Zero Chance Of Success

| ON, Canada | Right | June 18, 2015

(If someone’s phone number area code is 905, it is commonly said as ‘nine-oh-five’ instead of ‘nine-zero-five.’ Everyone who has ever sent a letter in Canada, also knows that Postal Codes are always Letter-Number-Letter, Number-Letter-Number. I am trying to do an online order for a customer, who has been very difficult throughout the entire transaction. I am taking his shipping information down.)

Me: “Okay, and what’s your postal code?”

Customer: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

(I type it in and ask for the rest of his info, but the computer tells me the postal code is wrong.)

Me: “Hmm, that’s weird, it’s telling me the postal code is incorrect. Maybe I typed it in wrong. Can you repeat it to me, please?”

Customer: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

(I type in P0E 5Y0.)

Me: “No, it still says it’s wrong. Maybe it doesn’t want me to put a space. Did your area’s postal code recently change?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll try again.” *I try again, and nothing*

Customer: “You do know that when I say ‘oh’, it’s not a letter, right? It’s the number Zero.”

Me: “Yes, I know that. I’m putting in zeros.”

Customer: “Because ‘oh’ and zero aren’t the same thing. They may look the same, but they’re not.”

Me: “I know. I put in zeros.”

(I try again, but it still says it’s wrong.)

Me: *to an associate* “Can you put his postal code in? I keep trying with capitals, no capitals, spaces, no spaces, and it keeps telling me it’s wrong. I’ll bet you if someone else just does it, it’ll work.”

(My associate comes over and asks for the postal code.)

Me: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

Customer: “They’re not ‘oh’s! They’re zeros! That’s why it’s not working!”

Associate: “I know they’re zeros, I know that postal codes are always letter-number-letter, number-letter,number.”

Customer: “But the computer doesn’t know that! The computer doesn’t know that you mean zero when you say ‘oh’!”

Me: “It doesn’t have to, because we’re not typing in ‘oh’s, we’re typing zeros. We’re just saying ‘oh’ because it’s easier. Everyone calls them ‘oh’s; even you did.”

(I tell my associate the postal code again, but I make sure to say ‘zero’ instead of ‘oh’ and when he types it in, it works.)

Me: “Thanks, I knew I just needed someone else to do it.”

Customer: “It’s because you were saying ‘oh’ the whole time! It’s not ‘oh’ it’s zero!”

(I wanted to smack him…)

Laptop Flop, Part 6

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Working | June 14, 2015

(When I was going to college I bought a laptop to do my schoolwork on. Being young and naive, I purchased the extended warranty. When I had the laptop for just shy of a year, it mysteriously died. Since it was covered under the extended warranty, I took it back in to be fixed. They returned it to me, but it wasn’t fixed and soon died again, causing me take it back again. This went back and forth for several months. About the seventh time I take it back, I finally ask.)

Me: “So, how many times do we have to go through this before you just give up and give me a new one?”

Clerk: “Four times.”

Me: “Am I getting my new one, then? Because this is the seventh time, by my records.”

Clerk: “It’s only the second time by our records. You’ll get a new one when it’s been four times.”

Me: “I swear, it’s been far more than four times.”

Clerk: “NO, IT HASN’T! We’ll get this fixed and get it back to you when we feel like it, buddy.”

(Given the rudeness of that clerk, I pretty much give up and adopt an “I’ll get it when I get” attitude. A few weeks later, the college semester is coming to an end. For an oral presentation, I decided to wear my business suit, just to project a more professional air. When I was driving home from class that night, I was passing the electronics store, and decided to stop in and check up on my laptop. I walk up to the desk, and see the same rude clerk working. This time, though, rather than his rude demeanor, he leaps to attention as I walk to the desk.)

Me: “Yes, I dropped off my laptop to be fixed a few weeks ago.

Clerk: “Yes, sir! I’ll go check up on that right away, sir!”

(The clerk disappears into the back for a few minutes. He comes out with a brand new laptop.)

Clerk: “Well, I have bad news for you, sir. They were testing your laptop in the shop, when it suffered yet another failure. That’s four times, and, under the terms of the extended warranty, let me please present you with this new laptop.”

Me: “Really? Now it’s been four times? When I dropped it off a few weeks ago, you said it’d only happened twice.”

Clerk: “Umm… it suffered its additional two failures while we were working on it. So, yup. It’s been four times now, and as you’ve been awfully persistent in this matter, we can give you a new laptop.”

Me: “Okay. Well, then, thank you very much for this.”

Clerk: “And on behalf of the store, let me deeply apologize for taking so long to replace your laptop. We hope this hasn’t impacted your business, and that you’ll continue coming to us for all your business needs!

(That’s when it finally dawns on me: I’m still wearing my suit! The clerk’s demeanor had improved because he was now assuming I was some important businessman, and needed the laptop for work. I decided to roll with it.)

Me: “Are you aware of how much money I’ve lost waiting for this? I cannot, in good conscience, continue to bring my company’s business here. You can tell your manager you just lost this store the Henderson account!”

(The clerk went pale and slumped in his chair, as I left with my new laptop. By the way, I don’t know anyone named Henderson and never worked for a company named Henderson. It was just something I saw on a sitcom.)

