Adamant To The Watery Grave

| Reno, NV, USA | Right | February 6, 2015

(I am a bystander in a well-known electronics store, waiting my turn to be helped by the repair counter. There is a couple ahead of me, having the woman’s phone examined.)

Tech: *showing them with a flashlight* “As you can see, the moisture indicator is dark red, which means there’s water damage and we can’t repair the phone.”

Customer: “What?! Water damage?! That’s ridiculous! I’ve never even taken it anywhere NEAR any water!”

Tech: “I’m sure that’s the case; however, we can’t fix the phone.”

(With much emphasis on how this wasn’t her fault, the woman begrudgingly decides to get a new phone.)

Customer: “And you have to transfer the pictures. There are SO MANY pictures on there.”

Tech: “Well, since I can’t connect it to the computer, I unfortunately can’t do that for you. Unless you have them backed up on your computer at home?”

Customer: “I don’t do that! Can’t you just wifi them over? Why can’t you do that?! I’m telling you, there’s no way there’s water damage! It’s never even come into the bathroom with me!”

(The very patient tech explains the situation, several times, and finally goes to the back to make the switch. The woman turns to her husband.)

Customer: “I can’t believe it! And that had all the pictures on it from our trip to the beach, too!”

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Very Closed Minded

| Boston, MA, USA | Right | January 21, 2015

(I’m the idiot customer this time around. I needed to get some supplies for my computer, and thought the local store was open until 10 pm. It’s currently 8:55 pm when I enter.)

Security: “Oh, we’re getting ready to close.”

Me: “Huh? It’s 8:55.”

Security: “We close at 9. Hope you’re quick!”

Me: *starting to dash* “Watch me.”

(I make a mad dash through the otherwise empty store as fast as I can go, grabbing my three items and running to the register. Timestamp on the receipt: 8:59pm.)

Cashier: “You used to work retail, huh?”

Me: “Yup, and I would’ve kicked my own a** if I took too long!”

(The staff laughed and gave a brief cheer as I, the last customer of the evening, was out the door at nine on the nose.)

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Charged With A Battery Assault

| Piacenza, Italy | Working | December 17, 2014

(It is 1997. My boss decides it is time to buy a new cell phone, so we go to the small store owned by a friend of his. He ends up paying the equivalent of $1000 for two phones with new plans. Since my boss and the owner know each other, he doesn’t feel the need to put a sticker with their logo behind the battery of the phones, which they usually do as proof of being purchased there. The next day, my boss’s phone is faulty, so he gives me the phone to get sorted at the store. I go and speak to the clerk:)

Clerk: “This phone is clearly faulty, but I can’t exchange it as it wasn’t purchased here. There is no sticker behind the battery.”

Me: “I was here yesterday with my boss. Your coworker actually sold us two phones in the owner’s office. He said that the stickers were not necessary. You can ask your coworker.”

Clerk: “He’s on his day off, and you didn’t buy this phone here.”

Me: “May I speak to the owner?”

Clerk: “He’s not here, and this phone does not come from here.”

Me: “Listen, I was here yesterday with my boss. He paid for two phones and activated two new plans.”

Clerk: “You haven’t bought this phone from us. Now, please leave.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call my boss and we’ll try to figure out what to do. Have a nice day.”

(While standing on the sidewalk in front of the store windows, I call my boss and explain the situation. Suddenly the store door slams open…)

Clerk: “Still here? Not convinced? Maybe I should call the cops to convince you to go away?”

(My boss hears what the clerk says and gets quite angry.)

Boss: “Is the owner there?”

Me: “No, he’s not—” *the owner suddenly walks in front of me* “— Oh, he’s here now!”

Boss: “Good. Wait two minutes, then go inside and… enjoy.” *click*

(A couple of minutes later I go inside. The clerk sees me, and in front of about six or seven other customers, starts shouting at me.)

Clerk: “WHAT DID I TELL YOU? DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO CALL THE COPS? I’M TIRED OF—”

(Suddenly, the boss comes out of his office and approaches the clerk.)

Boss: “COME. WITH. ME. NOW.”

(They go to the back. A few minutes later the clerk comes back with a pale face and his boss standing four feet from him, very angry.)

Clerk: “I’m sorry from the inconvenience, sir. Here’s a new phone for your boss…”

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Hired And Fired And Tired

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Right | December 3, 2014

(I’m shopping at a large electronics store. I’m dressed casually in a blue graphic tee which, if you aren’t paying attention, for a second might look like what the employees wear.)

