(I am calling a Housing Trust tenant to arrange a new time for us to re-glaze her shower screen. The maintenance centre has just called to say this particular elderly lady has several doctor’s appointments. These conflict with her original appointment time.)
Me: “Hello. This is [My Name] from [Glazing Business]. How are you?”
Tenant: *chirpily* “Oh, terrible. It’s this blasted weather, you know.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Tenant: “That’s alright, love. How are you anyway?”
Me: “Alright, thank you. I agree with you about the weather, though. Anyway, I was just calling about–”
Tenant: “Oh, yes. I am all dizzy, and my head hurts. And it doesn’t help that I’m allergic to the sun.”
Me: “That must be very frustrating. I just spoke to–”
Tenant: “And I’m polymorphic! If I go outside and change form, they’ll get me!”
Me: “That’s not a good situation to be in at all. Anyway, I understand you’ll be going into hospital on Tuesday morning. We need to change your appointment time. Is–”
Tenant: “I hope I win the $20mil in the lottery this weekend. Then I can move to Tasmania. Oh, the weather in Tasmania! I hear it’s beautiful and cool over there. Not like here!”
Me: “Yes, I’ve heard that too.”
Tenant: “Oh, you’ve been there? What’s it like?”
Me: “No, but I do have it on good authority that it is definitely cold.”
Tenant: “Oh, good. I hate being in this pension house. If I win this weekend, I will move to Tasmania and get rid of the pension. They can’t get me there, because it’s over the strait.”
Me: “It would be wonderful if you did win. Can we come Tuesday afternoon to fix your shower screen?”
Tenant: “Hang on darling, I’m blind.” *papers shuffle* “Sure, love. I’ll be home from the hospital by then.”
Me: “Fantastic. It was lovely talking to you!”
Tenant: “And to you, dear! When I win this weekend, you can have a share.”
Me: “That’s very kind of you. Have a lovely weekend!”
Tenant: “You too, dear.” *hangs up*
