Unfiltered Story #267786

My parents live in Miami, right on the water, where jetskis, paddle boards, and small boats are common. A small canal takes them to the ocean or a lake in just a coupe of minutes. Two important things to note: First, for safety reasons, there are strict rules about how fast you can go in a canal. Second, my father is a very no-nonsense person. One day a ridiculous, excessively colorful, tricked-out jetski goes flying by way to fast:

My Dad: *waving to get his attention* “HEY! SLOW DOWN!”

Obnoxious jetski dude: *waves*

My Dad: “YOU’RE GOING TO HURT SOMEBODY!”

Obnoxious jetski dude: *smiles and waves again*

(A handful of my dad’s younger coworkers are at his out for a get-together, so he vents:)

My Dad: “What the heck? Are you serious? A wake that big could’ve hurt somebody or done serious damage to someone’s property! Who does he think he is?!”

Coworker #1: “Wait, did his jetski have [obnoxious design] on it?”

My Dad: “Ya, why?”

Coworker #1: “No way!! That was [locally famous rapper]!”

Coworker #2: “You saw [rapper]?!”

Coworker #1: “Ya!”

My Dad: “[Coworker #1], how do you even know who it was?”

Coworker #1: “There was a picture in that magazine of him on the exact same jetski!”

By now, the rest of my dad’s 20-something-year-old coworkers have tuned in. Lots of “wow’s” and references to the magazine and rapper.

Coworker #3: “So [My Dad], how do you feel about seeing a famous person right outside your house?”

My Dad: “The design on his jetski was stupid and he was still going way too fast. Plus, he _waved_ at me when I told him to slow down!”

Coworker #1: “Well he probably has lots of people yell and wave at him, so…”

My Dad: “I’m still going to report him if he goes by that fast again.”

My Dad does not get star-struck, and he really would have reported the guy if he had gone by again. Like I said, no-nonsense.