(I’m visiting my parents for the summer. My father is away for the weekend, and I’m busy writing a text for my mother while she’s doing laundry. Her phone rings. Naturally, I answer it.)

Me: “Hello, [Mom]’s phone, [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Electrical Company] working with [some sort of organization/cause]. Maybe you’ve heard of us?”

Me: “Can’t say that I have. Either way, I have nothing to do with the services, and the—”

Caller: “Oh, is that covered in the lease, maybe?”

Me: “My parents are homeowners, but that’s beside the point. My father deals with these kinds of things, and he is currently unavailable. However, I’m sure he’d tell you we are very happy with our services; otherwise, he would’ve changed them already.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, thank you for the time you didn’t have.”

(My parents are doing some renovations to the house. They’re getting an entirely new kitchen, as well as taking a portion of the current kitchen and making it into a laundry/bathroom. It’s the biggest renovation done to the house since the expansion about 20 years ago, which added a lot of space on all three floors. I’m visiting one day, sitting in the living room with Mom. Dad is currently mapping out where the outlets will be in the new kitchen and walking between the kitchen and dining room while mumbling to himself, trying to get an overview of the wiring. He’s currently standing on a chair in the middle of the dining room, checking the wiring for the ceiling light.)

Dad: “Now, how did I wire this?”

(He starts to pull wires, watching which lights go out.)

Dad: “Okay, this does that. This one is for that. We’ll pull this one and get shocked, so we’ll not touch that again…”

(This goes on for a while, with Dad occasionally stepping down from the chair to check the lights in the kitchen and living room or to crawl around in the dining room to discover that there’s actually five outlets in there, and not four as he initially thought. After about fifteen minutes:)

Dad: *enthusiastically* “Okay, we’ve got it under control! Mostly. I just have to check this one thing…”

(It takes about five more minutes before he announces that he’s finally got everything checked out. Fast forward a week: I’m back for another visit. Dad is working in the kitchen.)

Mom: “I feel like he’s constantly sawing or cutting something in there, but it looks the same!”

(It looks a mess, as part of the floor is ripped up, half the cabinets are gone, the ceiling is getting replaced, and there’s — part of — a wall in the middle, indicating where the new bathroom is going to be.)

Me: “Well, you wanted this.”

(Mom starts to tell me what Dad has done about the wiring, including fiddling with a remote for the dining room lights, removing/adding/moving wires to and from fixtures, and disassembling a radio, among other things.)

Mom: “You know, I’m not too sure about him playing with all these wires; it’s not like he’s a plumber!”

Me: “Yeah, he’s not an electrician, either.”

Mom: *laughing* “Yes, that’s what I meant. I just hope he doesn’t burn down the house.”

(Dad did all the electrical work himself 20 years ago, too, and the house is still standing. He did, and will, have a professional look it over, though, as it’s the law to have an actual electrician sign off on the work. And as to the “playing with wires” part; Dad’s a telecom technician and that’s how he describes his work.)

(I’m talking to a nice customer. A woman approaches, stopping right at the register, next to — and quite close to — the man I’ve been helping, so I assume she’s with him, maybe his wife or something. A few minutes later, while I keep talking to the man, the woman starts pacing around us and eventually stops between us and looks at me.)

Woman Customer: *interrupting us* “I need your help.”

Me: *realizing she doesn’t know the man* “Well, sure, but I need to finish helping this man first.”

Woman Customer: “Well, you helped me yesterday, so you need to help me.”

(My assistant shop manager is the same build as me, and also male, so sometimes unperceptive customers mistake one of us for the other.)

Me: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t here yesterday.”

Woman Customer: “Well, he looked like you.”

Man Customer: *jokingly* “So, they’re both good-looking men?”

Woman Customer: “Nah, more normal-looking.”

Me: “…”

(A law was just passed: all plastic and paper bags have to be paid for. This is to try to help the environment, and basically to get people to stop using plastic and paper bags, and instead to get people to use reusable bags. A customer comes up with his purchase of two books.)

Me: “Hi. These two today?”

(The customer doesn’t really say anything, just taps on his phone. I ring up his purchase.)

Me: “Do you need to buy a plastic bag for two kroner?” *about 0.20 USD*

(The customer doesn’t say anything, so I take his payment and am ready to help the next customer in line.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “What? Am I not gonna get a bag?”

Me: “I did ask you, but you didn’t answer me.”

Customer: “Well, give me a bag! I’m not going to go around carrying these books without a bag!”

Me: “All right, that’s going to be two kroner, then.”

(A lot of customers try to avoid paying for bags by asking for them after they’ve paid. We used to let them get away with it, but now with the law being passed, our boss is very strict about it.)

Customer: “What?! I’m not going to pay for that! Just give me a bag!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t just give you a bag. If you want one, then you’re going to have to pay for it.”

(The customer argues for a bit until my boss comes out. Just one look and everyone understands he’s the boss; he just has this air around him. The customer turns to him.)

Customer: “Give me a bag! I’m not going to pay for a plastic bag!”

Boss: “Well, what did she say?”

(He motions to me.)

Customer: “Well, she said that I have to pay for it.”

Boss: “Then I guess you’re going to have to pay for it, aren’t you?”

(The customer looked at me and my boss for a couple of seconds and then stormed out.)

(I’m at a popular coffee shop that I haven’t visited in a long time. I get excited when I see several big posters of their summer menu, which includes cold brew coffee. The menu clearly states that you can add several different flavors to the cold brew, including vanilla and caramel.)

Me: “Hi. Can I get a cold brew with milk and vanilla?”

Barista: *stares at me blankly for a few seconds and glances at the menu that I’m pointing at* “Umm… you mean the organic cold brew coffee?”

Me: “Yes, the one on the menu.”

Barista: *stares blankly again* “I think we only have two kinds; you can’t get vanilla or caramel or anything.”

Me: “It says on the menu that I can add vanilla flavor, but okay, I’ll get something else.”

Barista: “I don’t think we even have cold brew.”

Me: *internal sigh* “Can I just have an iced vanilla latte, please?”

(Maybe inform your workers about the new additions to the menu before posting huge ads for them all around the coffee shop.)

This story is part of the Coffee Shop roundup!

Read the next Coffee Shop roundup story!

Read the Coffee Shop roundup!