Ask And Ye Shall Receive

Editors' Choice, Jerk, Stupid, USA, Video Game Store | Right | January 19, 2008

(It’s December 24th, the last day for Christmas shopping.)

Customer: “Do you have a Nintendo Wii?”

Me: “No, sir, unfortunately we are all sold out.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s just pretty much the top holiday item, sir, and we have been selling out of the Wiis non-stop since last November.”

Customer: “When do you get them in?”

Me: “I don’t know. Not until after February, probably.”

Customer: “D**n it! I have kids, you know! Show some sympathy!”

Me: “So do probably 70 of the 100 people in line behind you, sir. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “What if I slip you a $20?”

Me: “What about, no.”

Customer: *obviously thinking I’m stupid* “Well, sell me the box you have right there up on the corner of your shelf, you liar!”

Me: “I can’t sell it to you, but I guess I could give it to you for free if it makes you feel better. There’s nothing in there, by the way…”

(Customer apparently completely ignores that last line.)

Customer: “H***, YEAH! I GOT MYSELF A WII! HAHAHAHAHA! MERRY CHRISTMAS, SUCKERS!”

(Crowd stands with death glares fixated on me and the guy.)

Me: *hands him the box* “Merry Christmas… Next person, please.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F***?! GOD D***! S***! There’s nothing in this d*** box!”

Next Customer: “That’s because he said that was just a display box. He gave it to you just so you could be happy and you accepted it, moron!”

(The crowd of customers returned to holiday mode.)

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“Professional” Photography

Photo Lab, Stupid, USA | Right | January 18, 2008

(Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes and I’ve been working on other orders.)

Customer: “Hey!”

(The customer taps the envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my attention.)

Me: “Yes. sir?”

Customer: “You ruined my pictures!” *throws pictures on the counter*

Me: “Sir, they look fine to me.”

Customer: “You put your fingers in my pictures!”

Me: “That’s impossible, sir, there’s no way my fingers could be in your pictures.”

Customer: “They stuck them in the way when you were printing them.”

Me: “No, sir, the way our machine works that just can’t happen. The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in the shot.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”

Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”

Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”

Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”

(This continued for another fifteen minutes, with the customer complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that very obviously resembled a camera strap.)

This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!