My Roommate Is My Pet Hate

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | September 1, 2015

(I’m 18 and working at a convenience store which sells, amongst the usual odds and ends, pet food. I’m working the night shift, and it’s 4:30 am and really quiet, so I have my minor tasks finished. I’m just relaxing and doing some cleaning when I hear shouting outside. I see a man coming towards the door, screaming into his cell phone. He walks in mid-scream.)


(I stare as he walks by, when suddenly he stops and looks at my nametag. He starts speaking (slightly) quieter, and heads towards a back aisle.)

Customer: “—and you know what else? Now there’s another night ruined. [My Name] is stuck working tonight at [Convenience Store]. He was looking forward to a quiet night where he could do some cleaning, some inventory, and take it easy. Instead, he has to stand behind the counter listening to a crazy man screaming into his phone because HIS ROOMMATE IS A STUPID, MOTHERF******, SELFISH, IDIOTIC, TOOL! IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR STUPIDITY FOR ANOTHER—”

(He pauses mid-sentence, then looks at his phone, then at me.)

Customer: *in a completely calm voice* “His voicemail just cut out again.”

Me: “What happened?”

(The customer comes up and puts several cans of cat food on the counter. As I ring him up, he unlocks his phone and starts dialing while he talks.)

Customer: “I work in a 24 hour call center. I just had the shift from hell, and got home to find my roommates cat howling and crying because it’s hungry and we have no cat food. My roommate knew, but he went out partying anyway and left me to deal with it.” *suddenly he holds the phone closer and begins screaming again* “SO I’M HERE AT 4:30 IN THE F****** MORNING MAKING YOUR DAY WORSE BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS AN A**! THE CAT IS HOWLING AND SCREAMING, AND I CAN’T SLEEP UNTIL IT’S FED, BUT G** F****** FORBID THAT ANYBODY INTERFERE WITH THE A**-HOLE’S LATEST HOOKUP!”

(He continues to scream obscenities into his phone while paying me for the cat food, then apologizes to me again for his behavior and wishes me a calmer night before screaming again into his phone.)


(He walks out screaming, and I burst out laughing. It became a running joke for several days after that, until I see the customer and another man at midnight looking at junk food. They’re talking normally, and when they reach the counter the customer’s eyes widen and he greets me happily, and then looks at his friend.)

Customer: “Well?”

Customer #2: “Well what?”

Customer: “This is [My Name].”

Customer #2: *looking confused* “Hi?”

Me: “Hi.”

Customer: “Are you going to apologize?”

Customer #2: “For what?”

Customer: *eyes narrowing* “You didn’t listen to my voicemails, did you?”

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Whistling With A Specific Porpoise

| USA | Right | August 24, 2015

(I work as a cashier. It’s a slow Monday, so I’m at the front tidying up shelves. A woman wearing dark sunglasses and holding the harness of a dog comes walking in and stops about five feet from the door.)

Me: “Hello!”

Woman: “Hello!” *starts whistling loudly and walks a few more feet into the store* “Mom!”

Me: *raise eyebrows*

Woman: *sees me looking at her* “It’s okay. We have echolocation!” *starts whistling loudly again*

(After a few more seconds, nobody has answered her whistling.)

Woman: “Nope. Not this store.”

What A Harasshole

| OK, USA | Romantic | August 21, 2015

(It is a very busy afternoon. My younger coworker and I are trying to power through long lines as quickly as possible. She begins helping a man and I overhear some of the conversation. It starts with a normal “where are you from?”, and then quickly progresses.)

Customer: “Let me get your number.”

Coworker: “No, thank you.”

Customer: “Oh, come on.”

Coworker: “No, thank you. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

(The customer proceeds to pester her with questions, asking if she has a boyfriend. When she replies that she has a girlfriend, he gets more persistent.)

Customer: “I know her. She won’t mind.”

(I have cleared my customers and fully turn my attention to him.)

Me: “Sir, I am her girlfriend and I do mind. Please stop asking.”

Customer: “Nah. How do you know she’s not my sister?”

Me: “Sir, I honestly hope she’s not because that’s frowned upon here.”

Customer: “I was just playing. If she’d just give me her number—”

Me: “Sir, you are harassing my underage employee. I must ask you to leave. If you refuse, I will be forced to call the police.”

(When he told her that he’d be back to ask again when she’s alone, I stand between them and promise that she won’t be. A week later, he came in again. That coworker wasn’t scheduled, but our main manager was present. I mentioned that it was the same guy and she followed him to his car. His wife was with him and threatened to sue for falsely accusing her husband – at least until we pulled up the cameras and had proof of him doing it.)

Just Say No

| Edmonton AB, Canada | Friendly | July 31, 2015

(This takes place one summer afternoon while my boyfriend and I (we are both guys) are leaving a nearby convenience store. A group of young teens comes running up to us.)

Member Of The Group: “Hey… umm, could you guys by chance get us some cigs?”

My Boyfriend: “Naw, sorry. Can’t really risk it with how hard they are cracking down on that kinda thing.”

Female Teen: “Awww come on. If you do it, I’ll show you my t**s!”

Boyfriend & Me: “Hahahaha naw sorry. We’re kinda gay.”

Male Teen: *without missing a beat* “W… well I’ll show ya my d*** then!”

(We ended up just saying no.)

Your Card Is A Smoking Gun

| OK, USA | Right | June 26, 2015

(I am a cashier at a local convenience store. Normally, I am very sweet and friendly, but today I am having a bad day. Not only did I have a full truck of inventory to check in and put away, but I also have three sections of the store to reset. A man comes in in the midst of the chaos and grabs a few bags of chips, some sandwiches, and several sodas. He goes to the register clearly marked as closed, moves all of my paperwork over, and continues to talk on his cell phone. I smile anyway, taking all of his items and moving them to the open register.)

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: *silence*

(I ring up all of his food and place it neatly in bags.)

Me: “That’ll be $12.36.”

(The customer reaches into his pocket and pulls out a food stamp card. It looks as if it has been melted. Half is missing.)

Customer: “It won’t read, so you have to punch in the numbers. The first ones are-”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but I cannot legally accept damaged cards.”

Customer: “They do it all the time at the other store.”

(When I refuse again, he becomes visibly upset.)

Customer: “Fine, just give me some smokes.”

(It is store policy to ask anyone who looks under 40 for their state ID when buying tobacco or alcohol. It must be not be damaged or expired.)

Customer: *hands me the id*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but your ID expired in 2011. Do you have another?”

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! I’LL JUST GO SOMEWHERE ELSE!” *storming towards the door* “I’m thirty-f******-two years old and—”

Me: “Than act like it, sir. Your tobacco is not worth my job.” *smiling as sweetly as ever* “Have a nice day, sir. Stay safe today.”

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