(I am overweight. Our office recently moved and clients are coming by to see the new office. I’m giving one such tour and we get to the kitchen.)

Me: “And here’s the kitchen.”

Client: “Oh! Is this your office?”

Me: “No. That’s the kitchen.”

(It turns out, she had seen me cut through there to a different part of the office earlier and assumed that it was my office without really looking or listening to what I said. She was rather embarrassed at having insinuated that the kitchen was the office of the biggest guy there. We had a good laugh about it.)

(I work at a store where we ask every guest if they would like to sign up for a store card to save 5% on their purchase. A customer comes up who appears to be around 40 years old.)

Me: “Hello. Would you like to save 5% on your purchase with a [Store] debit or credit card?”

Guest: “Sure.”

Me: “Great, it will just take a few minutes to apply. First, would you like the debit or credit option?”

Guest: *with very confused face* “Aren’t debit and credit cards the same thing?”

Me: “…”

(This happens all the time, where guests have no idea what the difference between a debit and credit card is. I then have to explain what the difference is between them, without asking them how they made it this far in life without knowing.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 81
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 80
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

(I am working the cash register, helping a lady who appears to be 50. We are having a nice, normal talk until we get to paying.)

Guest: *pulls out a card from her wallet*

Me: “Oh, I see you have a chip card. Just so you know, we’ve installed chip card readers now.”

Guest: “Oh, okay.”

(She then proceeds to start waving her card around in the air above her head.)

Me: “Miss, you need to insert the card over here.”

Guest: “Oh, I need to insert it somewhere?”

Me: “Umm, yes.”

(To this day I don’t understand how she thought waving her card around would process her payment. The scary part was that she was serious about thinking it would work that way.)

(My mother-in-law has popped by for a visit and to drop off some things. I’m not in the best mood and she notices.)

Mother-In-Law: “Is [My Name] okay? She’s usually much more bubbly and talkative.”

Wife: “It’s… been a rough few weeks.”

Mother-In-Law: “Yeah, the holidays can be rough. At least they’re over now.”

(My wife and I share a look.)

Me: “Not just the holidays, though those were a huge part of it. We had to kick [Ex-Roommate] out over the weekend. They had money problems earlier in the year but they were keeping the house clean, so it was fine for a while, but then they stopped doing that, too.”

Wife: “And they for some reason really had a problem with [My Name] but every time we tried to talk to them about it, they just got hostile and angry. We even have screenshots to prove it.”

(Reads a few messages off.)

Mother-In-Law: “Geez, I’d be in a bad mood after all that, too.”

Me: “Oh, there’s more.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, no.”

Wife: “Apparently some important health insurance forms never got mailed to us, so [My Name] doesn’t have health insurance for a few weeks while that gets sorted, so we can’t refill her meds. Or go to that specialist next week that we had to fight all year to finally get a referral for.”

Me: “And we were so broke over the holidays we could only afford to give each other a single gift this year, and nothing for anyone else, which my family got mad about. I managed to find two nice things on clearance for [Wife] that were under budget together, but one of them was defective and the other package was stolen off the porch. Since they were both clearance items, no returns, refunds, or exchanges.”

Wife: “And one of the problems we had with [Ex-Roommate] is that [My Name] made them a hat for their birthday and when she gave it to them, [Ex-Roommate]’s response was ‘where would I ever go to wear this?!’ and left it when they moved out. [Ex-Roommate] is also going around telling their friends that we’re horrible people for kicking them out right after their birthday, even though we let them live here for free for three months.”

Mother-In-Law: “I thought [Ex-Roommate] had a second job now?”

Wife: “Yeah, that’s why we got firm about rent. We told them they had to start paying us rent again since they could afford it now and the next day they showed up with a truck and hauled their stuff to their parents’ place. On top of all that, you know about the issues I’m having with my work managers, so I’m looking for another job but nothing is hiring. All this has happened within the last week-and-a-half, so neither of us are in the best of moods right now.”

Mother-In-Law: “Well, YEAH, you guys have had a h*** of a time. I wouldn’t be in a good mood either after all that. Geez, what else could happen?”

Me: *thin smile* “Yesterday I got summoned for Jury Duty.”

(My mother-in-law must have sensed I was at my wit’s end because she canceled her plans so she could take us out to dinner instead. Much to my embarrassment, her offer made me burst into tears and we had to wait for me to calm down to go. I’m so glad the holidays are over!)

(I’m at the local DMV transferring the title of a moped I just bought. While this is my first moped, I’ve done my research and know that this particular vehicle is, indeed, a moped which means I don’t need a motorcycle license. But in the middle of the paperwork, this happens.)

Employee: “Is this a moped or a motorcycle?”

Me: “It’s a moped.”

Employee: “I don’t know… I think this is supposed to be a motorcycle.”

Me: “No, it’s a moped. You can even see here on the title that it’s a moped.”

Employee: “How big is the engine?”

Me: “50 ccs.”

Employee: “Yeah, I think it’s 50 ccs is a motorcycle.”

Me: “No, it’s 50 ccs and below.”

Employee: “Let me check.”

(He calls over his manager and he tells him the issue.)

Manager: “How big is the engine?”

Me: “50 ccs. It has a top speed of 30 mph. It’s a moped.”

Manager: “No, I think that’s a motorcycle. You’ll have to register it as a motorcycle.”

Me: *baffled* “Fine.”

(I finished the paperwork registering the vehicle as a motorcycle and took home my new plates. About a week later, I got a letter in the mail. I needed to come back into the DMV because the vehicle I’d registered as a motorcycle should have been classified as a moped. Thankfully, they didn’t make me pay for their error.)