Other Customer: “I need you to find this for me.”

(I don’t respond as I am not aware that she is talking to me. I am reading the specs on the back of a box. The other customer then shoves an opened item in my hands on top of the box I am holding.)

Me: “What the h***?!”

Other Customer: “HELLO?! FIND this for me.”

Me: *hands it back to her* “I don’t work here. Work on your manners, lady.”

Other Customer: *she just stares at me for a minute* “YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!”

(I just shake my head and start walking away. She is really getting on my nerves.)

Other Customer: *following me* “STOP RIGHT THERE! You are NOT allowed to talk to paying customers that way!”

Me: “I’M a paying customer. I don’t work here! Go away!”

Other Customer: “I want to talk to your manager! You need to be fired for your attitude.”

Me: “They can’t fire me if I don’t work here. Stop following me!”

(At this point, other people are staring, laughing at the lady, and sharing sympathetic looks with me.)

Other Customer: “Oh, we’ll see about that!”

(A manager steps in as this lady has made a scene in the store and a lot of people have taken notice.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Other Customer: “This b**** is giving me the worst attitude! I have never been treated so badly in all my life!”

Me: “And this psycho keeps following me around thinking I work here! I keep telling her I don’t work here!”

Other Customer: “You won’t be working here if you keep up your b****y attitude!”

(The manager is clearly very uncomfortable.)

Manager: “Uh, ma’am, she doesn’t actually work here.”

Other Customer: “You need to handle this! Fire this b**** immediately!”

(The manager looks around at the customers and employees who have gathered at a safe distance and are snickering at the scene. He looks at me and shrugs.)

Manager: *to me* “Uh… You’re fired, ma’am?”

Me: *dramatically and smiling* “YOU CAN’T FIRE ME BEFORE YOU’VE EVEN HIRED ME!”

Manager: *smiling* “I’d like to offer you a job as an associate. Awesome pay and benefits?”

Me: “I’ll TAKE it!”

Manager: “You’re fired.”

Me: “NOOOOOOO! How could you?!”

(The crowd starts laughing.)

Other Customer: “Are you MOCKING me?!”

Me: “He’s just giving you what you demanded. Now quit bothering me.”

(She turned bright red and stormed out of the store without another word.)

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Should Have Maintained Radio Silence

| USA | Right | November 6, 2014

(I work in a stereo shop in a not-so-savory neighborhood. We see stolen radios A LOT. It’s really obvious when one is stolen. We also log EVERY serial number sold, just in case.)

Customer: “I just bought this from my friend. I need it installed.”

Me: “Okay, what kind of car is it going into?”

Client: *gives car info: an older Nissan pickup*

Me: “Well, this is from a Toyota, so we can’t reuse the parts still on it. We’re going to need new install parts. It also looks like the main radio harness is missing, as is the faceplate.”

(Faceplates are removable as a security feature. They basically cost as much as the radio does, just to prevent theft. Harnesses are almost always left behind when stolen because they unclip and thieves think ‘how much could it be?’)

Me: “Check with your ‘friend’ if he has them. Otherwise it’s $150, plus $65 for the install and install parts.”

Customer: “$150!? Are you f***** kidding me!?”

Me: “No, sir. $40 for the harness, $110 for the faceplate. I can have them here in three-to-five days; it’s a special order.”

Customer: “Well, how much is this radio?”

Me: “They’re on sale right now for $129.99. Install is the same price; I still need the same parts.”

Customer: “That’s f****** crazy! I just paid $50 for this. You’re telling me the parts cost more than a new one!?”

Me: “Well, that would be a great deal if you bought a radio with all the parts. For half a radio, it sounds like you got scammed by your friend. The parts cost so much as a deterrence to theft.”

Customer: *just stares; I struck a chord with those words*

Me: “So would you like me to order the parts? Or would you like to just get the same one installed, brand new, with a warranty, for less?”

Customer: “I’ll take the new one.”

(The customer hands me his keys and gives all his info: name/address/phone number.)

Me: “Great, I’ll give you a call as soon as it’s done.”

(He left. I ran the serial; it was sold by us. I called the client. He confirmed his car was robbed, even faxed a police report. We called the police and informed them we recovered stolen property. Moral of the story is, we called him down, he paid for the work, walked out, sat in his car (with the stolen radio still in it) and was arrested in our parking lot. Caught a thief, and sold him a radio at full price, with install. Customer who got robbed gave me a $100 tip. Not a bad day.)

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