Music To My Fears

| LA, USA | Working | June 12, 2015

(We have a little stereo in our store and are allowed to play music as long as it’s not too loud. I take my iPod and plug it to the stereo via auxiliary cable, as I prefer various genres of rock but the only radio station that comes in plays country and pop. After about a month of doing this, my manager comments on it one night.)

Manager: *cringing* “Gosh, [My Name]! What on earth are you listening to?”

Me: “That’s Marilyn Manson. Next song is Poison.”

Manager: “Well, you need to turn it down and [Manager’s Boss] says that we have to keep it on a station like [Only Station that will tune in] because people might complain.”

Me: “Oh? I haven’t had anyone complain so far and even though it’s not that loud I always turn it down when someone comes in.”

Manager: “Yes, [Manager’s Boss] said so.”

Me: “Right. I’ll remember that.”

Manager: “Good.”

(What my manager doesn’t know is that her boss had come in on my shift before and commented on how nice it was to hear a change in music and that he liked the playlist on my iPod. We also discussed music and he said he’d like to get his hands on my iTunes.)

Gave Him More Than He Could Chew

| Guanajuato, Mexico | Working | June 11, 2015

(My uncle is the customer in this story. He lives in a large city in Mexico. On the corner of the street there is a small, family-owned convenience store. In Mexico, the smallest coin is .50 cents, the usual cost for a small packet of gum. Most of these stores give out packets of gum when they do not have change; of course, they usually ask if this is ok.)

Uncle: “I’ll take a quart of milk, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be $11.50.”

Uncle: *hands cashier $12*

Cashier: *takes money gives back a packet of gum as change*

(The following day:)

Uncle: “I’ll take a kilo of eggs, a quart of milk, and a loaf of bread.”

Cashier: “That’ll be $62.50.”

Uncle: *hands cashier $65*

Cashier: *takes money and gives back $2 and a packets of gum as change*

(This happens for several occasions. The cashier would give him back packets of gum as change whenever there was a .50 cent difference. Then one day…)

Uncle: “I’ll take a quart of milk, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be $11.50.”

Uncle: *takes $11.50 worth of packets of gum, and hands them to the cashier*

Cashier: *stares at him blankly*

Uncle: *takes milk and walks away*

(After that whenever my uncle went back into the store and bought something, the cashier would always give him his exact change. No more packets of gum!)

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Number One Choice Of Drink

| Sweden | Friendly | June 4, 2015

(I’m at a friend’s house, having a roleplaying session with her and one of her old classmates. We decide to take a break and go buy dinner. At the store, I’m stopping to decide on a caffeinated drink to buy for my night shift. Note that my friend, while nice, has a bit of a superiority complex.)

Me: “I’m kinda tempted to try this generic-looking cola brand. What do you guys think?”

Classmate: “Well, just pick one you like…”

Friend: “You should buy this instead!”

(She holds up a bottle of vitamin water that she’s buying for her boyfriend, who also works a night shift.)

Friend: “It contains caffeine as well as other nutrients. It’s much better!”

Classmate: “Uh, I think she’s looking for something higher in sugar and caffeine, though. She has a pretty long shift, after all.”

Friend: “Why would you not want this instead?! It’s SO much better!”

(As she walks off, her classmate and I just look after her.)

Me: *whispers* “…Doesn’t she know that vitamin water is a total rip-off? It contains so much sugar, and vitamins aren’t absorbed very well by the body when dissolved in water, right?”

Classmate: “Yup. In that aspect, it’s a bit like drinking pee.”

On A Maturity Diet

| Sparta, WI, USA | Right | June 3, 2015

(Two customers approach my register one night with some two-liter bottles of Coke, some tubes of Mentos and other assorted snacks. I begin ringing them up.)

Customer #1: “Don’t worry; we’re not gonna go do the Coke and Mentos thing.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, that’s not what we’re going to go do.”

Me: “Well, I figured as much. You’d want the diet for that to work.”

(The customers trade a glance.)

Customer #1: “Really?”

Me: “Yup. It’s the artificial sweetener that helps speed the reaction.”

(The customers trade a second glance.)

Customer #2: “Mind if we go switch these out for diet?”

Me: “They’re the same price; go for it.”

Customer #1: “Thanks.”

(They exchange the bottles and as they’re headed out the door…)

Customer #1: “And we’re totally not gonna do the Diet Coke and Mentos thing!”

(The kicker? They were in their late 30’s at the youngest, judging by their salt-and-pepper beard stubble.)

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You Have A Hot Voice

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | May 25, 2015

(I’m at the register on a slow day. A customer comes to the counter with a couple of boxes of Hot Pockets.)

Me: *scanning the boxes and singing the jingle*Hot Pock-ets!”

Customer: *deadpan* “That was beautiful… I hope that’s not weird to say.”

Me: “Not at all! Thank you!”

(Made my day!)

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