did his jetski have [obnoxious design] on it?”

My Dad: “Ya, why?”

Coworker #1: “No way!! That was [locally famous rapper]!”

Coworker #2: “You saw [rapper]?!”

Coworker #1: “Ya!”

My Dad: “[Coworker #1], how do you even know who it was?”

Coworker #1: “There was a picture in that magazine of him on the exact same jetski!”

By now, the rest of my dad’s 20-something-year-old coworkers have tuned in. Lots of “wow’s” and references to the magazine and rapper.

Coworker #3: “So [My Dad], how do you feel about seeing a famous person right outside your house?”

My Dad: “The design on his jetski was stupid and he was still going way too fast. Plus, he _waved_ at me when I told him to slow down!”

Coworker #1: “Well he probably has lots of people yell and wave at him, so…”

My Dad: “I’m still going to report him if he goes by that fast again.”

My Dad does not get star-struck, and he really would have reported the guy if he had gone by again. Like I said, no-nonsense.

My brother went to college at Arizona State University, out of state from us but conveniently close to our aunt and uncle and cousins. We go to visit one year when our parents’ alma mater plays the ASU, and my cousins come to the game as well. Despite living close to ASU, they’re fans of the in-state rival football team, and my parents and I are cheering for their team, making my brother the only fan of the home team in our group.

Shortly before the game starts, the ASU marching band plays the national anthem, while standing on the shape of the letters “USA.” One of my cousins turns to my brother and points at the band, exclaiming, “Look! Your school’s band can’t even spell its own initials right!”

To add insult to injury, my brother’s team lost, too. The rest of us enjoyed the game!