 

1 Thumbs
1,215
VOTES

Completely Sale’d Out

| Milwaukee, WI, USA | Working | May 17, 2015

(After determining that the Blu-ray player I want doesn’t have outputs that will work with my old TV, I’m trying to decide whether to wait two weeks, when I’ll be able to get a new TV also, or buy the player now, because it’s on sale.)

Me: “So, how long is this sale good for?”

Employee: *looks at shelf tag* “Wednesday. But don’t worry; it’ll be the same price.”

Me: “How’s that possible? Are you saying it’s not a real sale?”

Employee: “It’s a real sale. But these are always on sale.”

Me: “If it’s always the same price, it’s not really on sale.”

Employee: *backpedaling* “It’s not always the same price. Once this sale is over, it’ll be a different sale.”

Me: “So what will the price be after Wednesday?”

Employee: “It could be higher or lower. But it could be the same.”

Me: *laughing* “Well, that pretty much covers it.”

He’s Never Finn-ished

| Helsinki, Finland | Right | May 15, 2015

(A customer is buying a few items. Due to a misunderstanding that isn’t in any way my fault he almost ends up buying the wrong model of a popular phone. I apologize nonetheless and the matter is resolved. Since the misunderstanding he’s had a chip on his shoulder. He is watching me very closely and trying to catch me making a mistake. To his disgruntlement everything goes smoothly.)

Me: “…and there you go. Have a pleasant day.”

Customer: “Hmph… Boy, let me ask you a question. Where are you from?”

Me: “Helsinki.”

Customer: “No, no, no… I mean originally?”

Me: “Helsinki.”

Customer: “Stop being a smart a**! What country are you or your parents originally from?!”

(I’m a bit baffled by this question since I’m blond, have blue eyes, and a light skin. I look pretty much your stereotypical Finn.)

Me: “Finland… Um, what are you trying to ask exactly.”

Customer: “Look here, brat, stop playing this game with me! I know you immigrants like to think of yourselves as Finns, but you are not and never will be. Stop dodging my question and answer me! Where is your family from?!”

Me: “Sir, please calm yourself. I am not playing games. As far as I know my family has always lived in Finland. What makes you doubt—”

Customer: “Impossible! That just can’t be true.”

Me: “Well, sure if you are talking about the dawn of humanity; then everyone is from Africa, I guess. But my grandfather was actually a genealogy enthusiast, and he found out that our family has been living in Finland at least since the 17th century. That is pretty much as early as is possible to find any written records from Finland.”

Customer: “No, you are lying!”

Me: “Okay, look at me then. Where do you think I am from?”

Customer: “That is not for me to know but for you to tell me! I am a customer!”

(A coworker is standing at another counter with his back to us. He is of Chinese descent but was born in Finland. Only the back of his head is visible to us and he has dyed his hair blonde. He hasn´t heard my conversation with the customer.)

Customer: *shouting to my coworker* “Hey! You! Clerk over there!”

(My coworker turns to us a little surprised because of the shouting. The customer frowns as he sees my coworkers face.)

Customer: *mumbling to himself* “… Oh, god, another one.”

Coworker: “Yes, sir, can I help you?”

Customer: *pointing at me* “What country is this boy from?”

Coworker: “Umm… Finland.”

Customer: “NO! You lying son of a… Where are YOU from?!”

Coworker: “Born and raised in Helsinki.”

(The customer screams incoherently and slams his hand on the counter.)

Customer: “You are all liars, thieves, and tax dodging lazy immigrants who should never have been let into this country! I am reporting you to the consumer authority and immigration officials! This will not stand, mark my words!”

(He storms off.)

Coworker: “What was that about?”

Me: “I have absolutely no idea. A hidden camera show or an episode of The Twilight Zone are the only explanations I can think of.”

(Luckily we never heard from him again.)

1 Thumbs
1,369
VOTES

Refunder Blunder, Part 12

| Surrey, BC, Canada | Right | May 14, 2015

(Its ten minutes to close and I’m in the process of closing my store. A customer comes in with a store bag.)

Customer: “Hi, I bought a helicopter from you guys a few months ago. I was wondering if I could exchange it?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My son flew it into a tree.”

Me: “All righty, I just need the receipt, and if you’ll pass me the copter I can see how much damage it’s sustained.”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have the helicopter. It’s still in the tree. And I don’t have a receipt either, I don’t keep receipts. I brought the controller so you can see I actually bought it, and I’m not lying to you.”

Me: “Okay, the controller matches the copters we sell here, but I can’t just exchange the controller for a new box. I need the copter as well. And a receipt.”

Customer: “But I bought it here; the controller is proof!”

Me: “I don’t doubt that you bought it from here, sir, but I really do need everything that was in the box, including the helicopter, in order for me to do anything.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. You’re telling me I drove two hours to merely exchange this copter for my son, and it was all in vain?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really can’t do anything until I have the copter and a receipt.”

Customer: “Well, that’s stupid. What kind of policy is that?!”

Me: “I think you’ll find most stores exercise the same policy as we do about not having the product you’re exchanging.”

Customer: “Fine! Give me your manager’s card and I’ll be back! You haven’t heard the end of this!”

(He never came back and nothing else has come of this.)

 

Page 13/42First...1112131415...Last
« Previous
Next »