Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11

| AL, USA | Right | August 16, 2014

Customer: *storms into the store, tosses his phone at me* “D*** thing doesn’t work!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *picks phone up* “What seems to be wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s broken. Doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, I understand that, sir, but what is or isn’t it doing?”

Customer: “It won’t let me log into my email. It’s broken. Fix it or get me another one.”

Me: “Well, sir… Is it possible you just put in the wrong password?”

Customer: “No. No, that ISN’T possible. I put in the password the way I always do.”

Me: “Well, let’s do this then, sir.” *I pull out my own phone* “I know my phone works. I’ll log out of my email on here, and you can try logging into it on mine.”

(The customer tries to log in on my phone, and it doesn’t work.)

Me: *smiles* “Now then, sir, either you just broke my phone, in which case I’ll need you to replace it, or you just forgot your email, and I can help you reset your password.”

Customer: *grumbling* “Let’s reset the d*** password, then.”

Related:
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8

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Case Of Mistaken Identity Fraud

, | Opelika, AL USA | Working | August 13, 2014

(This story takes place a few days after the nationwide announcement that a large, well-known retail store had been hacked and that customers who had used credit/debit cards were at risk. I am at the return desk shortly after the store opened on Christmas Eve morning. I have a receipt; the item was purchased two days ago. The cashier looks sleepy and irritated.)

Cashier: “I need to see your ID to process this return.”

Me: *opens wallet and shows ID*

Cashier: “No, no. I need you to take it out so I can scan it.”

Me: “Why?”

Cashier: *uncaring* “I don’t know.”

Me: “Let me speak with a manager, please.”

(Not one, but two similarly irritated managers eventually come to the return desk. I ask why scanning the ID is necessary for a return, and I share my concern that my private information is at risk in light of the recent hacking incident.)

Manager: *shrugs* “Well, if someone’s gonna get your information, there ain’t much you can do but let ’em.”

Me: “…”

Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

| ON, Canada | Right | August 7, 2014

Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

(Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

Me: “Yes, for $69.”

Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

Me: “It is. For $69.”

Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

(I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

Coworker: “$69.”

Customer: “Great, thanks!”

The Color Of Death

| Canton, OH, USA | Right | April 10, 2014

(A customer comes in looking for a new ink cartridge for his printer.)

Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering if you could help me find ink?”

Me: “Sure! Do you know the brand, number, and color you need?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s [Brand] number eight cyanide!”

Me: *pauses for a few seconds, not sure if he’s joking* “Um, yeah. It’s right over here.” *give him the cyan ink*

Customer: “Great, thanks so much for your help!”

(I don’t have the heart to correct him as he continues on his merry way!)

Sadly It Isn’t Illegal To Be An Idiot

| KY, USA | Right | February 21, 2014

(I work at a small, locally owned electronics store. 95 percent of my job is putting customer’s old home movies on DVD, but since we’re located downtown, I get a good deal of work from law firms as well. One day, a known customer comes in. He’s always slightly annoying to deal with, but he’s friends with the owner.)

Me: “What can I do for you today, Mr. [Customer]?”

Customer: “My lawyer gave me these videos but they won’t work in my DVD player.”

Me: “Okay. Let me take a look at them real fast.”

(I put the disc in my computer and notice it’s in an obscure format that needs a specific software that’s used exclusively in the legal system.)

Me: “I see the issue. These won’t work in any DVD player. You need a specific computer software to view these.”

Customer: “I don’t own a computer.”

Me: “Well, that’s fine. I can easily convert these into a format your DVD player can read.”

Customer: “Great. Can I get six copies of it?”

Me: “Sure thing. I should have it ready for you tomorrow morning.”

(I take the discs, make a DVD out of the video and the make the requested copies. The next day, the customer picks up his order along with the original discs his lawyer gave him. About a week later he returns.)

Customer: “These discs don’t work.” *hands me the originals*

Me: “These are the discs your lawyer gave you.”

Customer: “Yeah, they won’t work in my DVD player.”

Me: “Right. Remember I told you need a computer to view these discs?”

Customer: “But I don’t have a computer! All the other discs you gave me work fine. Why won’t these work?”

Me: “Sir, I can’t change the information on these discs. Once the disc is written, it can’t be altered. That’s why I gave you new discs that can be played on a DVD player.”

Customer: “Well, these are no use to me. I need something that works on my player.”

Me: “I can do it again if you want. But since there was nothing wrong with the other discs, I’ll have to charge you again.”

Customer: “That’s fine. I need three copies this time.”

Me: “Sure.”

(Once again I complete his order and have it ready for him next day. This time, to avoid confusion, I put a post-it on the originals that says ‘Must Have Computer.’ Another week passes, and he returns again.)

Customer: “These still won’t work in my player.”

(He hands me the discs. Right on top is my post-it note.)
Me: “Sir, we’ve already been through this! You must have a computer to use these discs!”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “These discs are in a different format. Your player won’t recognize these. That’s why we made the other discs. Twice now.”

Customer: “Yeah, those all worked fine.”

Me: “So why don’t you just use one of those?”

Customer: “I gave them all away. But I need these videos for a lawsuit I’m in.”

Me: “So you want me to do this a third time?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

(This time, I don’t wait. I have the customer sit next to me as I go through the whole process step by step. Once the disc is finished burning, I put it into one of our DVD players to show him it does work. I once again hand him his new disc and the original, and once again charge him. Another week passes. I’m coming back in from my lunch break when my boss approaches me.)

Boss: “Mr. [Customer] dropped by while you were out. He said there was a problem with these discs.”

(He hands me the discs. My post-it note still sits on top. This time I don’t say a word. I simply take the discs, sit them on a shelf in my office, and there they sit to this day. The customer never asked about them again.)

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