His Powers To Resist Are Limited (Edition)

| NJ, USA | Working | August 5, 2013

Me: “I’d like to buy Mists of Pandaria, please.”

Clerk: “Would you also like to buy the Mists of Pandaria Limited Edition Game Guide?”

Me: “No, thank you; just the game.”

Clerk: “But it has everything you need to get your characters to the highest levels.”

Me: “No, I really can’t justify the extra expense.”

Clerk: *sing-song voice* “Limited edition…”

Me: “My wife would kill me.”

Clerk: “Comes with Panda Chopsticks.”

Me: “…d*** it.”

Clerk: “Gotcha.”

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Guessing Remotely

| Sterling, VA, USA | Working | August 1, 2013

Me: “Do you happen to have the remote for this TV?” *points to a TV on display*

Employee: “Actually I’m off work right now… is that a Pac-Man ghost?” *points to my t-shirt*

Me: “No, that’s a creeper from Minecraft.”

Employee: “It looks like a Pac-Man ghost.”

Me: “So do you have the remote?”

Employee: “Cherries.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Strawberries. Oranges.”

Me: “What?”

Employee: “Blue ghost.”

Magic-Touch-Phone

| Australia | Right | July 27, 2013

Customer: “I want to return this phone; it won’t turn on.”

(I turn on the phone, and it works perfectly.)

Me: “Hmm, seems to be turning on just fine.”

Customer: “I’ve been doing that all yesterday, and it didn’t work! You must have magic hands or something.”

Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of. I should use my powers for good and go out and use my magic touch to heal things like leprosy.”

Lady: *in all seriousness* “Oh no, I don’t have that.”

The Needs Of The Trekkie Out Blu-ray The Needs Of The Few

| WI, USA | Working | June 8, 2013

Worker: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Me: “No, I think we are good.”

Worker: “Well, could you pretend to be getting my help so I could look to see if the Star Trek movie I have been looking for is here?”

(I look at the aisle I had just entered and see all of the Star Trek movies out on sale because of the new movie coming out that weekend. I smile.)

Me: “Oh, of course!”

Worker: “Thank you!”

(He takes a look and smiles really excitedly.)

Worker: “Yes, they have [Star Trek movie] and in Blu-ray!” *gets back into character* “I hope I was helpful.”

Me: “You were! Thank you!”

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Too Fast, Too Furious

| BC, Canada | Right | May 15, 2013

(A customer calls into our store, and my coworker answers the phone. I’m listening to the conversation.)

Coworker: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a manual for my cordless phone. Do you sell them at your store?”

Coworker: “We don’t sell the manuals, unfortunately. You could probably find it online though.”

Customer: “That will be too much work. Just sell me one of yours!”

Coworker: “What’s the model number?”

(My coworker proceeds to look up the manual on a common internet search engine.)

Coworker: “If you want us to print out a copy of the manual for you, it will be five cents a page. You can pick it up in the store.”

Customer: “You don’t have the manual!”

Coworker: “I do, ma’am. I just found it online.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t. It didn’t take you long enough!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m looking right at it! Would you like us to print you off a copy?”

Customer: “You don’t have the manual! That was too fast! I can’t believe your lack of customer service!”

(The customer hangs up.)

Me: “What just happened?”

Coworker: “Stupid happened.”

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