(There is an ID check to enter the lab and to print.)
Me: “Hi, can I see your ID, please?”
Guy: “No, I don’t need ID to come in here.”
Me: “Yes, at this lab it is required.”
Guy: “But I don’t need an ID to come in!”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I really need your ID, or I can’t let you come into the lab.”
Guy: “Oh I need ID to come in? Why didn’t you just ask me for it?!”
Me: *headdesk*
Me: “Sir, I’m afraid your SIM card has been destroyed due to entering your PUK code too many times. You will have to get a new one.”
Customer: “Okay, thanks.”
Some moments pass and he hasn’t hung up. I put the phone on mute.
Customer: “Stupid b****!”
(He follows this up with miscellaneous other insults. I take mute off.)
Me: “Uh, sir, you might want to disconnect the line, I’m still here.”
Customer: “OH, F***!” *click*
This story is part of our Swearing Customers roundup!
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Read the Swearing Customers roundup!
Customer: “Uh, yes, I need the grey paint for the carpet. Which one is best for the carpet?”
Me: “Sir, we do not have a paint for carpet.”
Customer: “Yes, yes. No… no. You do not understand… see, I need to paint carpet, yes? You tell me which one. Yes, yes?”
Me: “Sir, like I said, it is not advisable to paint your carpet. It will harden and you will not be able to remove it, so I cannot recommend a product at this time.”
Customer: “No, no, you see wrong. I paint floor of car. It is very cheap, I like to paint the carpet, it is cheap, yes? So which one, which one?”
Me: “Sir, I don’t think you understand me when I tell you that it is not possible to spray paint carpet. You may dye it, or you may try to remove the stain. I could show you where–”
*customer cuts me off*
Customer: “No, no, you see, I need paint. For carpet, yes? And you show me which one. Yes? We do this now.”
Me: “…okay. Try that grey one over there.”
Customer: “Is it good for carpet?”
Me: *blank stare*
*pause*
Me: “Sure, why not?”
Customer: “Yes, yes, thank you!”
Me: *sigh*
(This guy with a thick Bosnian accent comes up to me.)
Customer: “I am looking for beekels.”
Me: “Beekels?”
Customer: “Okay…”
(I show him where are the bagels are.)
Customer: “No, Not bread. Beekles.”
Me: “Um…”
Customer: “The kind you put in fridge.”
Me: “Oh.”
(I go to the freezers and show him the frozen bagels.)
Customer: “NO! NOT BREAD! BEEKLES!”
Me: “I can’t… I don’t know… uh…”
(He walks away. A few Aisles away he sees it and picks up.)
Customer: “This is what I was looking for.”
Me: “Oh, pickles…”
(I work in a local government call centre and take calls from the residents about all kinds of things–including education.)
Customer: “Hi, I got your booklet about the school meals and it said I can get a grant for clothing.”
Me: “That would be the school uniform grant. Could I take yours and your child’s details? I can send you an application form.”
Customer: “I don’t have kids, can’t I have the money for myself? I’m on income support.”
Me: “The grant is for the school uniform, sir, and it is only available for children.”
Customer: “So I can’t have the money for myself?”
Me: “Um… no.”
Customer: “For f***’s sake!” *hangs up*
(I wasn’t sure if he wanted the money for normal clothes, or wanted to buy himself an actual school uniform.)
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